#2 Why We Resist Change and How to Embrace It

Change, that relentless force of nature, barges into our lives like an uninvited guest, overturning comfort zones and setting fire to our carefully crafted routines.

Yet, despite its omnipresence, most of us clutch onto familiarity like a life raft in stormy seas. Why?

Because the human brain, that wonderfully paradoxical mass of neurons, equates the unknown with peril, much like a medieval peasant fearing a dragon lurking beyond the village borders.

The Neuroscience of Digging in Our Heels

Our resistance to change isn’t just a quirk—it’s hardwired into our biology. Deep within the cerebral fortress resides the amygdala, an overprotective watchdog programmed to sniff out threats.

Change, in all its ambiguous glory, sets off alarm bells, flooding our system with cortisol—the stress hormone. This neurochemical sabotage ensures we remain shackled to old habits, even if they’ve long outlived their usefulness.

Moreover, our prefrontal cortex, the more rational overseer of our actions, is a bit of a lazy bureaucrat. It prefers efficiency, and efficiency means sticking to well-trodden neural pathways rather than forging new, uncertain ones.

So, when faced with change, our brain basically groans, "Must we?"

The Comfort Zone: A Seductive Trap

Ah, the comfort zone—our personal utopia where predictability reigns supreme, and risks are as rare as a unicorn sighting.

Here, life is a smooth, unchallenged ride, and we remain blissfully stagnant, mistaking comfort for happiness.

Unfortunately, this psychological bubble wrap comes at a cost: stagnation, missed opportunities, and the slow atrophy of our potential.

Take, for instance, an employee who has spent decades in the same job, declining promotions because they fear the unknown.

Over time, their skills become outdated, and their professional growth stagnates. Or consider the friend who refuses to try new foods, missing out on the sensory joy of different cuisines simply because they prefer the familiarity of their usual meals.

These scenarios illustrate how clinging to the familiar can be as limiting as a self-imposed prison.

How to Befriend the Beast of Change

Since resisting change is about as effective as screaming at the tide to recede, we might as well make peace with it. Here’s how:

• Reframe the Narrative

Instead of viewing change as a villainous disruptor, consider it an invitation to evolve. If caterpillars feared metamorphosis, the world would be devoid of butterflies.

Studies in behavioural psychology highlight the power of cognitive reframing—by shifting our perception, we change our emotional response. For example, seeing job loss not as failure but as an opportunity for reinvention can alter one’s outlook entirely.

• Get Comfortable with Discomfort

Growth rarely happens in a state of ease. Lean into the unease, knowing it’s merely your brain throwing a tantrum.

The more you expose yourself to uncertainty, the less intimidating it becomes. Athletes embody this principle—pushing past the pain of training leads to greater endurance and strength.

• Micro-Dose Change

Start small. Introduce tiny variations into your routine—take a different route to work, switch up your coffee order, attempt to cook something that doesn’t involve a microwave.

These minor tweaks rewire your brain to adapt more fluidly to larger shifts. Behavioural studies suggest that incremental exposure to change fosters adaptability and reduces stress responses.

• Audit Your Fears

More often than not, our dread of change is a mirage, conjured by worst-case scenarios that never materialize. Ask yourself, "What’s the worst that could happen?" and then counter it with, "What’s the best that could happen?"

Psychological research shows that cognitive distortions amplify our fears, but rational reflection can dismantle them.

• Embrace the Absurdity

Life is a grand, unpredictable circus. The sooner we accept that control is a delightful illusion, the more we can roll with the punches and dance in the rain rather than cursing the storm. Comedian John Cleese once remarked that creativity thrives in uncertainty—embracing change can lead to unexpected brilliance.

The Bottom Line

Change is neither friend nor foe; it simply is.

Our resistance only prolongs the inevitable, like holding onto a sinking ship instead of grabbing a lifeboat.

The secret to a richer, more dynamic existence? Stop treating change like an enemy and start seeing it for what it truly is—a passport to new possibilities.

Consider the story of a woman who, after years of avoiding public speaking, finally took a workshop out of curiosity.

What started as a reluctant attempt led to a newfound passion for communication, ultimately transforming her career.

Or the entrepreneur who, after failing in multiple ventures, embraced each setback as a lesson rather than a defeat, eventually building a thriving business.

So, let go of the white-knuckled grip on the familiar.

Who knows?

On the other side of change, you might just meet a version of yourself that’s been waiting to be discovered.