2 Timeless Skills for Everyday Success

Succeeding amidst change

Life rarely goes as planned. Growing up in small towns in India, I once wanted to join the Airforce, but I did not meet the vision criteria. Then I wanted to study engineering. Even though I had a good rank, financial constraints made me opt for general sciences instead. Since then, my career and interests have undergone a series of changes – from pharma sales, to banking, to consulting, to being an entrepreneur, into behavioural coaching and more recently – into mental health.

I know everyone has a story to tell, and I'm sure some of yours are even more inspirational as are those who we read about often (I'll come to those in a bit).

But after learning about a few concepts in my masters, and looking back at my life, I realised that I had two skills as companions throughout my life, viz. resilience and adaptation. These two have helped me through struggles and uncertainties. Let me talk about these in a bit more detail.

What are Resilience and Adaptation?

Resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks and keep moving forward. And adaptation is the flexibility to adjust to new circumstances and find ways to move forward. Together, they function as a powerful toolkit for success in this ever-changing world.

Today, I’d like to share stories of people who are great examples for these qualities, and to learn lessons from them.

Story 1: Transforming Personal Tragedy into Global Inspiration

Arunima Sinha was a national volleyball player in India. In 2011, a train robbery left her with severe injuries and the loss of her leg. Many would have seen this as a life of woes, but Arunima had other plans.

While still in the hospital, she resolved to climb Mt. Everest. The journey wasn’t easy – she had to adapt to a life with a prosthetic leg, do rigorous physical / mental training, and tolerate scepticism from her loved ones. But within two years of the tragedy, she became the world’s first female amputee to scale Everest. As of today, Arunima has climbed the tallest peaks on every continent (incl. one on Antarctica).

Story 2: Overcoming Cultural and Societal Barriers

In 2008, Muniba Mazari was 21 when a car accident left her paralysed from the waist down. Living in a patriarchal society in Pakistan, I doubt she had too many prospects at leading a normal life. But looks like Muniba had a great companion by her side – her resilience!

While bedridden, she started painting. Over the next 16 years, Muniba became a renowned artist, a motivational speaker, and a global advocate for gender equality and inclusion. She’s recognized internationally, including as a Forbes 30 Under 30 honouree.

Story 3: Turning Small Steps into Big Achievements

Chris Nikic, born in 1999 USA with Down syndrome, faced lot of developmental delays. When he turned 18, he decided to be physically fit and started with a single push-up. Then he began training under professionals. He set himself a goal of improving by 1% every day (which probably inspired James Clear’s Atomic Habits, or vice-versa I don’t know)

Within three years of his decision, in 2020, Chris became the first person with Down syndrome to complete an Ironman Triathlon: a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a full marathon – all within 17 hours.

Story 4: Building a Forest from a Barren Land

In 1979, Jadav Molai Payeng noticed that floods and erosion were killing wildlife on a treeless sandbar near his village in Assam, India. Instead of waiting for help, he began planting trees one at a time.

Over decades, the barren land has been transformed into a 550-hectare forest, now home to Bengal tigers, elephants, rhinoceros and many other species of animals and birds. It's now called “Molai Forest” because he almost single-handedly grew it.

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Everyday Challenges That Test Us

Now, not all of us face such extreme challenges each day or get to become inspirational figures. But resilience and adaptation are skills that we need every day.

We all face situations such as:

• Workplace setbacks: When your ideas are dismissed by bosses / colleagues, or someone takes credit for your work, or you’re overlooked for opportunities.
• Family criticism: When relatives criticise your choices, a spouse pointing out flaws, or a parent compares you with other children.
• Financial stress: e.g., unexpected medical bills, job loss, or being a victim of fraud.
• Abuse: whether physical, emotional or sexual – they can leave long-lasting scars
• Health issues: a chronic illness, a critical accident, or an unexpected diagnosis
• Relationship conflicts: Misunderstandings with family members / colleagues, breaking of trust, drifting apart from close friends.
• Cultural expectations: Societal norms and restrictions, especially for marginalised groups

These situations may be quite small or infrequent (which is good) but they make us lose confidence, or perhaps even our identities over time if we don’t tackle them head-on.

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Barriers to Resilience and Adaptation

While we all love to be resilient or adaptable, however certain factors do make it harder to be resilient and to adapt to adverse situations:

• Long-term stress, like caregiving for a chronically ill family member, an aged parent, or a child with disabilities can drain even the strongest of people.
• Without a safety net of family or friends, challenges however simple can feel overwhelming.
• Conditions like anxiety or depression impair our judgment.
• If we rigidly keep thinking that life “should” be like this or like that, it prevents growth and keeps people stuck.

Recognising these barriers is important before we even think of overcoming the challenges.

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How to Build Resilience and Adaptation

1.????? Focus on What You Can Control: Ancient philosophers have said that all challenges can be grouped under 2 categories - what we can control (like our physical body, our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and attitudes), and what we cannot control (viz. other people’s opinions, behaviours, or external events). We can only plan for controllable factors. Worrying about uncontrollable ones only creates more stress.

2.????? Learn from the Past: Reflect on any small challenges you’ve overcome before. What worked for you? What did not? Even if they are not comparable to your current worse situation, just the thought of having overcome a situation before builds confidence and belief in yourself.

3.????? Seek Support: Talk to someone you trust. Sharing struggles brings clarity and reminds you that you’re not alone. Talk to someone you know who have faced a comparable situation before – you may not do exactly as what the other person did, but you’ll get ideas. Professional counsellors or support groups can provide unbiassed perspective.

4.????? Be Open to Change: Life does not meet our expectations always. One needs to be flexible to succeed – whether it is learning new skills or taking up new roles (both personal and professional ones)

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What next?

Resilience and adaptation are life skills anyone can develop with a little practice. From Arunima Sinha climbing Everest with one leg to Jadav Payeng building a forest, there are so many stories that show how ordinary people do extraordinary things.

One can be resilient by refusing to give up, accepting one’s circumstances or by being persistent. And one can adapt by finding new ways to succeed or using the circumstances to redefine the future.

If (or when) life throws its next challenge your way, ask yourself: What can I learn? How can I get back on my feet? You have two friends now – Resilience and Adaptation – who will always be at your side.