#17 - Your heart: broken or hard?

Near the end of our lives, most of us will lie down on a bed of suffering for a while before we fall all the way down.

If we cared at all, if we were idealists pursuing a vision that brings good to the world and those who live after us, our hearts would be broken many times over. Perhaps people who love us will surround us and bring care during our suffering. Maybe they will tell others what we meant to them as so many did for?my first wife, Lorie, now gone these eight years.

If you don't care and approach life as if all exists for you, you likely will die alone. Perhaps some will wish you to die sooner. Maybe they will remain nearby, hoping that even more of your estate will flow to them.

Which will it be? Hard-hearted or broken-hearted?

What surrounds you at the end will broadcast your lifetime's choice.

(Going deeper) Labor Day 2023 marked the eighth anniversary of Lorie's death after a sixteen-year battle with leiomyosarcoma. Her previously unpublished thoughts on resilience were recently posted on her Facebook memorial page in honor of her memory.

The principle underneath this is a truth we individually struggle to embrace.

(1) Embrace the possibility of loving relationships. Be the one who offers unrequited hospitality and love that may not be returned. Better to risk wounds than to inflict them.

—OR—

(2) Assume everyone is a threat. Live the Machiavellian way. Be the one who pushes their way to the front. Be the one who uses others, wounding them rather than being wounded. Better to be feared than a friend.

Expressing this principle more simply: Our end will reveal whether we lived by unconditional positive regard or conditional suspicioned contempt.

To try to do some of both and have a foot in each camp makes one's approach conditional and suspicioned by default. The muck and mire in the conditional and suspicioned camp suck at your boots, trap you, then leave you stranded.

In my backpack:?Uprooted, by Naomi Novik

Rich characters, deep friendship, a tale of coming into one's self, and a broader and wiser understanding of the world in which one lives. As one who often reads books in snatches, I was mesmerized, not wanting my reading interrupted.

A regarded fantasy writer with numerous works, Ms. Novik is a wizard of the narrative, able to hold her readers.

An Executive Advisor walking alongside accomplished executives in the third turn of their careers, Mark L. Vincent, Ph.D., EPC, loves leaders who love leaders.

In his own Third Turn, Mark continues to grow his capacity for wise advising, artful facilitation, and public presentation.

Mark is part of the Mygrow North American team. He has founded?Maestro-level leaders,?Design Group International,?and the?Society for Process Consulting and authored a number of books, including Listening Helping Learning.