1st 6 of 12 lessons in 25 years

This year has seen me hit 25 years in the recruitment industry and, ConnectedGroup also celebrates a quarter of a century of operations.

With these milestones in mind, I have been reflecting on what I have learned both in business and in my personal life (and the blurred line in between). I'm sharing it here in 2 articles (one to follow next week) and, hopefully, some of it will resonate. I would love to hear your own insights as I continue to learn new things.

1. Family first. 'Family' means many things. Not just our relatives, children and spouse, but our close friends and even our pets fall into this category. It's easy to prioritise other things - justifying it on the basis that you are building a better life - but ultimately, each day, each experience, IS your life. That feeling that 'things will be better/easier when...', doesn't go away. You just have to stop and appreciate what you have to truly gain perspective.
2. Stay curious. Henry Ford said, “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” Today, the opportunities to learn new things are almost overwhelming but, it starts with an open mind. I'm still excited to learn new things and these experiences can sometimes change the direction of your life, even in your later years.
3. Keep your self image flexible. When you learn new things, it can challenge your view of who you are. If you remain open to changing your view of yourself, then you can more easily evolve and adapt as the world changes around you. Surrounding yourself with people who are unafraid to give you candid feedback will make this easier. It's never too late to be the you that you want to be but, you will have to embrace the uncomfortable truths along the way.
4. Speak to yourself with kindness. A career coach once asked me to describe how I talked to myself when I felt I was falling short. She listened and then asked how I would feel if I had a manager who talked to me the same way (not good!). It was a stunning moment and, whilst the change wasn't instant, the more I have learned to cut myself some slack, the better my life has been. I am now attuned to hear this in others and try to pass on the same advice.
5. The obstacle is the way. The book of the same title by Ryan Holiday helped me to consolidate this way of thinking. His guide to the teachings of stoicism bring to life the concept of seeing opportunity in adversity. The faster you can move from seeing the problem to accepting it, the faster and more effectively you can move through it. This is different to just 'never giving up' because, repeatedly running at an issue without acceptance doesn't always lead to a solution. As an extension of this, it is also about knowing that persistence as a trait needs to be sustainable. Understanding when to rest and return refreshed is therefore critical.
6. Have a clear purpose. In Victor Frankl's 'A Man's Search for Meaning' he says “in some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning". In other words, 'embracing the suck' only works when you have a well defined purpose. Just as organisations need a purpose statement, you also need guiding principles that will help you make decisions and navigate life. Keep true to your purpose and values, and tough decisions become easier to make. There is a good reason Frankl is often quoted in business and leadership writing.

I hope there is something in here that you find interesting and I look forward to you sharing your own lessons and insights. I'll share the other half next week.

I can always be reached at [email protected] and try my best to give time to people who want to discuss talent and career strategies, not for profit initiatives and board effectiveness in particular.