20 Advanced Tips for Writing a Powerful Personal College Essay -- Part I

All students feel overwhelmed and confused with the task of writing their personal essays for the Common App. No exceptions. (By the way, that kind of extreme language I am using here is one thing you shouldn’t do in your essays–avoid all, never, always. Just saying)?

So let me start again - most students feel the pain of writing college app essays, but they show it differently. Some refuse to talk about it, others agonize about what to write or how to start or scroll endlessly through TikTok and IG for ideas, or tell their parents and friends they got it when, in fact, they don’t, and anything in between.?

Part of the problem is that Personal Essays are so broad. What does it mean to write a whole essay about the small moment, be authentic and use my voice???

The minute I tell students…

"You can write about anything; just be authentic" (cringe)

"Use your voice." (what does that mean?)

"Be personal." (yeah, this is a personal statement)

…I see a blank stare on their face.

Below are 20 tips to help you write that essay.?

1. Your Values Are Your Compass

Your essay should reflect your core values—those things that matter deeply to you. Whether you’re writing about a small moment or a major experience, focus on what it reveals about your beliefs, interests, and priorities. What are instances in your life that felt real to you? Why did they matter? So your values are the heartbeat of your essay. If you’re unsure what values to highlight, look up the College Essay Guy’s Values Exercise. When I finish reading your essay, I should be able to tell someone, in a few sentences, what kind of a person you are and what you care about – family, personal development, justice, or whatever. The art of the essay is to find ways to reveal those values and qualities through stories.?

2. Your Essay is not about The People and The World

Often I read essays that start with…” People are…. “ or “....When you try to…” Generalizations and references to a “you” diminish the complexity of your experiences and depersonalize your writing. Remember, the reader wants to know about you, not the world or what you assume of it. Instead of making sweeping statements about “the world” or “people,” ground your insights in your specific experience and your quirks, flaws and uncertainty. Put yourself in whatever statement you make. Saying, “The world is full of compassionate people,” is less compelling than describing an individual moment where you witnessed compassion firsthand or if you were to describe how and why you feel a tug at the heart. By using specific language, you invite the reader into your world, making the experience personal and relatable, rather than abstract or distant.

3. …speaking of other people

Often, counselors advise against writing about another person in your essay since this essay is about you. That is true. But avoid the extreme version of this. In an attempt to focus on yourself, your essay can end up void of others. Whether you like it or not, other people are part of your world, and it is this world that we are trying to understand. Most of us are pretty self-absorbed anyway, so try to see who else you can bring in your essay. Readers would love to know you care about others and take them into account. After all, who you are - your background, values, interests, projects - didn’t happen in isolation. You will need to find a way to talk about other people or someone else in the essay in a way that your presence and insights remain palpable throughout. There’s a way of doing this.

4. Don’t Worry About Answering the Prompt Perfectly

Many students fall into the trap of trying to “answer” the Common App prompts like they would an exam question. But the prompts are there to guide your brainstorming process. Once you have a topic, don’t obsess over directly answering the question. If you do read those prompts carefully, however, you will understand what it is that colleges want to know about you? - how you overcome challenges, question beliefs, reflect on family background, pursue an interest that makes you lose sense of time, and how you value a person or an issue that means something to you. Use these as guidelines and brainstorming springboards. The real value is in what you reveal about yourself—not how well you answer the question. Most readers don’t even read the prompt or care which one you picked.?

5. Essays aren’t Five-Paragraph Machines?

There’s no secret format to a college essay or how you should start writing it. If you like outlines, work on your outline first, and if a 5-paragraph essay is your thing, that is fine. If you want to journal first on a theme that draws you, do that and see what big ideas emerge. Common App essays are a beast of their own. In fact, they are so niche that you will most likely never have to write something like this. You can have 2-line paragraphs, dialogue, emdashes, and unfinished sentences. Of course, it all has to come together in a coherent story that is not too difficult to read and understand. Don’t forget - readers have a few minutes to read your masterpiece, and if you make it too complicated for them to understand what it is that you are actually saying and what is the big idea of your essay, your essay is not doing its job.?

6. Don’t worry about the Beginning at the Beginning?

Many students delay starting to draft because they want to write that amazing beginning first. If you are waiting to write the hook - that catching opening, and you keep stalling and re-writing it, then write what we call “a placeholder” introduction. In plain language, put down what your essay is about, the gist of your story. Think of it like a sandwich: the introduction and conclusion are your slices of bread, and the story in the middle is your filling. Start with the filling. Write the heart of your story first, then figure out how to introduce and conclude it. The beginning and end will naturally emerge once you have the core.?

7. Non-Linear Storytelling Can Add Depth

Don’t feel restricted by chronological order. You don’t have to start at the beginning of your story. You can start with the ending, then jump to the middle, or begin with a pivotal moment and loop back to explain how you got there. This approach can give your essay a creative and engaging twist that holds the reader’s attention. One more thing - your story is not one story. You can bring many stories - references, examples, images - to your narrative. More on that later.?

8. Write in Your Voice—seriously??

This may be the hardest to do! Make no mistake–anyone who cares about communicating, whether through writing, speaking, or social media, struggles with this. I do. Right now, in fact. How do we write in our voice, and what is our voice? Part of the difficulty may be that we have different identities that fluctuate, interconnect, and evolve. Voice captures attitude, mood, and energy, and for us to show all these things in writing or speaking, we need clarity and confidence. This is why “finding your voice” and “using your voice” sound great but are a longer-term commitment for all of us. So what do you do about that in your college app writing??

9. Don’t Overthink it

Don’t worry too much about it! Don’t be too critical of yourself or your writing, and be brave in your ideas and statements. Don’t try to impress anyone; try to find what sounds true to how you feel and experience things now. Avoid writing in a stiff, formal style that makes your writing read like a newspaper article or your parent’s work email. Of course, be careful. (I told you this is not easy). Have someone read your essay for clarity and take their feedback with an open heart and mind, which will improve your writing. And then go back to the question–is this essay about me and by me? Keep reminding yourself that you are actually pretty interesting and amazing, and if it makes it easier for you, tell yourself that you don’t have to try too hard to prove that to anyone. We already like you, and we want to like you.?

10. Leave the Reader Wanting to Know More About You

A great essay leaves the reader curious and interested in you as a person. As you write, ask yourself: “Would someone want to meet me after reading this?” Avoid essays that leave a negative impression—watch out for vibes that scream bitter, lazy, or resentful. Instead, aim to present yourself as someone thoughtful, reflective, and open to growth. The theme or stories in your essay are less important than the details that show your character. If you have a hard time judging this, imagine you are reading someone else’s essay –would you like that person? (Note: Recently, a student insisted as part of her larger story, to tell how her mother had to wake her up every morning and how she hated that and was constantly upset). Think about it - is this what you want college readers to know about someone who will come to their campus…without their mother??

… if and when ready, go to Part II