# 20 Who cares when you die?

I am a person who hesitates to have deep-level conversations with the people around me. People might judge me for my actions and starts giving suggestions of how I can change my thinking. The worst part is people may judge even without hearing the full story. But for the most part, it's not their problem. This thought has come to their minds through years of programming from their childhood.

If this is the case, how can you share your feelings with the people around you? This kind of environment makes them vulnerable to share their problem. So, how can we create an environment where people feel free to share their problems?

Before telling about create this environment. Let me tell you why it is so important to have this environment.

Let us assume your friend is going through a breakup, he wants to commit suicide. When he says about his problem, you're judging him for his cowardness. Adding to those words, you're saying only fools commit suicide for a breakup. Seeing as an outline, the statements you made are true. Do you think he doesn't know that? Of course, he does. Is that going to help him come out of the suicidal thoughts? No!! You only made the situations worse.

The above statement is an example of an extreme situation. It may not happen in your everyday life. But when it happens, are you ready for it?

I can tell little steps which you can take to create these kinds of environments.

Step 1: Listen

When a person tells you the problem, listen to them with your full conscience. Don't think about what can make your reply to them, instead try to understand.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. - Stephen M.R. Covey

Disclaimer: Don't use cell phones while speaking to a person.

Step 2: Don't judge

I understand it is very tempting to have a judgment on the person. Because which is what you believe in. You are just trying to impose your beliefs on the person. It is totally natural. But understand by doing so you're not helping them; but instead, you're doing more worse to them.

We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour - Stephen M.R. Covey

Step 3: Show empathy

The last and final step is just to be kind. As simple as it may seem, you don't know how much impact you can make in their personal lives when you can just be kind. I am fortunate enough to learn empathy in the early stages of my life, and it made it possible to impact few people. Thanks to Stephen M.R. Covey for his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".

I personally suffered from the world that constantly judges me and I know how much it feels like to be judged. So, I strive to make a better world. If you want to do some favor to me, just be kind to the person next to you.

If you can do follow these steps, people will care for you deep down the heart when you die.