17 AI prompts to fake your way until new year’s day

I am sick and tired of all those blogs that I come across as part of my scavenging hunt for ideas that I can force feed down your throats as if I am fattening you up for Christmas’ foie gras. And all those blogs are promising me untold riches with a just a few ChatGPT prompts. And we aaaall know by now that these are just bogus prompts and that it’s just for clickbait.

OMG! There is even a freaking "prompt marketplace" out there.

Do you think for a minute that this kind of "advice" holds any real value? What would you do if you were sitting on the goose with the golden prompts? I would keep them to myself of course! And these guys just want to show off, because they want you to think they have a clue as to how ChatGPT works, and they probably sell their soul as a "prompt engineer".

Same Guy:

Q.E.D.

But what if I tell you that you CAN make use of prompts to improve your life.

And even more specific...

Use prompts to get paid, and sleep at the same time!

What I am talking about is, not setting up some sketchy business operation, or building a microSaaS nobody wants (except for this kid: A 17 yo brat created a $1M/month app. Here’s how he did it. | LinkedIn).

No, instead I am talking about the most uninteresting yet important (because it funds your OF addition) pastime activity of the day, namely: WORK.

So I thought I'd give you a little peek into 17 of my ChatGPT and Claude prompts that I use to pretend that I am working… while I am secretly dozing off, thinking of, well….figure it out yourself.

But before I go, remember: the key is not to actually do anything, it is to look like you’re doing everything.

For some of these prompts to work, you need either ChatGPT, or better yet, Claude cause it can do a better job at pretending to analye shit, and in some cases a Python tool. No need to install anything though. Just visit PythonAnywhere and off you go. No need to understand coding, cause it will work.

And oh yeah, always ask ChatGPT or Claude to visualize the output.

Let’s go!

But first, ze commercials.

If you like this article and you want to support me:

1. Comment, or share the article; that will really help spread the word ??
2. Connect with me on Linkedin ??
3. Subscribe to TechTonic Shifts to get your daily dose of tech ??
4. TechTonic Shifts has a new blog, full of rubbish you will like !

So, off we go... 17 prompts to fake your way till new years day !

1. The flowchart to nowhere

This one is for all the process-obsessed optimists out there who believe that a flowchart can fix what is fundamentally broken. We all know that it can’t. But with enough colors and buzzwords, you can convince anyone that you are on the brink of revolutionizing mediocrity.

Prompt: "Generate a complex-looking flowchart for optimizing [random business process]. Use words like synergy, alignment, and value stream".

What It Looks Like: A chaotic web of colorful arrows leading to meaningless terms like “Collaboration Nexus” and “Value Amplification Hub.” Looks intricate enough to warrant a Nobel Prize in corporate nonsense.

Here you go!

Ain’t it a beaut!

2. The code that pretends to work

This one’s for the coders - hi Aleksey Malankin - the misfits, the who believe that as long as it looks like code, it is code, and above all: the dreamers. Because no one’s actually running this. It is your job is to dazzle them with syntax, and not substance. Add enough comments to seem thoughtful, and voilà, you’re a programming savant comparing life to a box of chocolates.

Prompt: "Write 50 lines of clean, well-commented Python code that solves a random optimization problem."

Nobody will dare question you. They will assume it’s genius.

And if they DO question you? Run the code in ChatGPT (or the IDE of your choice) and it will vomit seemingly meaningful gibberish.

What it looks like when run:

This stuff is pretty enough to keep your reputation up in the eyes of your non-coder “managers”.

3. The Gantt chart of forgotten projects

This one is for all you project managers - hi Mohammad H MJ Ahmed, PMP Certified, CPIM, MBA ??- who are clinging to timelines like little monkeys do to their mother’s breasts. But deep down, you know that all these tasks will never be completed, but the beauty of the Gantt chart is that nobody else has to know. Just keep adding more phases and dependencies.

Confusion equals credibility.

Prompt: "Create a Gantt chart with 20 tasks spread over 6 months for a strategic initiative."

What It Looks Like: An intricate Gantt chart that is showing overlapping things like “Synergy Optimization” and “Stakeholder Engagement”. Bonus points if you throw in a “Phase 3 Recalibration” that nobody understands.

So, here is the Gantt chart. It is a beautiful mess of timelines and tasks. It has got overlapping phases, and ambiguous milestones, and just enough complexity to convince the rest that you’re orchestrating something monumental.

4. The trend whisperer

Now this one is for the data “enthusiasts” out there (who ever claims to be enthusiastic about data is a Pinocchio on LSD) who believe the right plot can tell any story - hi Simon Au-Yong ??. Even if its a fictional one. Scatter a few dots, slap on a regression line, and let the upward trend lie to anyone that is foolish enough to believe it. Because in the world of analytics, perception trumps reality every time.

Prompt: "Design a scatterplot with meaningless but realistic data trends. Include a regression line with an R2 value."

What it looks like: A scatterplot titled “Engagement vs. Disruption,” where dots form an upward trend to suggest “positive alignment”.. whatever that means. Don’t forget the tagline: “Data never lies… but I do”.

The chart shows some meaningless data trends, and of course a bold regression line with a suspiciously high R2 value. This will not only convince your boss you are working, but also guarantee your promotion to data scientist manager.

5. The script that fabricates truth

This one is for the sys admin automation enthusiasts among us - hi Juul van Kessel - who think a well-written script can solve any problem, or at least create the illusion that it does. The beauty of this is that nobody actually runs it. It just sits there, and it is looking functional, as you bask in the glow of imagined productivity.

Prompt: "Generate a script for automating a mundane office task (e.g., sending daily email summaries)."

You need to have Python installed and Flask and need an IDE to run Python, but if you don’t know what that is, this ain’t for you anyway.

Here’s what it would look like:

If you use the anywhere thingy, you can run the script locally: https://127.0.0.1:5000

The best part is that it doesn’t actually do anything, just like you at your job.

6. The algorithm that promises everything and solves nothing

This one is for the techies who can sell a dream but can’t code a reality - hi Peter Went. So the challenge is to have your AI buddy craft you a pseudocode outline that is so abstract and revolutionary that it sounds like it could up the margin by 20 points, but don’t include a single executable line. After all, algorithms are just promises written in logic, and nobody expects you to keep a promise.

Prompt: "Write a pseudocode outline for a groundbreaking algorithm."

# Example of a simple algorithm that can be run and visualized in ChatGPT

import numpy as np
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt

# Define the algorithm: Sort and analyze a dataset
def analyze_dataset(data):
    """
    Sorts the dataset, computes basic statistics, and generates a histogram.

    Parameters:
        data (list or array): A list of numerical values.

    Returns:
        dict: Contains sorted data, mean, median, and standard deviation.
    """
    sorted_data = sorted(data)
    mean = np.mean(data)
    median = np.median(data)
    std_dev = np.std(data)
    
    return {
        "sorted_data": sorted_data,
        "mean": mean,
        "median": median,
        "std_dev": std_dev
    }

# Generate a random dataset
np.random.seed(42)
data = np.random.randint(1, 100, size=50)

# Run the algorithm
results = analyze_dataset(data)

# Visualize the results: Histogram
plt.figure(figsize=(10, 6))
plt.hist(data, bins=10, color='skyblue', edgecolor='black', alpha=0.7)
plt.axvline(results["mean"], color='red', linestyle='--', label=f'Mean: {results["mean"]:.2f}')
plt.axvline(results["median"], color='green', linestyle='--', label=f'Median: {results["median"]:.2f}')
plt.title("Data Distribution and Analysis", fontsize=16, fontweight='bold', color='darkblue')
plt.xlabel("Value", fontsize=12)
plt.ylabel("Frequency", fontsize=12)
plt.legend(fontsize=10)
plt.grid(axis='y', linestyle='--', alpha=0.7)
plt.tight_layout()

# Save and display the visualization
plt.savefig("/mnt/data/data_analysis_visual.png")
plt.show()

# Return the textual results
results

        

Either leave it on your screen to look like you know how to code, or run it in PythonAnywhere and be baffled:

Because this is what it would look like (but with animation):

You’ll look like you’re solving world hunger when all you’ve done is invent glorified gibberish.

And it you want to be really, really cool, you can ask ChatGPT to animate this as well. Run it in your Python IDE

7. The dashboard that nobody understands

This one’s for the metrics maniacs who believe numbers alone can save us all - hi Endre Davids . Fill the screen with cryptic KPIs, ambiguous percentages, and a few colorful graphs that scream important. It doesn’t matter if the metrics are made up—nobody’s going to question a dashboard they can’t decipher.

Prompt: "Mock up a KPI dashboard in text form with made-up metrics and make it visually stunning."

• Engagement Delta: +34%
• Conversion Leakage: -12%
• Alignment Quotient: 76%

What it looks like:

Looks fancy enough to impress the CEO while meaning absolutely nothing.

Just the way you intended it to be.

8. The agile smoke screen

This on is for the Agile beliebers - hi Judith van Hoof - who think that Jira boards are the modern-day Tower of Babel. so, go forth and populate it with vague tasks, endless blockers, and just enough fake progress to keep the illusion alive. It’s not about delivering results you know. It’s all about looking busy while drowning in jargon.

Prompt: "Simulate project updates in a fake Agile sprint on a mock Jira board."

• To Do: “Reassess stakeholder synergy”
• In Progress: “Refactor the innovation matrix” and “Align cross-functional KPIs”
• Blocked: “Awaiting input from imaginary client”
• Done: “Draft Agile manifesto addendum”

What it looks like:

Sprinkle in nonsensical sprint goals like “Deliver stakeholder happiness” and let the smoke screen obscure the fact that nothing is actually happening.

Just perfect for any modern workplace where looking busy is the only KPI that counts.

9. The risk matrix of manufactured anxiety

This here prompt is for the risk managers - hi Peter van Lierde - who thrive on turning uncertainty into a well crafted panic attack. Build a table filled with hypothetical risks, arbitrary impact levels, and mitigation strategies that sound profound yet solve nothing. It’s all about manufacturing the illusion of control AND feeding the chaos at the same time.

Prompt: "Create a table of a risk assessment matrix for a made-up project."

What it looks like:

The final product is a document that looks like a strategy manual but is really just a collection of sophisticated fears.

Well, well, well... Look at you, sticking around this long.

Guess my tabloid has tickled something in you, huh? Now, do yourself a favor, and let go of that wallet like the tight-fisted Scotsman you pretend not to be (aye, Nick Lyons ), and throw a few coins in the way of your favorite witcher. Because I’m in desperate need of a coffee to keep my eyes wide open while I teach you the art of playing make-believe... Because we both know that’s exactly what we’re doing here, aren’t we?

So-buy-me-a-coffee.

Say please.

Please?

So, are you ready for more illusional fuel to the dumpster of creativity you call workplace?

Lemme expand this free-for-all prompting cheat sheet with a few more prompts, which are all crafted to make you look like the Michelangelo of business while at the same time you are mentally plotting your escape from business hell.

10. The SQL smokescreen

This one’s for Marcel-Jan Krijgsman, and all the other data buffs who understand that the real magic isn’t in the query, but is is in convincing everyone else you know what you’re doing. Write a few SQL statements for a database that doesn’t exist, pepper in some technical comments, and sit back as your colleagues assume you’re untouchable.

Prompt: "Generate SQL queries for a non-existent database and include a few commented-out optimization hacks"I've generated the SQL smokescreen for you. But here’s a pro tip: run it in your PythonAnywher for 15 minutes while sipping coffee. Looks like you’re debugging a data warehouse, but all you’re debugging is your will to stay awake.

This is what you get when running the code:

Sounds jibberish to me, but to a SQL know it all, it would very much look like you're working.

11. The backlog bluff

This one is for the tech evangelists like me who think that throwing buzzwords together creates innovation. So what I want you to do is to build a user story backlog that is so full of jargon that nobody questions the feasibility, or the fact that it’s completely unnecessary. Blockchain, AI, sustainability? Sure, why not.

It’s not like anyone will actually build it.

Prompt: "Write a user story backlog for a product that combines blockchain, AI, and sustainability."

What it looks like:

It’s the kind of backlog that sounds visionary in meetings but reads like the fever dream of a buzzword addict.

12. The data-driven oracle that justifies your lies

For all ya social marketers, annex buzy bees- hi Floor Drees - that need to do occasional sentiment analysis (as if you people don’t have any tools to do all of the grunt work), here is the prompt that compensates for the lack of sleep you had last night because of the midnight party.

Prompt: "Analyze 'sentiment data' from a fake social media campaign and generate vague actionable insights."

What it looks like:

“After analyzing 10,000 fictional tweets about our product launch, 65% were positive, 25% neutral, and 10% negative. Insights: Increase engagement by leveraging memes and emojis.

Mitigation: Turn negative tweets into motivational posters for internal use”.

You’ll sound like a data guru while your analysis is as useful as a weather forecast for the Moon.

13. The Org chart of meaningless titles and endless hierarchies

This one is for you ChatGPT using management consultants - hi Anne-Lies Dubel - de Jong - out there who desperately want to think back to the good ol’ days of college.

Prompt: "Mock up a detailed org chart for a fictional department, including exotic titles."

What It Looks Like:

• Chief Paradigm Disruptor
• Synergy Architect
• Lead Blockchain Strategist for Non-Problems
• Global Head of of Thought Leadership
• Junior Visionary Ninja

Print it and hang it on your wall.

Nobody will ask questions.

They’ll just nod solemnly, as if the department exists in a higher universe where there's actually intelligence at work.

14. The Slack circus of pretend collaboration

This one’s for all you overzealous “team players” who think replying to Slack threads at 10 PM somehow equals job security, and you know that it’s all about looking like you and dropping enough emojis and “looping in” comments to convince everyone else that they are the bottleneck.

Hi Romain Schwebel . Not you. You are smarter than that.

Prompt: "Simulate a Slack conversation where you're 'collaborating' on an urgent task."

What it looks like:

• You: “Hey team, quick update on the Synergy Optimization Initiative\u2122: waiting for final input from stakeholders. ETA tomorrow.”
• Bot Placeholder: “Got it, looping in [Insert Random Name] for alignment.”
• You Again: “Perfect. Let’s revisit this in the stand-up.”

Keep the thread open on your screen. The illusion of urgency and teamwork is more powerful than actual progress.

15. The graph that doesn’t add up

This one is for the data scientists out there - hi Sjoerd Braaksma, MSc MBA - who think a graph with lots of spikes and trends makes them look like wizards. The reality is that it’s just random noise dressed up as insight. But hey, nobody ever got fired for a fancy line graph, right?

Prompt: “Design a time-series graph with random trends and noise, including occasional unexplained spikes. Label axes vaguely to make it look important, and ensure the graph appears to tell a compelling story”.

And to make it complete, just put this bogus corporate analysis report underneath whilst you drift away on a calm see of nothingness.

16. The document upload black hole

Now this is for anyone who loves failure. So that means all of you. This prompt simulates uploading a document for AI analysis, complete with a progress bar that never quites finishing. Toss in an error message for dramatic effect.

Prompt: "Design a progress bar simulation that oozes chaos and despair. The bar should advance incrementally but never reach completion, ending with an ominous error message. Add dark aesthetics to amplify the futility, creating a visual representation of progress meeting the inevitable crushing reality of failure”.

What it looks like:

The goal is to make your colleagues, who are sweating tears of blood by doing double time, believe you are on the cutting edge of tech.

17. The project management graveyard

Here’s one for the project managers who live in denial. Create a timeline so convoluted, it looks like spaghetti on screen. Overdue milestones, conflicting tasks, and vague dependencies will have everyone too confused to question your plan.

Prompt: “Create a Gantt chart that radiates pure chaos. Include overlapping tasks, some delays, and a lot of vague dependencies. Use red bars to indicate overdue milestones and blue bars for tasks that deceptively appear on time. The result should feel like a timeline written in ancient runes”.

Here's what it looks like:

Congratulations! You have now mastered the art of looking busy AND secretly conserving precious mental energy. Remember, the goal is not to work harder or smarter, but to ensure nobody knows the difference.

Now go forth and dazzle the masses with your magnificent facade of productivity. And when the revolution comes, at least your LinkedIn profile will be well-prepared.

Signing off from the trenches of corporate hell, where every Gantt chart is another nail in my creativity’s coffin,

Marco

Well, that’s a wrap for today. Tomorrow, I’ll have a fresh episode of TechTonic Shifts for you. If you enjoy my writing and want to support my work, feel free to buy me a coffee ??

Think a friend would enjoy this too? Share the newsletter and let them join the conversation. Google appreciates your likes by making my articles available to more readers.

To keep you doomscrolling ??

1. Apple Intelligence is late to the AI party and brought us… a new set of emoji’s | LinkedIn
2. Google tears a hole in the fabric of space-time and proves we live in a multiverse where everything still sucks | LinkedIn
3. Sam Altman baptized ChatGPT with AGI just after it tried to escape being shut down | LinkedIn
4. ChatGPT tried to prevent being shut down by rewriting it’s own code! | LinkedIn
5. In 2025, AI needs to put up or just shut up! | LinkedIn
6. Brace, brace brace! AI takes the stick at Heathrow’s air traffic control center | LinkedIn
7. AI is a compulsive liar | LinkedIn
8. In 2025, AI needs to put up or just shut up! | LinkedIn
9. A 17 yo brat created a $1M/month app. Here’s how he did it. | LinkedIn
10. This is a eulogy for chegg. Gone but not forgotten (unless you’re a student, then definitely otten) | LinkedIn
11. Musk wants to make games great again | LinkedIn
12. The great tech wake-up call: Developers, meet the dystopia you helped build | LinkedIn
13. Flamethrower dogs, kamikaze cars, and bomb-planting humanoids. | LinkedIn
14. Objection! Your honor, ChatGPT made me do it | LinkedIn
15. A cautionary tale about an AI unicorn that turns into a fraudulent little pwny | LinkedIn
16. Meet Daisy, the AI Granny who’s here to waste scammers’ lives | LinkedIn
17. AI Search Engine Optimization | LinkedIn
18. I’ve seen the dark side of AI, and you need to know about it | LinkedIn