#2 Being Human - To Be Human Is to Feel

Dear Human,

Welcome to another edition of Being Human. This time, we delve into a fundamental aspect of our experience: our emotions. As we navigate the complex landscape of our inner world, understanding and embracing our emotions can significantly enhance our emotional health, work, and relationships.

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What Are Emotions? ??

Emotions are powerful responses that arise from our interactions with the world and our internal experiences. They are complex and multifaceted, involving physiological, cognitive, and behavioral components, and play a crucial role in navigating life’s highs and lows.

While emotions like joy and excitement are often easy to embrace, others, such as anger and fear, can feel overwhelming. Learning to acknowledge and navigate all emotions is essential for living a balanced and meaningful life.

Why Do Emotions Matter? ??

Emotions are not just reactions but important signals that provide insight into our needs and values. Developing a healthy relationship with our emotions helps build resilience, improve emotional health, and foster stronger connections with others. It allows us to approach life's challenges with greater compassion and understanding.

Our goal as humans: To build a better relationship with our emotions!

Common Myths About Emotions ??

Navigating emotions can be complicated by various myths and misunderstandings. Below are some common misconceptions that might hinder your ability to develop a healthy relationship with your emotions.

What you resist, persists. ― Carl Jung

1. Emotions are either good or bad.

We often label emotions as “good” or “bad” based on how they make us feel in the moment. For example, joy or excitement is viewed as "good," while sadness or anger is seen as "bad." However, emotions aren’t inherently good or bad—they’re simply experiences that arise in response to life events and the way we process them.

The discomfort we feel during certain emotions, like anxiety or frustration, doesn’t make those emotions bad; it signals that something important is happening within us. By seeing emotions as neutral messengers, we can better understand their role in guiding us toward greater self-awareness and insight.

?? To keep close: Just because it feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad.

2. Emotions are either positive or negative.

Our minds tend to categorize things neatly, including emotions, leading to the belief that emotions are either positive or negative. This binary thinking makes us see emotions like sadness or anger as “negative” and something to avoid, while we embrace so-called "positive" emotions like happiness.

But emotions don’t fit into such clear-cut boxes. They are complex signals providing information about our needs, values, and boundaries. When we label emotions as negative, we turn them into enemies—something to fear or suppress—when they are opportunities for growth and learning. By letting go of rigid labels, we develop a more balanced and compassionate relationship with all emotions, understanding that none are inherently “bad,” just informative.

?? To keep close: There is no such thing as a negative emotion.

3. Emotions are irrational.

Emotions are often seen as irrational, especially when they seem to contradict our thoughts or actions. For instance, you might feel anxious even when you logically know there’s no immediate danger. While emotions may not always align with our rational thinking, they are far from irrational.

Emotions are deeply rooted in our past experiences, values, and biology. For example, fear might arise to protect us from perceived threats, even when our conscious mind knows we’re safe. Emotions serve a purpose, helping us respond quickly and effectively to our environment. By understanding the reasons behind our emotional reactions—whether it’s a long-held fear or an unmet need—we gain greater clarity and insight into ourselves.

?? To keep close: Emotions are meaningful messages from our inner world.

4. Emotions need to be controlled.

The belief that emotions need to be tightly controlled or suppressed is common, especially in high-pressure environments. Many of us are taught that showing emotions like sadness or frustration makes us seem vulnerable or weak. This often leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as emotional suppression or denial.

But emotions aren’t meant to be controlled, eliminated, or pushed away—they’re meant to be experienced and understood. Learning to manage challenging emotions allows us to sit with them without feeling overwhelmed. When we stop trying to control emotions and instead work with them, we build greater emotional balance and resilience.

?? To keep close: We don’t need to control our emotions, nor do our emotions control us.

Where Do We Start in Building Our Emotional Skills? ??

1. Recognize and Name Your Emotions

Ask yourself: “What am I feeling, really?”

Recognizing and labeling emotions with clarity helps you understand your emotional landscape. This awareness allows you to respond intentionally rather than reacting impulsively.

Emotional Granularity—the ability to identify and name emotions with precision—is key. Tools like The Feelings Wheel (developed by Dr. Gloria Willcox) can help you dig deeper and pinpoint exactly what you’re experiencing. By naming your emotions clearly, you gain a greater sense of connection, empowerment, and control.

?? Remember: Name it to tame it!

2. Make Space for Your Emotions

Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling without judgment. Acceptance means letting your emotions be there as they are, without trying to push them away or change them. Recognize when you're feeling overwhelmed, sad, or anxious, and simply sit with the emotion. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable.?

When you allow emotions to exist without resistance, you create space between the emotion and your response. This fosters emotional flexibility and helps reduce the intensity of challenging feelings over time. By doing this, you free up mental energy to focus on what truly matters. ??

3. Values-Based Action

When emotions feel overwhelming, focusing on values-based actions can keep you grounded. It helps you stay connected to what’s most important, providing direction and clarity even in emotionally charged moments. Acting based on your core values—like kindness, honesty, or patience—helps guide you through emotional challenges.

?? Ask yourself:

• What’s really important to me right now?
• What do I want to stand for in this moment?

A Closing Thought ??

To be human is to feel deeply.

Embrace your emotions as they come, for they are a vital part of your human experience. By understanding and integrating them, you’ll experience more fulfillment and satisfaction and build a more meaningful connection with yourself and others.

With empathy and understanding,

Roxana

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