Since you asked me so nicely - choose to be nice

I bet you've had that said to you.

A couple of days ago, I received a really nice email from a complete stranger who had found me on LinkedIn and wanted my advice on an issue. It was going to be quite long winded and I really didn’t have the time to spend on her request, but I actually found myself saying out loud to no one “Well, since you asked me so nicely…”

It got me thinking. Had she simply dropped me a line asking for help, I would have responded to her, but spent minimal time doing so. Because she had taken the time and trouble to find out a little about me, read some of my posts and then got in touch, to me she had gone out of her way before making her request. It worked; I put more time and effort into her request.

As someone that spends a great deal of time training others on how to use social sites such as LinkedIn, many people have said to me that if they receive a connection request from someone that hasn’t spent a little time to personalize the invitation, they simply don’t bother to accept it. Is it the same philosophy? “Since you asked me so nicely…”

Being nice and doing nice things for others is a choice, not something in our DNA that we were born with. Yes our upbringing will have an affect on us, how we turn out, but as adults, we choose to be the way we are.

Maya Angelo said “ I’ve learned that people will forget what you’ve said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”

I raise my cup of tea to you all. Choose to be nice.

What are your recent experiences of giving or receiving something nice from someone?

Linda Coles is the author of “Learn marketing with social media in 7 days” (Wiley) and is an author, speaker and trainer on building relationships. She lives in New Zealand on a fig orchard. You can get a free sample of a chapter of her book by registering for her newsletter.

Miriam Blackwelder Fields

Director of Advancement and Alumni Relations School of Nursing

11 年

The Maya Angelo quote is one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing

Anshuman Sharma

Business Development Manager-TRES-TCS

11 年

Thank you .It reminds you to be nice.It communicates how you felt inside your mind..or to be more precise reflects your soul....Thank you once again to remind us in this busy and constantly buzzing environment.

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Joaquín José Noval Lamas

Abogado en ALFIL ABOGADOS - JOAQUíN NOVAL

11 年

"It's nice to be important; but it's more important to be nice". Enhorabuena por el artículo!!

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Amar Trivedi

Technical Trainer - Digital Pathways / Program Delivery Partner at Digital Inclusion Alliance Aotearoa

11 年

Excellent article, Linda. You experienced (ane were moved by) The Power of Nice on a personal level. Extending that same sentiment in a corporate context are two books: 1. "Nice Companies Finish First" by Peter Shankman https://www.forbes.com/sites/elainepofeldt/2013/04/02/do-nice-companies-finish-first/ 2. "Return on Relationship" - by Kathryn Rose & Ted Rubin. I'm happy to share I received a free copy of #RonR - here's my personal experience of the Power of Nice -> https://mrsocial1.blogspot.co.nz/2013/04/in-social-business-relationships-matter.html

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Hinerangi Edwards ONZM

Taranaki whānui, Te Arawa, Samoa

11 年

Kia ora Linda, I'm a complete stranger that you gave time to in the way you described. I'd say you get lots of requests for advice like mine and I appreciated that you responded so kindly. And your advice helped too! Now I'm not a big fan of the word nice - described to me once as 'Nothing Inside Cares Enough'. The point was when one is nice, we are not always honest. When we are not honest with others we can contribute to their false asumptions that all is well. I don't think this is your point. What I got was that courtesy goes a long way. Not only I do appreciate some thought in requests to link in, I also appreciate knowing why the person thinks we can help each other. This shows courtesy and some thinking! I have 65 invites in my tray that didn't help me join the dots. Perhaps I'm just slow or not nice? Have a great day one and all.

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