Class of 2013: Build Collaborative Networks of Generosity

The following is an excerpt from a May 11 commencement speech that I delivered at Naropa University in Boulder, CO.

I was born a nerd. I wasn’t cool. While other kids surfed, I read. I moved eight times before I was 18. My dad was a computer programmer and worked on the Apollo space program in Florida, where I got to watch many spaceship liftoffs. There I came to believe people, together, can accomplish almost anything... including landing a man on the moon. The contemplation movement is a bit like that.

At the University of Virginia, I was an accounting and computer science major—still a nerd. But I also had a strong interest in the spiritual side of life. Late one night in 1973 sitting in a field at the University of Virginia, I tried to see if I could become enlightened. I clearly had been reading too many books about the Buddha. I never became enlightened, but I did do my first meditation. During that first sitting, I had a calm mind and was thinking of nothing else other than just being. I was hooked. Think of the first time you meditated.

That first meditation reminded me of my early experience as a musician. I played tuba (yes, still a nerd) and was involved in every band there was… jazz, orchestra, stage band, marching band. I loved that flowing state, that feeling of being connected to something bigger than myself as I worked with others to play a great piece of music. I started working to find that feeling in other areas of my life—work, social, and family. My ah-ha moment was that great connection and joy can be attained not only through music but also by being present and working collaboratively with others on challenging projects. The most successful boards, teams, and companies I have been associated with have all felt like we are a band working together and playing a great piece of music.

Applying Contemplative Collaboration to Real Life

So I set about developing my contemplative and collaborative skills and applying them in my life—including my business career. I was a venture capitalist and private equity investor for 25 years. I loved building collaborations with management teams in companies that ranged from JetBlue Airways and Petco to Guitar Center. My contemplation practice made me a better partner, a better leader, and a better person. After 9/11, I brought stress management tools to my group at JPMorgan Chase. (Of course “stress management” was just code for meditation.) My group earned great investment returns for 25 years partly due to some of the personal practices our group used. My partners, including Jerry Colonna, have become lifelong friends. We are all still finding ways to collaborate with each other even after we have moved on to other places. The band is still playing gigs together.

These days I spend 90% of my time on nonprofits and social enterprise, and I am having a blast working with others on some big hairy problems. I’ve been studying and working on collaborations that address issues such as global health, educational reform, and deaths from malaria. Working with others on problems that are larger than our individual selves is a joy and makes my life more meaningful.

And through it all, I’ve continued to be fascinated with mind training. What is happening to our brains when we meditate? As an old investor, I am always looking for trends and the contemplation movement is one of the most useful and productive ones I have seen in a long while.

Mindfulness and contemplation used to be restricted to small groups of New Agers sharing their secrets. Now, mindfulness, yoga, and other practices are topics of discussion on Oprah; Deepak Chopra is teaching meditation on YouTube; Penn State is designing approaches to bring contemplative skills to teachers; U of Miami is working with the U.S. Military to give soldiers the skills to handle stress in the field to reduce PTSD… and it goes on. Contemplation has moved out of the closet and into the everyday world.

I recently had a group of some of the most successful hedge fund investment managers down to the University of Virginia for a symposium to talk about their philanthropy and self-development practices. Can you imagine what most people think of when they think of hedge fund guys… money-focused, uncaring? Not these people. They say that contemplative practices have helped them see the world more clearly and so made them better investors and more impactful philanthropists. They are bringing these practices to their firms. Google has meditation and yoga rooms in their offices. Golfers are developing mind-training practices to improve their game. And in business schools these days, the most popular classes are those that focus on self-inquiry. At Harvard it is called Authentic Leadership, at UVA it is called Wisdom and a Meaningful Life, and at Stanford they call it “touchy feelie.”

8 Key Tools for Contemplative Collaboration

As you practice and use your contemplative and collaborative skills, there are eight things that I would recommend you consider:

1. Keep it simple. Look for simple ways to apply your contemplative skills to real-life problems. Don’t overstress on achieving enlightenment—yet. Start with one issue to focus on and then layer in others as you build your confidence. Work on getting to sleep more quickly; move off ADHD drugs; manage stress better; stop smoking. It works. Then you can model it and maybe teach these skills to others. Make it easy for others to start using contemplative skills. One place you can direct them to is Headspace.com, a company I am involved with that has great web and mobile app that will help anyone start.

2. Build meditation into your daily routine, and bring it into your job. Evidence is growing that multi-tasking is actually impossible, and even trying to do it is unhealthy and counter-productive. So put down your iPhones and iPads. Don’t tweet or check your texts. Be present. Be with yourself. I had a chance to talk with Jeffrey Hopkins, one of the Dalai Lama’s early translators. I asked him how many times a day he meditates and he said eight. I said, "Wow, for how long?” and he said: “Sometimes for a while, but most of the time for a minute because that is all I need to remind myself to be in the present moment." Imagine that, always living in a present state. Studies say that 70% of our thoughts are about the past, 20% are about the future, and only 10% are about NOW. Try to live more in the NOW and increase that 10%. I think you will be happier at work and home.

3. Learn to listen well. This is key for collaboration. You know what you know; you don’t know what the people around you know. So develop real listening habits. Don’t look over someone's shoulder in order to see whom else you would like to speak to. Look your conversation partner in the eye. Don’t think about the next question you want to ask or the counter-argument you want to make. Try to go deeper with them in that moment.

4. Manage your ego. Don’t take yourself too seriously. It is hard to get rid of your ego completely, but remembering that you aren’t more important than others is useful. Understanding you have much to learn is a huge leap. Having a managed ego is an important trait for people who are trying to build collaborations. People want to work with others who will listen and see others as having significant value to add.

5. Bring people together around shared purposes. Practice collaboration. One way to do this is by having connective, stimulating group dinners. I call them Jeffersonian Dinners since we originally developed them based on dinners Thomas Jefferson had in his home at Monticello. At these dinners, you are not allowed to speak to the person next to you. You speak to the entire table, and everyone participates. Many of these dinners are focused on discussing problems that the group can work on together to solve. We have held the dinners around the world on topics ranging from curing malaria to bringing music to school kids in America. We even use the format at dinners with family or friends. They are great ways to discover others' passions and find openings to connect with others on those common passions. Check out this link if you want to know more.

6. Keep developing your connections with other people. Networking isn’t a bad word. We all desperately need and want to have supportive groups of people we interact with. I heard the Dalai Lama say that the Western World has taken the teachings related to a strong wisdom practice from the East but seems to have missed the importance of using sangha as well—which is the idea of group work/connection that is also very important in a deep contemplative practice. As you work and live life, take the extra moment to develop connections and relationships and work to deepen them. I know my wife and I are still working on deepening our relationship, and we have been married 28 years.

7. Find mentors. Build your collaborative network. Team up with people who are entering the later parts of their careers. They want to work with others on things more important than themselves. You have as much to offer them as they do you. Your energy, creativity, and perspective matched with an experienced mentor who has a network, experience, and leadership skills. What a great fit.

8. Simplify; don’t make things more complex. This is key for effective collaborations. We used that advice when we worked on the malaria project with the UN and other international groups. We focused on the simple idea of using long-lasting bed nets to protect people in Africa from the mosquitos that transmit the disease. With that simple idea put into operation and with the money and collaborative teams we matched to it, deaths from malaria have dropped in the last four years from more than a million a year to half as much. Now our goal is to drop deaths from malaria to zero by the end of 2015. I hope you’ll apply this idea of simplifying to other important causes. Don’t try to scare or be too general. Come up with simple ideas/goals to rally around, and build collaborations to achieve them.

Building Collaborative Networks of Generosity

Working with others, using the skills that come from extensive practice in contemplation such as deep listening, increasing flow states, being a better team player, having a managed ego, and creating open, present, collaborative environments will make you a great employee, a stronger leader, a better friend, and a more effective parent. Be generous and give yourself, your time, and your skills to causes you can impact. Bring your passions, and work with others who share them.

Finally, build the collaborative networks of generosity that will help our world be a better place. Visit the Generosity Network website, and join our movement.

Photo: Jeffrey Walker