20 things I would tell 20-year-old me

Today, I'm bringing the cheese. I'm allowed. It's my birthday.

20 things I would say to 20-year old Lisa:

1. Being like everyone else is really really boring.

2. Don't wait to be chosen. Do the choosing.

3. There's nothing wrong with being average. If you’re average to everyone and special to someone, that’s what matters.

4. Your body can do beautiful things. Love it and take care of it.

5. Society will try and shame you for your female body at every single age. The shame is not yours to carry.

6. Just like Elsa, your powers will grow. Don’t put the gloves on.

7. Parts of you will twist and break along the way. Take the time to repair them because they’ll knock on your door one day asking for interest.

8. There is no one singular Lisa. Dozens of versions of you will emerge; release all of them.

9. Don't laugh away sexist jokes, unwanted touches, and sexual innuendos. You deserve better.

10. You don’t have to smile when you say “no”.

11. You're smart enough and good enough for whatever comes your way. You will figure it out.

12. Being a pretzel is no fun, contorting yourself to fit into everyone else’s box is a waste of life's energy.

13. Expect big things of yourself because you ARE capable of them.

14. Books are a gift. Enjoy them, but don’t use them as your sanctuary from real people.

15. Lean into the awkward. It’s messy and real.

16. Get out of your head. Stop thinking so damn much. The stories, the crippling over-analysis, the fears, the false beliefs, the constant questioning, it's all a debilitating distraction.

17. Listen to your intuition, the part that’s deep down inside of you waiting to speak if you're willing to hear it.

18. When you lose yourself- it will happen a lot, know that you’ll always find yourself again even if she doesn’t resemble the ‘you’ that you remember.

19. Emotions aren’t bad. And they aren’t good. You’re entitled to feel ALL of them.

20. Friendships with other women are worth gold. Women need each other; there is strength and heart in community.

1. ( I know, I know, I only said 20. I snuck this one in.) Figure out what you can do to make the world more beautiful.

“When I grow up,” I tell her, “I too will go to faraway places and come home to live by the sea.”

“That is all very well, Alice,” says her aunt, “but there is a third thing you must do.”

“What is that?” I ask.

“You must do something to make the world more beautiful.”

“All right,” I say.

But I do not know yet what that can be.

-Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney