Embracing Big Change

One Friday night when I was a girl, my parents took me out for pizza and root beer, a rare treat. They explained that we would move to Venezuela, leaving behind our suburban, Midwestern backyard with squirrels, raccoons and robins for a place with monkeys, iguanas and parrots. This was a country I had never heard of, with a language I didn’t know — a place that may as well have been Mars.

As I remember, none of it seemed that extraordinary. I don’t recall feeling a moment of hesitation. I asked some obvious questions: Where was Venezuela? South of here. Where would we live? Don’t know. Where would we go to school? Not sure. Oh, okay, pass the root beer, please. And just like that, my childhood spent in Venezuela became the foundation of who I am.

Fast forward some 35+ years, and I’m sitting in a diner with my 10-year-old son, about to tell him that we’re moving from bucolic, suburban Boston to the urban dynamism of Brooklyn. My heart is racing and my palms are sweating as I explain to him how different our life will be. And he asks: Where is Brooklyn? South of here, I say. Where will we live? Don’t know, I say. Where will I go to school? Not sure, I say. And then a big smile spreads across his face and he says, Awesome! He never asks another question; he happily eats his pancakes. My thought at that moment is: will he always embrace big change so easily?

I’m in the middle of big change. 6 months ago this week, I left a job where I was the established expert with an entrenched leadership position and enviable financial security. I chose instead a job that has none of those things. When colleagues heard about my choice, the common refrain was: that takes guts, you’re brave, that’s courageous. Truth is, I am terrified. And since then, people have approached me looking for professional advice, hoping that I can give them the tools to help them make a similar big change. And this is what I tell them:

1) Big change takes a long time. Six months into my big change and I am still figuring it out. I am not all settled. And I’m okay with these feelings. I made this big change because of where I thought it could take me 6 years from now. So, if you’re making a big change because you want results now, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Before you leap, be honest with yourself about your motivations.

2) Big change takes financial preparation. To make my big change, I had to set back my salary nearly a decade. But about 5 years ago, I starting prepping for it. I realized that making money was not my primary motivator, but since I was blessed to be making money at that moment, I focused on reducing my debt and increasing my savings for my kids’ education. When the opportunity for a big change came knocking late last year, money wasn’t my first concern, it was more like third. I could focus on my primary drivers — a job that brought new challenges and less travel. When I talk to others looking to make a big change, the money is almost ALWAYS the biggest bottleneck; they can’t take the job because the salary is not enough. If you want to make a big change, you have to financially prepare yourself. Before you leap, stock up your piggy bank.

3) Big change fails without lots of support. I am really lucky that my husband is the biggest cheerleader for this big change. I am really lucky that I work for a patient CEO who gives me a long leash to figure out this new role and new life. And I am really lucky that I have a few CFO mentors who are gracious with their time and advice. I absolutely believe that these people will be the key to my successful big change. Before you make a big change, you should ruthlessly assess the quality of your personal and professional support. You will need help. Before you leap, make sure someone is leaping with you.

4) Big change means no regrets. Did I make the right decision? Would I be happier if I had stayed where I was? After a long, stressful day in my new job, I must admit that these thoughts creep into my head. It’s easy to fall into this trap, but this is based on the fantasy that my previous life has remained static. The truth is, in just 6 months, my old firm has already changed; people have left, new people have arrived, and I have been replaced. When I am talking to people thinking of making a big change, they often say that if it doesn’t work out, they can “just go back.” That kind of thinking will sabotage success and erode focus. Big change is permanent. You cannot go back to your old job. That perfect past is a figment of your imagination. Before you leap, fully embrace the big change.

Image credit: Original painting by RozArt on Etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/RozArt