20 1/2 lessons over 20 years

Back in 2003, I was one of 40+ freshly minted MBA graduates from crème de la crème B Schools sitting at HLL’s sea facing Gulita training centre in Worli (where today sits the luxurious house of Isha Ambani and family), and at our induction session the then Rewards Manager threw a bouncer at us that made each of us smirk “People spend decades at HLL…” and he introduced us to the 15 year Good Service Award” - a scheme none of us considered even the remotest possibility to be felicitated at. The photo with this post is from 3 years ago, when a stage-full of us were recognized at the said ceremony marking a journey nearing 2 decades!

20.5 lessons over 20 years is my dedication to this journey in the form of some of most personal (and occasionally provocative) lessons I have learnt over these 20 years. I welcome your feedback, agreement, criticism as well (that’s one thing I have learnt to embrace much better in my 40s than I did back in my 20s)…

1.??????The “sweaty palms test”: Back in 2006, less than 3 years in HLL, when the Employee Relations Head called me to offer me the Central Employee Relations role, I recall feeling my palms sweat at the thought of stepping into such a big role so early in my career. Convinced I would falter at it, the stint taught me so much about myself in terms of resilience, grit and sheer intellectual capacity I possessed. Over the next two decades, with each role change, the “sweaty palm” test became a common feature in accepting any new assignments, and with each experience I have felt myself grow in stature and calibre. My first lesson, thus, Choose a job not because it makes you comfortable and you know “you will crack it”, but because it gives you sweaty palms, makes you breathless & that sinking feeling you get while stepping into the unknown. PS: of course if you feel “cruising along” at work fits your larger life goal then that’s fine too (PPS: though don’t expect career acceleration if you choose to cruise)

2.??????Life is a marathon not a sprint, lead accordingly: I have an adaptation to this famous African saying “if you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together” – you can get things done quicker by being a dictator but if you want to create things that last (outlive your tenure), lead democratically.

3.??????Risktaker – to be or not to be: Humans are wired, in general, to be more “risk averse” than?“risk taking”.?So, in most situations, it is good advise to be a risk taker. And don’t worry too much about goofing up “too badly” – organizations are money making machines, they have checks and balances in place to ensure you don’t goof up too bad ??. Make bold risky moves – most large organizations are stuck experiencing “middling” performance simply in absence of the same

4.??????As you don’t know their “Inputs”, you can never truly compare the “Outputs”: We are quick to compare outcomes in our career with others, without ever fully knowing what others are putting at stake for it. Success in career is an outcome – an outcome of hardwork, smart work, choices we make at work…..AND choices we make in personal life. So, to sum up, the real measure of success in career is “rate of returns”, and because you can never truly know how much someone in putting in to their career, you never truly can compare successes. Each individual knows only their own ”rate of return”.

5.??????Lifer v/s Hopper – which one to be?: Some people are “lifers” – they have longer tenures with organizations while some are “hoppers” – they go through organizations like a man hopping across rocks to cross a river bed. Which philosophy holds greater merit? Actually - both choices are fine, neither is wrong. The merit lies in the reason behind each individual choice.

6.??????When your message is tough, be sure to watch your tone: As a leader, landing tough messages is inevitable (tough messages to your customers, clients, vendors, employees & your colleagues), but how you land them is totally upto you. Always remember - when the message is tough, keep your tone soft. Aggression begets aggression. Compassion begets acceptance.

7.??????Collaboration makes solutions robust NOT watered down: Aligning people can feel like a b*** as you may think you are compromising, lowering standards, even slowing down. But what it does is the exact opposite, it makes one person’s vision a shared one, creates an outcome that’s tested through multiple layers and a solution validated through multiples years of diverse experience.

8.??????Is “Karma” really that divine leveller? :?Well, bad things don’t always happen to bad people and sometimes good things don’t happen to good people.

Still its nicer to believe we live in a universe where such a law applies. So choose to believe it!

9.??????As in good so in bad, be all in : We are all ready to accept ratings and bonuses for years we are rated ahead of our peer set but quick to blame the system in years when others are rated ahead of us! The only thing to gain from a bad rating is learning, and in not accepting that rating we lose that only opportunity that it offers. Also - grace is demonstrated in losing not in winning – no one wants to associate with a sore loser (think deeply about that one!).

10.??Honey attracts more flies than vinegar: Unless you are sitting at home making products and selling to yourself, this advise is very valuable in long and short of career. Make nice – there aren’t enough people doing that.

11.??No, we are NOT all Equals!: (This one is going to super unpopular, but only because its so bitterly true) – You probably already began realizing it at school that in the born v/s build debate, born does play a rather important role in success – some kids inherently have sharper brains, better command on language, innate confidence than others. And yes of course with lots of hard work you can “build” almost any trait in yourself, but it will be harder, more consuming, and less effective than those who were (well!) just born with a different DNA to yours. Over the years at work this realization will repeat itself time and time again (even research shows that extroverts, people with better command on language and memory and social skills tend to be more successful than others). Now that doesn’t mean you get lazy (as if it was ever an option in the corporate world), but yes, be less harsh on yourself and (more importantly) avoid falling prey to victim mindset when someone else lands a promotion sooner or a better increment, it may not just be that they are more hardworking, it just may that it comes easier to them.?

12.??Skill building – depth v/s width: Building cross functional knowledge may seem such a waste of time but it just isn’t. Imagine your organization is like the European continent and each function is like a language in that continent (French, German, Dutch, English…). Imagine if you could speak each of these languages (even if not well!), how well would engage with your fellowmen across the continent, elicit support from them and accelerate your understanding of the organization! Organizations face business problems and seek business solutions, the better the appreciation of the business, the more likely you have a solution that works for the business

13.??In decision making – rely on “Gut” Or “Data”: Well, to begin with “gut based decision making” is a misnomer. The gut doesn’t think, nor does it feel – its your “experience or knowledge” on which your so-called “gut feeling” is based. So, until you have significant experience or knowledge on a subject, base your decisions on data. (Unless the decision is linked to eating or pooping, in that case trust your gut. Always! ??)

14.??Peer comparison: Today you will envy someone for landing placement at a better company than yours, 2 years hence you will envy someone for landing a better role in the company, a year later you will envy someone for getting a promotion sooner than you, 2 years hence you will envy someone for landing an international assignment, a year later you will envy someone for being put on a special high visibility project….each year, or every other year you will find one or another reason to envy someone in a better situation than yourself….Many years from now, none of these will matter, none will necessarily adversely impact your career…so spare yourself the heartburn and loss of sleep. Career paths are like ?multiverse – each pathway creates a new parallel universe and each person creates a different universe for her/himself basis the choices made by them from the options offered to them. The only thing constant across all these universes is that hardworking people are doing well and better than those who are not.

15.??Straight talking – is more Talk than Truth: Over the years I have burnt my fingers many time believing certain people’s claim that they prefer “straight talkers”, only to realize they didn’t really have the stomach to digest straight talk. So, be really sure if, those who say this to you, really mean it…this could easily be a career-limiting move.

16.??Make your boss look good: (Ok, I am smiling even saying this ??) Instead of defending this statement, let me just say - If you don’t agree with this statement, say the exact opposite of it aloud and ask yourself, “is that good advise? And if you believe it, what does it say about you?”

17.??Law of diminishing returns applies to careers as well – There is an optimal time beyond which if you are in the same or similar job, you are likely to feel more comfortable (even successful at times), but will be earning less in growth, development, and career progression. PS: the “cruising along” exception applies here too - if you feel “cruising along” at work fits your larger life goal then that’s fine too

18.??Standing against authority? : It is more a matter of tact than grit! Don’t be fooled to think otherwise. And don’t be reckless!!

19.??The higher you climb, the less your success is about you, but about your Team: By the time you hit middle management the most important decision(s) in your job will be who you hire in your team, a close second would be who you choose to retain in your team. Take your time in making these seemingly easy decisions and be decisive about them, teams are not built by accidents (in absence of conscious decision making they may appear like fortunate accidents), which they are not

20.??Successful journeys are chaotic, part planned, part serendipitous, full of doubts and cynics just like epic blunders: Sitting in a conference room listening to a successful leader sharing his journey of a successful venture can seem very seamless, organized and full of conviction – A success story is a reflection of the event in the rear view mirror – the view just like a rear view mirror in a car is smaller than the windshield (where the challenge is actually confronted). Always remember, the experience of a challenging situation can never be truly lived by anyone except they who went through it. There truly were moments in everyone’s success story when they really really didn’t believe they would surmount the challenge before them

20 1/2. Each year you will grow older, wiser and look back at your life experiences with a level of maturity you don’t possess today. In that evolved state, even your greatest accomplishments will appear a shade less brighter. Its not a sign of a job done less optimally but one of having grown over the years. Thus this is half a lesson…over time more will fill in here…

#career #learning #coaching #lifelessons