Shine on the Soapbox

Most people fear it more than death. They would rather have a heart attack and get carted off to the hospital before standing on a platform behind a microphone. Public speaking brings on hives, the heebie-jeebies and general woe. Why? Well, for starters, it's the eyeballs. You know the ones that are staring, waiting for you to faint and bang your head on the lectern. The self-talk goes like this: "Wait a minute, there will be hundreds of eyes on me. If something goes wrong or if I say something stupid, then it will be an embarrassment that will last forever." The act is the self consciousness accelerator - whatever weaknesses or personality ticks that you have may be discovered by others and it is game over. "I am going to be judged!!!!" Relax, nobody really cares that much. All will be ok.

Here are a few pointers to help you dial down that nonsensical self-talk and put you on the path to becoming a toastmaster:

1) One-on-one imagination: You can talk one-on-one with anyone, so, when you are speaking in public, just imagine you are having a one-on-one conversation with each person in the audience. People are just people so, don't let the numbers freak you out. The beauty of public speaking is you get to talk and they have to listen!

On a cloudy Sunday in July 2008, at the age of 12, my daughter Amelia took the microphone at Shea Stadium and belted out a seventh inning stretch rendition of God Bless America in front of more than 50,000 people. Each person is just a person, and guess what? Almost all of them are wishing for you to do well. I told Amelia it is just one person each, 50,000 times. Try it the next time you get to a podium or go on TV.

2) Skin comfort: "Mr. Nixon, the camera doesn't like you," said the twenty-something Roger Ailes. Nixon said, “You’re right,” and hired Roger to be his media consultant. Nixon got a little better, but the trouble was there were things he didn't like about himself that he could never get over. These included his brow and upper lip sweat, for example. So when the lights came on, they exacerbated those things. The point is that the camera picks up what you don't like about yourself and roasts you.

For Ronald Reagan, though, it was totally a different story. He had his faults too; we all do. Yet he was able to look right into the camera like it was an old friend, and the camera recognized him as such and liked him. The next time you are under the lights, think of this - imagine your favorite person, who you know loves you no matter what, and imagine that person has been replicated several hundred times and is in the audience cheering you on.

Then, get over yourself. Whatever you are self conscious about, build up a sense of humor and get over it. TV is the only place I can look as tall as Guy Adami or the Najarian brothers (anchors of CNBC’s “Fast Money,” where I am a regular contributor). That’s because there are four phone books on my seat – and that's how I know which chair is mine on the set. We all have faults; I have a phone book filled with them. Recognize the people you are talking to have faults too. You don't care about theirs and guess what, whether you believe it or not, they don't care about yours either.

3) Be brief: Stand up. Say it. Sit down. Leave something in the tank and walk out before you overstay your welcome. Make the audience wish it lasted longer. The world we live in today requires punchy brevity.

4) Smile: A smile turns the whole conversation and speech in your direction. It sounds cliché, but this is the ingredient that the best speechmakers always bring to the podium.

Public speaking can be learned. You don't have to be born with it. Ask Warren Buffett, he took the Dale Carnegie course and so did I. Don't be afraid, press through any and all weakness and soon people will invite you back to the microphone. Lighten up and find laughter in yourself and the world will light up when you are speaking.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you and enjoy the rest of your day!