How to Handle the Workplace Comparison Game

Do you find that you compare yourself to others in the workplace? Does this impede your happiness? I often hear stories which involve an evaluation of skills or attributes as measured against a colleague. Certainly, we all engage in these types of comparisons at one time or another. But you might wonder — does all this "comparing" help or hinder us? Well, that all depends on your perspective.

First proposed by psychologist Leon Festinger, social comparison theory describes our basic need to accurately self-assess our own skills and abilities. In most cases, we prefer objective standards of evaluation. However, when this type of information is not readily available, we are motivated to utilize easily accessible comparisons to determine where we stand. This often involves a target individual — a "comparison other" — by which we measure our own skill set. We seek these comparisons in situations where we experience doubt or uncertainty, and for many of us, benchmarking our own attributes against others can trigger a bevy of emotions which can impact how we move forward.

Interestingly, comparisons can be described as either "upward" — where you measure yourself against a "comparison other" with perceived greater attributes, or "downward" — when the comparison other is of a perceived lower skill set. In fact, there are many subtleties in the comparison process. For example, you might think that an "upward" comparison would always prove to be difficult and a "downward" comparison would consistently enhance self-evaluations. However, this has not always proven to be the case. Studies have shown that upward comparisons can also provide useful information for self-improvement. Moreover, the experience of "benign envy" can prove to be a motivating force, if we believe that change is possible.

The need to make comparisons seems deeply rooted and a nearly universal behavior. If we approach with care, we can certainly maximize the realized benefits and limit the potential pitfalls.

Ultimately, comparisons can be quite useful if we put them into proper perspective.

Some things to consider:

• You may be inaccurate. Research has shown that we can prove to be poor judges of our own skills and abilities. For example, as we process a failure we tend to blame our own skills and abilities, when in reality, other factors were actively operating.
• You need a filter. Don't let a comparison blind you to your own strengths. Remember that no single person's path is identical to your own. In many cases if you knew your comparison others entire career story, you would view things differently. So, be wary of resentment — as each story is layered and unique.
• Turn it around. Attempt to transform feelings of insecurity into a positive state. If you find the work of another to be at a higher level than your own, shift your perspective and attempt to learn from what they are doing right. Focus on becoming energized — not demoralized.
• Balance comparisons. Build a 360 perspective of your skills. If you are unsure of where you stand, seek a number of sources (in addition to your self-evaluation). Be sure to include individuals that have the scope to offer an objective assessment.
• Be generous. Allow yourself to feel hopeful that you can affect a positive change. Comparing yourself to another is quite a different experience — when you are confident that you can learn and grow.

Do you compare yourself to others in the workplace? Has this caused you problems or driven you to excel? Tell us your story.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Organizational Psychologist. She also writes The Office Blend.and US News & World Report's On Careers blog.

Photo: Lu? / Flickr