18 Keys to be at your Self-Confident Best in 2023

Wish everyone a happy and prosperous new year. As 2023 dawns on us we all want to feel more self-confident. However tough the last 3 years might have been we can make a fresh start in 2023. Of course we should acknowledge that the last 3 years have been tough on a lot of fronts. This is a great time to re-calibrate our priorities. Self-confidence is wonderful quality strongly correlated with success. A lot of times we see people who are highly successful and it is a direct result of their self-confidence. It is not something that you just have when you are born but rather it is something internalized after years of hard work and proving your competence in your area of expertise.

?Here are the 18 ways I have identified to become a more self-confident person.?

Keep track of your accomplishments?- Everyone has had success at?some point in life either in school, extracurricular activities or college. Write down every single achievement you have ever had right from your start. This can be anything from learning a language, learning a sport, or academic achievements. This will give you a good start on your journey towards increasing self-confidence. Some authors advise to have a victory log of all your accomplishments and looking at this daily increases your self-confidence.?The other thing you can do is to write down all your victories from 2022. I keep a track of my victories in the Evernote app and look at it to get more confident. Keep tracking your victories and it will enable you to reach further while celebrating how far you have come.

Celebrate your strengths?- Write down all your strengths that you can think of. It could be self-discipline, honesty, friendliness, courage etc. This boosts your self-esteem and confidence. It gives you a track to run on. A lot of us haven’t taken the time to understand where our strengths lie. Some tools like Strengths Finder 2.0 are great and get to the heart of this task. Once you know your strengths and concentrate on those your self-confidence soars. Everyone has some unique strength and understanding where your strengths lie is the key to get your self-confidence up. It is also the key to your personal growth. At work focus on your strengths and complement your weakness by delegating those tasks to others who are stronger in those areas. Peter Drucker and Marcus Buckingham have all said to work on your strengths. This way you can get better at what you are already good at.

Set some career goals?- A lack of self-confidence can also be due to a lack of direction in your career. Setting some long-term goals for your career will surely energize you and boost your self-confidence. The fact that you have a vision forces you to think positive and creates a rush of endorphins and propels you forward. Breaking down those long-term goals into 90 day increments is another great step towards becoming more self-confident. On the side setting some personal goals and achieving those also result in greater self-confidence.?So take a journal and design the ideal 2023 with some goals that will get your juices flowing. I actually think having goals is better than resolutions which is more trying to stop something than actually going for what you want.

Study your job description?-?A well prepared mind gives confidence. Learn everything about your job and the expectations before stepping onto the playing field and your confidence will sky rocket. When you align your day to day activities with the overall objectives that you have been hired to accomplish you will be on the fast track in your career. When you know with acute clarity on what is expected of you and prepare accordingly your confidence will?be enhanced.

Read books in your area of expertise?-?Being the most well-read person increases self-confidence. Now with the internet you can get access to the masters in your field much easier than at any point in history.?Read their blogs, listen to their podcasts, document what you have learnt and share it with your network. Other books like Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, How to Win friends and Influence people, The Magic of Thinking BIG, and Linchpin are great starting points in the quest for better skills, strategies and confidence.?Some recent books I read are Hot Seat, The Heart of Business, Impact Players, Winning Now Winning Later, Decoding Greatness, CEO Excellence, The Earned Life, The Power of Regret and Hearts Touched with Fire. Another great book you should check out is From paycheck to purpose and of course my all time favorite The Ride of a Lifetime.

Associate with confident people?-?When you seek out people who are confident that would rub off on you and your confidence will improve. There is a lot of talk about emotional contagion which basically means we become like the people whom we associate with. So having confident role models and spending time with them will increase the qualities making you a more self-confident person.?

Go the extra mile?- In your work it is critical to put your best foot forward and keep showing your colleagues, boss and all other stake holders the?hunger you have to succeed. If you put in the time and effort, results will be inevitable. Your self-confidence will automatically improve as you are on the extra mile and doing better than others. I think this saying has a lot of merit "When you do more than you are paid for eventually you will?be?paid more than you are currently." As they say there is no traffic jam on the extra mile.

Believe in yourself when no one else does?-?When you start off it is unlikely that others will have confidence in you till the results come. It is in this stretch of life that you should have immense belief in yourself and never give up. You can be down but never stay down. There are so many examples of people overcoming adversity study those who have overcome adversity and revel in your skills/powers. The bottom line is if you have faith in your abilities and develop grit then you will be a self-confident person.?

Stay committed to your long term vision?-?The most important step for self-confidence is commitment. You need to be committed to your life, career and everything that happens to you. You are the CEO of your life so take bold, audacious decisions and stay focused on your growth. Your self-confidence will soar and you will see victory at the end. If you have a long term vision it will propel you in-spite of your setbacks.?Decide how your life will look in 5 years time and that is the best way to define your vision. Of course if you can fast forward to 2043 and then clearly state how you want your life to look that would be a great vision to march towards and understand what is truly important to you.

Stop worrying about what others think?- You can only control your thoughts so don’t second guess yourself. Put your best foot forward, pick up when you make mistakes, and act confident. As someone said what others think of you is none of your business. This is a wonderful quote from?Henry David Thoreau?“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he?will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” You can only control what you think so just focus on what you want to get done in 2023 and take daily action towards that. The rest of the things will take care of itself.

Never compare yourself to others?- A lack of self-confidence sometimes stems from the fact that we don't feel good enough when we compare with others. The only way to overcome this is to totally be comfortable with yourself. Appreciate your uniqueness and don't be worried if it is different from what others have. Be appreciative of all the wonderful qualities you possess. There will always be people who have more money, better looks but comparisons never help. Appreciate what you have and be comfortable with yourself.

Stay grateful?-?A lack of self-confidence can also stem from a lack of something. Sometimes we may want a bigger house, better income and so many other things we don't have. The best way to overcome this is to make a list of everything you are grateful for. Write this down and look at it daily. For example you can write all the positive things you are happy about your job. Just this shift in mindset will help you stay confident that things are good as it is. This doesn't mean you don't go for more it just means being happy where you are while you strive for your next summit.

Public speaking?- A lack of self-confidence may also stem from an inability to communicate your thoughts successfully to others. The more you improve your communication skills the more confident you become. If you are afraid of public speaking take up a course on it. This doesn't necessarily mean you are going to give speeches but the ability to get your ideas is critical to increase your self-confidence and move forward in your career. Talk like Ted is a wonderful book on this topic.

High Self-efficacy?- A lack of self-confidence may also stem from an inability to believe in yourself. There was a study published in 1977 by Bandura titled "Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change." The basic thesis was to identify the difference between the people who achieve their goals versus those fail to achieve their goals. The key finding which can give us a deja vu feeling is the successful people all believed they had the necessary skills to achieve their goals. The key finding was "People with high assurance in their capabilities approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered than threats to be avoided." If we follow all the methods I have mentioned in this article you will have high self-efficacy. Once you have a high self-efficacy you will take more initiative to accomplish all your goals.

Have a personal mission statement?- A lack of self-confidence may also stem from lack of a strong purpose for your life. Without a purpose you will not have the passion to get up every day with enthusiasm. The best way to overcome this is to create a personal mission statement for your life. You can do this by clearly defining what you want your life to stand for, writing what you want your eulogy to say and revisiting this on a regular basis. Once you align your life according to your personal mission defined by you your confidence will soar. I defined my personal mission statement back in 2010 as "I want to maximise my potential and help others maximise theirs." This has kept me enthusiastic and energetic most of the time. It has also led me to read a number of books and write my articles across various topics to help people get to their best. So take some time and define your personal mission statement for your life.

Define your success?- A lack of self-confidence may also stem from not defining what success really means to you. There are a lot of external influences which sometimes make us feel inadequate and the best way to overcome this is to clearly articulate what success means to you. It is not for us to decide if someone is successful or not. The only choice we have is to determine if we are successful against the standards and definition we set for ourselves. If we attain success against the definition we set for ourselves then we are a success period. We owe it to ourselves to define what success will be for us and take daily steps to move in that direction.?

Emotional Granularity?- I came across in the latest bestseller from Brene Brown "Atlas of the Heart." She says our ability to accurately recognize and label emotions can make us communicate and feel better about ourselves. The people who have this skill are much better at managing the different accepts of life including downtimes hence increasing their self confidence. So make sure your emotional vocabulary supports you as you play your best game as a human being. Harvard psychologist Susan David says "Learning to label emotions with a more nuanced vocabulary can be absolutely transformative." Another emotion that can keep your confidence is to engage in deliberate gratitude and stay in a state of appreciation. What you appreciate does appreciate more and you will feel better when you are grateful with what you have while you strive for your summit.

Deliberate practice?- Finally you will be more confident if you practice your craft daily. As the word deliberate practice has become popular it is prudent you identify the areas of excellence in your chosen profession and then engage in some form of practice daily. There is no magic formula for success but one thing is sure your odds of success do increase if you engage in daily practice. You can decide which area you want to learn and then collect all the books in that area to learn more about it. If it is a sport you are learning you can practice the specifics like dribbling or working on your backhand. So find the key metrics that matter in your area of expertise and engage in deliberate practice. This will increase your confidence to perform better. The best books I like on this topic is Talent is Overrated and Decoding Greatness.

There you have it the 18 ways to develop rock solid self-confidence. Remember self-confidence is a quality that must be developed?if we?want to achieve all the goals that we?have set for?ourselves.

Thanks for reading this post and wish you a great 2023.?

The views expressed in this article are my own and do not represent my organization