2 Ways To Combat Loneliness As A Business Owner

Recently, we spent two nights in the Sahara desert. The desert is so mystical and vast that you feel ill-equipped to tie your mind around its endless borders and landscapes.

So much of the desert fascinates. Of course, we saw camels, real mirages, and sand. What bent our minds were the thousands of other living things we saw in the desert – trees, grass, flowers, rare rocks, water, and people.

We walked and watched an entire desert ecosystem quietly and subtly teeming; emerging then disappearing.

Much of my faith background was informed and built around the experiences of people within desert settings whose metaphors have peppered my training and instruction. What I actually saw with my eyes was something different.

Owning a business is lonely. You cannot (or probably should not) share everything, explain everything, or anticipate everything. Decisions are made of which may never feel reasonable.

A typical day may be spent with an owner’s mind racing inefficiently from cash flow to employees, insurance to payroll, or receivables to project scheduling. The end of the day is a scramble to find a short window of numbness to escape before the mind machine churns along.

And then there is life to think about.

It is important to understand that there are varieties of loneliness and not all are poisonous. German-American philosopher Paul Tillich helps us understand the subtly between the loneliness of isolation in contrast to the loneliness of solitude saying, “(Isolation) expresses the pain of being alone, and solitude expresses the glory of being alone”.

The first thing a lonely owner must identify is what desert of loneliness they find themselves in. As we walked through the desert and rode camels through the desert there was an ironic peace, almost a draw to stay. There was a sense where I had just a shard of understanding as to how entire civilizations could both live and embrace life in the desert – it was quiet, calm, with limited distractions, and vast views for the mind to have space to think long and exponential thoughts. There was space that was not available in my office, or around our conference table. The loneliness we feel may be the very loneliness that is needed through the healing salve of healthy solitude.

Sherry Turkle says, “(Solitude) is the time you become familiar and comfortable with yourself… Without solitude, we cannot construct a stable sense of self.” (Turkle pg.. 61)

The human spirit NEEDS healthy alone time. Time to unravel the crust and calcified lies we tell ourselves in the hurried distraction of a noisy day.

Pablo Picasso said, “Without great solitude, no serious work is possible”. Action and reaction may very well be the enemy of healthy solitude and will stunt the joy of healthy solitude. Isolation is the painful dark side of loneliness and can be manifested by a deep, enduring feeling of hopelessness. Community will usually be needed for isolation but ill-equipped to receive if honesty and vulnerability are not included. Community requires vulnerability over transparency and they are different.

Lewis Wright articulates, “Transparency is an openness for observation, but not connection. You let folks know how you’re doing, but keep them at arm’s length so they can’t affect you. Alternatively, vulnerability not only allows for observation, but intentionally opens up for connection (community).”

The second way to combat loneliness is through connection and vulnerability with a person you trust and think wise. Darren Hardy said, “Never ask for advice of someone with whom you wouldn’t want to trade places.”

The solution to isolation is not more isolation.

Embrace solitude in order to bring out your best thoughts, ideas, and insights.

Hedge from isolation as an owner by connecting with a community of other owners.

Business On Purpose will help by providing you a wise guide, a proven trail map, and a group of like-minded owners all running in the same direction.

You can ask-us-anything about your business or how we can help liberate you from chaos by going to https://mybusinessonpurpose.com/ask/ and we will follow up.

Scott Beebe is the founder of Business On Purpose (mybusinessonpurpose.com) and speaker for the AEC industry and author of the book Let Your Business Burn: Stop Putting Out Fires, Discover Purpose, and Build a Business That Matters. Business On Purpose works with business owners to articulate purpose, people, process, and profit to liberate owners from chaos and make time for what matters most.