18 Life Lessons for 18 Years of Life

It finally came —?my eighteenth birthday. It almost didn't feel real...maybe for starters because I've always been mistaken for being 21 since I was 16, but it's real I'm officially a legal adult. I can vote, buy a drink, and even lose a little money at the casino. Adulthood - something I've felt has been my life for most of my teens, is now a reality.

I haven't even been on Earth for two decades but I like to think that I have worked to accomplish many things I can be proud of. I've started two of my own businesses, traveled to various countries, and met amazing people along the way.

The real question is what have I learned these past eighteen years? What knowledge has allowed me to somehow get to adulthood?

The mistakes I have made (many, many, mistakes) have allowed me to learn even more lessons. Life's best lessons are generally learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes, so here are 18 years and 18 lessons.

1. Seek Discomfort

I came across the YouTube channel Yes Theory when I was 14 years old. Little did I realize how much this channel would change my life. A group of friends set out to live their lives through the lens of adventure and uncertainty. They lived by a motto, "seek discomfort".

I resonated with this motto so deeply that today I have it tattooed on my arm. To seek discomfort is to live in a world where our fears no longer control us, we begin to breathe with the intent of living and not simply surviving.

Without seeking discomfort, I would not have uncovered the deepest layers of myself, the true person at the core of my being. To seek discomfort is to push the boundaries of us as individuals and approach the world in a more positive, free, and adventurous way.

2. Love Over Fear

The world is a challenging environment, from learning to walk to mustering up the courage to ask the girl across the class out. We are creatures that possess various fears and often these fears are what hold us back.

At every turn we must choose love over fear, to love ourselves, to love those around us, and even to love what scares us. Because love is what holds us together when the world around us is falling apart.

To Love Over Fear is to prioritize the good in the world and embrace what scares us to help us grow rather than to set us back.

3. Complacency is a Silent Killer

As a young child, I always thought I would one day know exactly what I wanted to do. It is what we are taught, go to school, figure out what we want to do, and practice that for the rest of our life.

Someone once told me that if you don't know what you want to do for the rest of your life then you will never go anywhere. I have come to realize this is anything but true. To do one thing for the rest of your life is unreasonable and will never result in finding happiness or purpose.

Being young, I am lucky that I can explore new things and take interest in new passions. To become complacent in one mindset, in one idea, and in one path, is what hinders growth, knowledge, and success. It is adaptability and change that pushed the human race to where it is today so don't become complacent in anything. Strive for more, strive for different, strive for better.

“Success can lead to complacency, and complacency is the greatest enemy of success.” - Brian Tracy

4. Seek Purpose not Money

As a young entrepreneur, seeking an opportunity that will pay out the best buck was always the most appealing and even today I sometimes forget this lesson.

To chase opportunity simply for money will never pay out. We all believe success is the money in our bank account but we overlook other factors of success. Happiness, passion, and motivation are all other factors of success.

After burning out and compromising my mental health, my relationships, and my opinion on success, I finally realized money is not success. Leading a life in the pursuit of money will simply hold you back as money is only a catalyst in this world. It's when we lead our lives with a purpose that we notice that success is really a plethora of different things.

Purpose is your driver, the money will follow but lead with what you believe your purpose is, and if you don't know, well lead with the intent of defining purpose and not seeking it in simply the form of monetary gain.

5. Taking breaks is vital

I have never liked taking breaks. I saw it as a weakness because, well...what successful person isn't working 24/7/365? Turns out none of them work like that because our bodies need breaks.

Trying to work 5 straight hours each day, and only eating or recharging at the end of the day is definitely no way of accomplishing anything. Our mind needs the ability to rest and recoup just as we do each and every night.

I've always been resistant to this idea, and the people in my life can definitely testify to this. However, I have learned that my resistance to this is really only hindering my productivity further. Now I make sure to prioritize breaks, in my daily work and through my long-term goals. Rest, recharge, rise.

6. Prioritize Sleep

Okay, we've all had days, maybe even weeks where sleep is the last thing on our minds. We only have 24 hours in a day to complete 25 hours of work. I am someone who loves to get to work when everyone is sleeping and sometimes that meant working till 3 am and starting up again at 7 am. Well...4 hours is definitely not enough sleep for a growing teenager.

I now make sure I get at least 7 hours a night because if not my body does not respond well. I am erratic and unproductive and this is not a recipe for success. Not to mention the immense benefits that sleep has. Our minds are sharper and we become more productive in shorter intervals.

Sleeping has become my getaway, where anything is possible and I am no longer worrying about the past, present, and future. Our minds need to rest and so prioritizing sleep is extremely important for our well-being.

7. Put Yourself Out in the World

We all believe the scariest thing to be hearing is the word "no". Because of this, our brains automatically decide to not put ourselves in the world because we fear rejection.

There have been so many occasions where I almost didn't put myself out there, simply because I feared hearing the dreaded "no". From asking out a Fortune 500 CEO to lunch to speaking to a group of young people I hoped to inspire. Instead of letting fear settle in, I asked and put myself out in the world, and guess what? The answer was yes almost all the time.

Always ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen? Because 99% of the time there is only an upside. Being young you have the chance to fail, but if you don't allow yourself to, you will never succeed.

8. Perfection Doesn't Exist

No person is perfect and the idea of perfection is far from possible. Perfection is an idea we build in our heads. I would always create this image of what something would look like if it were perfect, I would strive for that, but what I learned is every time I got closer to the idea it only seemed further out of reach. My brain would change the idea of perfect because we can never see something as perfect.

Perfection is more about defining how we can do our best, not about striving for some unachievable standard. When I'm doing anything I always try to strive for perfection, but sometimes that just prevents me from actually doing anything due to the high pressure and standard around it.

What I've learned is progression is perfection. Without trying and moving even a small step forward you will never accomplish anything. It's not about being perfect it's about making progress.

9. Honesty Is The Best Policy

Everyone’s heard the cliche phrase “honesty is the best policy”. I heard it for the first time in grade one, but just. like many of us, sometimes bending the truth can avoid various issues.

However, lying will always find a way back to you. Telling the truth is owning your reality and situation, we sometimes lie to escape our reality or wiggle out of situations. This never really works and rather than sorting out the root of our problems we hide behind a false truth. Let your truth out and you'll be more relieved than you know. An atmosphere of trust with others also goes a long way.

10. Your People are Your Success

I never believed that we are a representation of the people we surround ourselves with. In junior high, I would surround myself around the popular kids, the ones that seemed the most attractive at the moment. It didn't matter what they did; bully another kid, spread rumors, or resort to ethically questionable practices. Well, I came to realize I was slowly becoming complicit and changing my values to "fit in".

The people in our lives influence our views, beliefs, and morals. These are factors that shape success and growth. Sometimes it's hard to accept that a relationship has caused us to drift from our roots, it's not fun to realize a relationship is toxic. Doing the hard thing and ending those toxic relationships that are really causing us to develop toxic relationships with ourselves is what lets us grow.

It’s true that we become similar to the people we are the closest to — so if I want to be ambitious and courageous then I should surround myself with more ambitious and courageous people.

11. Give Back to Others

I grew up as an Ismaili Muslim and one of the greatest pillars of our community is service - seva. From the age of 5, I began volunteering in my local Mosque, from cleaning tables to helping seniors. The value of giving back to others has been a great influence throughout my entire life.

When you support others you notice that you gain 10x what you gave, and although not always monetary, the rewards are greater than money. Giving to a charity or volunteering my time has taught me so much. Through volunteerism, I have developed my core values, learned about the struggles of others, and become passionate to continue helping others.

You never know when things could take a turn and you may need help from those around you. Don't wait till tomorrow to share your blessings. Helping others will help you equally if not substantially more.

12. Embrace Opposition

From the time we are born to the end of our lives we are shaped by perspective and opinion that formulates our worldview. As someone who grew up as a minority in a middle-class family from an urban Canadian city, my view of the world would be very different from someone born into poverty across the world, or even someone living in the countryside.

Sometimes I forget that others have a very different outlook on the world and just because it's different doesn't mean it is wrong. Often we judge others on their views and beliefs, yet they have simply been shaped by their circumstances.

Rather than judging, I've found the best way to broaden our own worldview is to understand and listen to the perspectives of others. That could mean being super left-leaning and hearing the perspectives of an extremely right-wing conservative. Conversation and educating others while still educating yourself is what creates a kinder society and more progressive society. Don't close your mind to other worldviews because it is critical for you to grow and continue learning.

A shift in perspective opens a completely new set of unlimited possibilities.” – Satsuki Shibuya??

13. Always Seek Knowledge

I've always had a tough relationship with school. Grade 6 was really the year that shifted my view on school to a negative connotation. I was dealt a teacher that was discriminatory towards people of color, a system that believed one method of teaching applied to all and was never told to achieve higher than what was believed to be possible. To this day, I still struggle with the idea of school, sitting in a classroom, and learning one thing that doesn't interest me.

Over the years though I have come to appreciate education in many forms. School is super important, don't get me wrong, you may never use physics again but you will use the problem-solving skills that helped you get that A. Education extends beyond school as well, working, meeting new people, learning a new skill, all of these are forms of education.

Knowledge is a lifelong endeavor and for the longest time, I believed that school was the only way to receive an education. The moral of this is that, even if you didn't do well in school or enjoy classes, that doesn't mean you stop seeking knowledge. Learning is a lifelong process and it helps us grow our minds, our bodies, and our perspectives. Never stop learning and never stop believing that education is limited to a classroom.

14. Authenticity over Conformity

Don't we all feel so much better when we are our true selves? Maybe you have to put on a show at work but when you get home is when you can be the silly, goofy, relaxed version of yourself. Or maybe like me, you try changing small parts of yourself because you fear what others may think or how will others perceive you.

I personally feel the best when I’m not trying to hide who I am and the right people come when I’m being authentically myself. What matters most is doing what makes the most sense in our lives. We are told to speak a certain way or act a certain way and although this may be true, it should never change our roots.

It’s hard to be unapologetically yourself because it’s easy to worry about what other people think. It's ingrained in us that we want to feel like we fit in, but what we forget is when we are authentically ourselves our fit in society finds us not the other way around.

15. Kindness is Free

A few months back I was walking on the street while looking at my phone when suddenly a man taps me on the shoulder. "I love your outfit and you have inspired my next fit, wanted to share that with you, have an amazing day", this was along the lines of what the man said to me. It didn't matter that I didn't know him, his kindness and effort left a mark on me.

You remember when someone is kind and simply a genuine human no matter the constraints of society. This man could've never said anything out of fear or anxiety, but instead, he made a day brighter. That mark of positivity is even more beneficial on those days when you’re feeling down and your worldview has become a discouraging gray cloud.

Someone’s generosity can be the cure for your blue disposition. When your mood elevates, that pessimism promptly becomes optimism. The world is thriving and you’re once again happy. So next time you get the chance to compliment someone's outfit or pay a coffee forward, don't shy away.

16. Take Care of Your Health

Take care of your health, everyone says that; eat healthy, don't eat too much, work out, stay busy, not too busy though. Sometimes trying to stay healthy becomes unhealthy. I always see these fit and "healthy" people on TikTok and because society has told me I have to look like them, that's what I do.

I go to the gym, eat healthy, take mental breaks, practice meditation, drink green juice, etc. These are all great things and super important but sometimes I want to eat a burger instead of a salad or watch Netflix instead of going to the gym and that is all right.

Health is balance. Striking a balance between staying healthy and staying mentally sane. So go to the gym, and don't forget to eat healthy but prioritize mental health equally. It's okay to take a break and it's okay to eat "unhealthy foods", as long as you strike balance.

17. Be Grateful

"To be happy is to be grateful". This common saying seems to try to teach people that they should be grateful for everything around them. Being grateful is the source of happiness right? Well, I wrote down everything I am grateful for and I'm still not "happy", now what?

What worked for me was not writing down everything I'm grateful for but rather choosing one specific thing that brought me joy during the day. For example, when I go into the fridge over 100 times in a day (yes...really a hundred times) I remember that I am grateful that my fridge is stocked so I can fuel my constant hunger.

I still haven’t felt that intense rush of joy that some people talk about; however, finding little pockets of gratitude every once in a while adds a sense of peacefulness to the chaos happening around me.

18. Change the World Before it Changes You

No, this doesn't mean you have to go solve world hunger tomorrow or fix the climate crisis before lunch. We all have ambitions and goals and whether we understand it, the impacts of even the smallest things we contribute have a ripple effect throughout the world. For example, the man selling newspapers on the road; well for every person, he sold a paper to, is one more person in the world more educated. The little girl selling lemonade, every person who drinks that lemonade will be less thirsty.

Your thought is how is this changing the world...changing the world is whatever you believe is the impact you wish to leave on the world. To change the world is to pursue your purpose and leave it to impact those around you. If you don't do what you want to impact the world, well that is how we lose our purpose and let the world change us. If we never act on our purpose then it becomes lost to our former selves.

Change the world in whatever that means to you before the world changes you.

Did any of these lessons resonate with you? If you could tell your 18-year-old self something, what would it be?

I'd love to hear from you - DM me @tahirnatha or email [email protected]