15 WAYS TO CULTIVATE DEEP INNER JOY AND CONTENTMENT?

Contentment.?

It might seem like a boring word.

There’s no pzazz about it.

But it’s something I treasure deeply.

When it’s paired with inner joy, it’s a match made in heaven (literally!).

That feeling is something that money cannot buy.

Others do for sure contribute to us having it, but we cannot depend on any one person or group of people for it.

It’s something that must be cultivated on the inside.

It’s something that the pharmaceutical industry have attempted to bottle and sell to usl, but it can never be as powerful as the naturally cultivated feeling.

I definitely don’t always have it, but I have come to understand how to cultivate it more and more.

And guess what?

Where attention goes, energy flows.

So I experience it more and more.

This feeling is NOT reliant on your life being in order (trust me, lol).

That’s not necessary.?

It’s possible to grow a beautiful flower in a garden of weeds.

You just need to tend to the flower and protect its direct environment.

And that is so worth it the effort!

Nothing beats waking up feeling grateful in my book.

So here are my top 15 tips to help you to tend to your inner joy and contentment.

I was led to share these because today kicks off the first Fired-Up Coaching Skills training.?

An important part of becoming a Fired-Up Coach is LIVING that fire.

So I was reflecting on what has worked for me to help achieve that:

Here is my list:

1. Get your sleep in order as much as possible.?

I’m 3 years in menopause. I definitely don’t always get 8 hours, but sometimes I do. I try too as much as possible. Many of the following tips are what contribute to that.

2. Get fresh air and exercise.

I have a dog which is a great gift for getting out early in the morning in natural daylight. That helps my serotonin levels to kick in. My evening dog walk in the dark helps my melatonin levels. I’m also a proud gym junkie.

3. High nutrients. Low sugar.

Ideally, I would not eat any processed sugar in any form. It plays no useful role in our lives. It’s effect on the body is destructive. But I’m not there yet. Maybe I never will be and that’s okay. I do an exceptional amount of sport which helps balance the effects. But it’s a known fact that sugar plays havoc with our hormones, our mood and our sleep. It would be one of the first things I would work on if I was feeling depressed.

4. Find a goal that EXCITES and CHALLENGES you.?

We are creatures of pursuit. That’s where growth happens. If you are not pursuing something that fires you up and it’s pursuit makes you uncomfortable, find something. Ideally it’s a life mission (my 5-year plan? is to develop The Fired-Up Coaching Academy into an epic and well-known coaching academy that transforms people's lives). Find something that you feel excited about working on.? I also have a serious fitness goal that keeps me focused, disciplined and consistent at the gym. It’s important that your goal challenges you. We grow in confidence from doing hard things.

5. Nature and Solitude

I’m an extrovert but with a strong need for introverted moments. After being with people, I need time alone to recharge my batteries. I believe everyone does.

Trees ground me. Walking in nature and taking some moments to connect with them bring me back to base. It’s like a recalibration for me.

6. Yoga

Since April 2020, I have been consistently doing 20-minutes yoga every morning. It started with an online class during lockdown and I just kept it up because it felt so good. Now it’s nearly as essential as brushing my teeth. Sometimes I miss it if I’m traveling etc., but it’s rare. Again the health benefits are enormous. Those morning stretches, twists and core work set me up for the day.

7. Thought Management

That’s the art of bringing proper attention to our thoughts. I am blessed with a deep training in identifying and releasing thoughts. I trained as a facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie in 2011. It’s the most effective form of thought management that I have experienced. All stress comes from our thoughts, not our external reality. If you know how to manage your thoughts, you have a major life advantage. A clear mind is a joyful one.

8. Zero Blame, Full Responsibility

Blame is a losing game, PERIOD. Another perspective is to see every challenge in your life as an opportunity to practice resilience, strong boundaries, better communication. All of these things can be learned and it’s our responsibility to learn them. The other alternative is that we blame but there is no power or growth in blaming. There is growth in finding the gift in the challenge and using the situation to practice overcoming. Our triggers are our responsibility to heal. If we need people to show up a certain way, we are giving our power away to that need. Don’t be at the mercy of other people’s behavior. Instead focus on managing your responses and on developing strong boundaries. Your boundaries are your responsibility.

9. Be Okay With Mess, Imperfection And Chaos

You will never risk anything if you need your life to be perfect (and your life will be far from perfect for that very reason). Being human means being imperfect. You will NEVER get it right all of the time. Being a beginner necessitates being okay with looking silly. You’ve got to pass through there to get to mastery.

Also, there are so many temptations, plus our strong inert need for approval from and connection with others causes us to do and be someone that we are not always proud of. Do your best, work on your weaknesses, but be compassionate with yourself too. Shame spiraling is massively self-destructive. It makes things worse, because when we don’t like ourselves, we don’t treat ourselves well. Focus on the gains you have made, no matter who small. By the way, if you are still reading this, that counts as a gain ;-).

10. Help Others

‘It’s in the giving that we receive’ is absolutely true. I promise you that I’m not lying when I say that my work heals me. There have been times when I felt off and getting on a client call shifts me back to joy. You can also help others by smiling at the person you pass on the street, talking with the cashier or being extra present with your loved ones. There are so many small ways that we can help others - all of us.

11. Simplify Your Life

Having too much stuff, too many social obligations, too many friends, too many commitments, too long a to-do list…. will deplete you. Spaciousness is necessary. Shave off everything that doesn’t support the vision of the life you want. Also, remember that 20% of what you are doing produces 80% of your results. So outsource everything that is possible to outsource and be okay with not having bells and whistles because they are NOT what moves the needle.

12. Do The Work - especially the uncomfortable work

“The Magic you’re looking for is in the work your avoiding.” I heard Chris Williamson say this recently and it really resonated with me.. I’m not where I would like to be yet on this one. I’m working on changing my relationship with that work I avoid. I’m working on leaning into the discomfort and taking my power back. Because whatever we are avoiding, we are leaking valuable power to it.

13. Keep It Real

Be as authentic as possible. You don’t have to share all your life’s challenges publicly, but don’t fake it either. It’s okay to share your imperfections. It’s okay to share where your work is not yet done. This actually is a strong character trait. We are only as sick as the secrets we keep. It’s exhausting to keep up a facade. You’ve got to keep acting in that role and that will eventually catch up with you and your health.

14. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

This one is massive. If we don’t take ourselves too seriously, we are much more likely to take risks and live freely. If we have an identity that we seriously need to uphold, we put undue pressure on ourselves. If you can let go of the need for people to see you a certain way and you just go with your own flow, you will experience a new level of lightness.

15. Focus On Habits, Not Results

This is a relatively recent one for me. I didn’t like it when I used to hear this advice - but I just didn’t get it. Now it’s as clear as day to me that habit development is significantly more important than focusing on results. Staying outcome focused has merit, but if you have the habits in place, the outcome will come. So instead of focusing on getting bigger muscles at the gym, focus on having a consistent gym schedule. Instead of focusing on writing a great blog, focus on writing and sharing consistently. Instead of focusing on getting your finances sorted, focus on consistent money management habits. Instead of focusing on having a fired-up life, adapt all of the habits listed here and the fired-up life will come.

I hope this served you. If it did, please pay it forward by sharing it with someone privately or by sharing it on your feed. ??

If you want to accelerate the attainment of your fired-up life, then I would love to invite you to join The Fired-Up Coaching Academy (FUCA). FUCA is a self-coaching program with an optional coaching certification. Today is a great day to join because the coaching skills training kicks off.? Replays will of course be available.