2 Golden Ways to Appreciate Others

If you have someone in your life whose behavior drives you crazy—or, at a minimum, irritates you—you can transform your attitude into one of gratitude. Just follow this approach I learned from Dan Sullivan , Founder of Strategic Coach , in a conversation he and Joe Polish had several years ago on the 10x Talk Podcast.

Dan cited two definitions of “Appreciate” from the Oxford English Dictionary, and his interpretations brought entirely new associations to my mind.

1. Create increased value.

We often think about THINGS appreciating in value, such as real estate or stocks.

Dan extended the definition to include PEOPLE and made this connection: When you appreciate someone and express your gratitude, you actually increase their value in two ways:

• In your own mind
• In the other person’s mind as they sense the value from you of who they are and what they’re doing

2. Fully understand.

This definition has typically been used in a military setting, when scouts were sent out to fully understand or “appreciate” the battlefield and then report back.

Dan applies this to his everyday life by consciously choosing to understand the importance and value of a person he’s about to interact with.

How you can apply this…

Before meeting with the individual—whether it’s in a business or social setting—write down 8 things you’re grateful for about that person. Focus on who they are and how they act, not whether they’ve ever done anything for you.

This exercise sets you up for the conversation with two critical elements that tie in directly with the definitions above:

1) A higher sense of the person’s value

2) A much fuller understanding of how significant they are

During the interaction, you don’t talk about the individual items that are on your list, yet the person will pick up on your attitude. Your words, tone, and body language communicate to them that they are valued and valuable.

What if you took a few minutes before your next conversation and made a list of 8 things you appreciate about that person?

You can inject positive energy into any situation if you proactively apply these two definitions of appreciation to the people in your life.

Learn More

If you’d like to improve your own communication skills, including how to express appreciation, and those of other leaders in your organization, we offer two powerful resources that can help:

Connect with Your Team: Mastering the Top 10 Communication Skills, a book with practical tips and easy-to-follow steps by my business partners Denny Coates and me

GSL PowerPartners, an on-the-job leader development program to expand the effectiveness of leaders at all levels by improving 10 high-impact communication skills through peer coaching partnerships

About Meredith

Meredith Bell is the Co-founder and President of Grow Strong Leaders . Her company publishes software tools and books that help people build strong relationships at work and at home. Meredith is an expert in leader and team communications, the author of three books, and the host of the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast .

You can get details about Meredith’s products, books, and podcast at GrowStrongLeaders.com.