15 Things You Should Know About Your Haters

Whatever you are doing in life, people will judge, support, ignore or hate on your work. The worst of the previous mentioned is being ignored. Because that means whatever you are doing, is not worth noticing.

We all know success and haters go hand in hand. In fact, i see this as a good indicator i am on the right path and i should give up. Specially not to those kind of people. All successful people and companies have those haters behind them. Why? Why would people hate on each other?

I'm writing this article about my personal experience, vision and thoughts. So this may not be reflecting to your situation or life. Maybe, it will give you insights or some new things to learn. Still, i write in my authentic way like i do with my posts and other things in life. Since my posts are well accepted, it's time to give some more comprehensive insights in subjects that most people can relate to in some way.

There are a lot of reasons that could let people hate on you or me, or others like bullying. I'm not saying this is correct, but lets have a deeper dive in some of those things. In my eyes the top 15 things i learned about haters, people that are bullying others and where they are now. The results can be surprising, since some of those don't even dare to look at me anymore, and some changed their life around in a good way. Maybe they just had bad influence back then.

#01 - If they could do it better, they would've done it already.

Perfect, "Mic Dropped, Case Closed, Done." Next subject.

Does this really need more explanation? Well yea, maybe it should. But the title speak for itself also. The people that hate on my work have deeper issues within them. Most of those are coming forward out of their younger years. Abusive parents or home, not enough support, not being heard when it mattered to them. Thinking they are better then others because they have or had more money back than?

The influence of other people are also an important factor to be noticed here. They have friends and get influenced by their behavior. Whenever they don't follow them they get pushed away and be left alone without those. Which might give them the insight what they have done before.

But Tom, what does this have to do with this subject?

Good question, i understand you are asking this yourself. What i saw from my experience in this, those haters, the people that bullied me back in the days. They were more under the influence of others, people that had a reputation and they wanted to be part of something. Mostly being influenced led them to have the life everyone dreams of.

Luxury lifestyle, millions of money, a lot of friends (i call them fake friends, i come back to this later), Sports cars, big mansions,...

When in the end, they get used to that specific lifestyle and going out every weekend. Some of those people they got influenced by, i am very happy for those with the brains. They started to make careers, progress in life. The haters? They fell, and some even forgot they did those things to me, i didn't.

I received their applications, people that tried to got me in touch with them cause they need help finding a job, their boyfriend/husband left them for someone else without children,...

I still remember they had so many dreams of making it in life, but they spend it on partying, bullying, having fun,...

Where are they now? Hating on others because the ones they hated on, they made it what they dreamed of. They couldn't take them down, including me, and you, and all the other successful people i see here and in my life.

Right now, they are just spectators watching me making the moves, the progress and the lifestyle they wished for. They're proud and status killed them by handling life like that. I always knew and still know, i am a nobody in a fast changing world of 8 billion people.

Sounds hard and like i am lowering myself, but no. This is my reality. I know my worth and where i am, which is still in the very beginning of my launch for life. I have to learn a lot still, i might know much, but there is so much out there to discover still.

#02 - They want to bring you down to justify their mediocre and failed life

I am passionate about stuff and i want to upgrade and improve myself to be much better in the future and achieve my goals. You know, all that hating, talking trash about others. That's time consuming.

Can you imagine? I go spend hours and hours every day/week ghosting you, looking at you and finding out what you are doing. Finding something you achieve and then write a mean comment or spread a lie because i failed my dreams?

Then i try to throw a shade and a dark environment over your life so you have to be miserable like me?

Bummer, people like me and you and other successful business owners and so, they don't care about that. Like, yea hater, go waste more time trying to take me down. I don't even know your existence. Why would i care about it?

I dare to bet, those haters have a 9 to 5 job they are not happy with, too afraid to change because they need that job, stressing about monthly costs and so on. Showing off to people that they are happy but internally broken. So they spend hours hating on others to get them to their low, miserable life.

The most funny part i find about all this? I can do so much in the hours they waste every time to hate on others. What can you do in 2 or 3 hours? 2 meetings? Closing a contract? Making a sale? finish a project? Getting your kids from school and drive with your partner to a fancy restaurant in your Mercedes or BMW?

They are not happy for you, they are jealous. Instead of spending the hours wasted on self improvement, they just want you to lower your life and give up. Don't do that, know what you are worth and leave them haters hating.

In the end, The haters still make you popular. They just think they take you down. Real people and people you can trust, they know your worth. Haters are losers, the reason why they are hating on you? It would make them feel better about their miserable life.

#3 - They'll never amount to anything, unless they change

Sadly, haters are part of the crowd. In order to achieve something i had to change, i had to be different and bring value to other people's life.

I have dreams, i have goals. Yes, i failed a lot. Learned a lot. Took action on those things i learned. Fell down to the burning holes and flaming pits of hell multiple times. But, look who is writing this? I rise up every time. Because i want to grow, i want to change.

Most haters try also to change. Once, they fail, they give up, they see the success of others and hate. Change in life is important to grow and reach your goals.

Personally, i don't give haters attention. Silence can be the best weapon to silence them. they kick on a reaction and wasting my time. The thing here is, and to admit it also, some haters really see it and they want to change.

I can support those people that truly want to change their life around and put the effort in. It is really hard for those people to come out of their comfort zone and leave their old life behind. They see the current friends as true friends and real ones. Until i ask the question: "What if you call everyone right now of your true friends and say you lost everything and need help, money, or something?" I can say, 80% of the time, they start crying and i see the reality sink in when they realize they lost them in that moment. The people they call the true people in their life.

#4 - They have a limited mindset

Indeed, limited mindset. I don't say they are not intelligent or dumb. Most of them are smart, went to university or any useful education. They maybe didn't had the change to exploit themselves. Which makes me kinda feel sorrow for them. Everyone deserves the best in life, even if the actions they made aren't the best they did.

A limited mindset can also come from a past of not being able to develop fully and being oppressed by influences, household, other people,...

It doesn't mean they cannot improve, they are just not used to growth and being in a uncomfortable zone for a while. thinking outside the box and exploring new things is hard for them, like multiple times stated already, the people around them will laugh and so on. That feeling and fear makes them feeling worthless.

the limited mindset also can refer that they think there is a limited amount of success available in the world. And when you and i are getting successful, they think we take it away from them. Which is kinda hilarious, no?

I mean look at the previous mentioned things i said? If there is enough things to hate, to be around people and hate with a group to take people down? Then this would also be true for successful people that connect and hang out with each other? No?

What is the difference sitting in a restaurant with all the fake people that give you a good feeling and look down at others, because they are dressed boring, drive a old car?

and

Being with all intelligent people that have a stable growing business, sharing knowledge, sharing ideas, making connections and meeting high value people while parking the rusty old card from their grandfather with proud right in front of the entrance wearing a normal jeans, a plain t-shirt, and some low class Adidas or Nike shoes instead of a shiny, expensive looking clothes with fake brands?

Well, it seems like a lot of difference. But look closer to my example. I'm not displaying people poor or anything, but showing off to be in some kind of group? Or having true values with a big bank account that no one knows? Success doesn't scream, it is speaking in silence.

The difference is the people they hang out with, in this example. I know a lot of people with a big house, driving a Lamborghini. And me? Living in a small apartment, driving a Ford.

Yea, people laugh at me. And then they text me like can you help me out? Which i can't because, i am traveling more then them and enjoying my life. Then they ask how i did it? And they cannot believe if i tell them over and over again. I don't need to look rich, i want to achieve my dreams which means more. Achieving them in a true way without faking.

Fake it till you make it, famous sentence. Believe me, it isn't working.

#5 - They're not happy

Ofcourse they are not happy, i mean, truly happy. They need confirmation form a big crowd and acceptance. While we take it from ourselves. The lonely road.

Why would you hate on others when you are happy? There is no reason. People grow together. Happy people don't hate on the happiness of others. there is no reason for them. Hate comes from a dark place.

When i realized that, i kinda felt sorry for their sadness. By hating they also try to get your happiness down so they have value in their own problems or past. Instead of taking on the problems, they drag others into it.

Happiness is for everyone different. I see it as a choice. But they think happiness is something they are entitled too. Well, who owes you the happiness? The world? Haha, easy on that. Nobody owes you anything. Like in the same way you need to earn the respect from others, you can make your own happiness. What makes you happy? Set it as a goal and go for it. Happiness is something you make in your life.

It would be easy ofcourse if there was a magical force that gave it to you. But, that isn't the reality. When i dedicated myself to find my true happiness and success and life path, i became my truly self, not caring about what others think about me (i have respect for everyone and their opinion which can get a good debate and give better insights). But when i realized what really made me happy? Even when earning more than decent in a month? I didn't care anymore. I chased my happiness and prioritized it.

And now? When looking back? I am happy in my own way.

#6 - They're scared of change

Haters are scared of the inevitable. Change is happening constantly, it's dynamic. People that don't change or those who are afraid of it, they get left behind. It might not be in a big gap. But it gets visible over time.

Change is good in the right way and mindset. change can improve us, challenge us, release us from the past. Time and change showed me how people truly are. Being hurt a lot by this, i got into a dark place. Scared to be hurt and broken again.

Once i got out of it, things changed drastically. I lost almost all my friends, because they got scared from me. Not that i would be aggressive. But i just didn't care about it anymore.

When i was searching for my happiness (i still am), i learned to cut out the negativity and ignore it. When people hate me or don't have a good influence or a positive light in my life, i just cut them out. It seems hard, but isn't my and your's happiness more important? Some times, the hard choice can be much better for growth.

It also shows people you are not scared of change and growth. Which is limiting your circle of people around you. But the ones that stay or come, they see your true value and grow with you.

#7 - They's filled by envy

I see this a lot in those people. Envy is horrible, it destroys a lot of good things. It also connects with jealousy. I heard it a lot, the thinking behind it.

"If i cannot have it, why would you be worth of it?"

"I deserve a good life too, why is it only for you?"

Well, here you piece of blind short minded hater. It is also for you. You just didn't take the right choices and actions YET. Why would it only be for me? The world is big enough for both of our success and luxury. But it takes change, time, patience, dedication.

And what do they think? It happens in an instant. Is that true? I explained that in a few post of me before. Success takes time, it takes dedication, failure,...

When i see someone who has made it or is more successful than me? I feel inspired, i start questioning myself "How did they got there?"

Those people that are already there know something i don't know, why don't i try to talk to them. I know i am not on their level, but i have the mindset and dedication, right? I am not there yet, but i am somewhere between the start and their end?

It's not worth it, they won't see you, why would they want to talk to someone like me?

I had that thought a lot. But, i still found the courage and connected to those successful people. And guess what? I learned a lot. I told my things, they told some of theirs. In the end? We both said the same: "I know you are not in the end phase, but you will get there someday and look back at this moment. I believe in you, your future and that you make it one day. Just promise me one thing?"

I was so touched by those words i just said that i couldn't care what to promise and said anything.

He replied: "Whenever it is the time for you, inspire others that might be scared to go and take the leap, support them, share your story. When your time is there, i won't be here anymore. I want my legacy to become a empire. You can grow it after my time has ended. I trust you with this."

And yes, i still keep my word after 20 years at the time of writing this. I hope i can make him proud.

#8 - They'll justify your success as luck instead of hard work

Right, i just got lucky for my success, impact and so on. Yup, i did. Thank you for exposing me and let people see i didn't work for it.

Really? How many of you and other successful people went lucky? How many had 0 failures, 0 drawbacks?

No one, everyone has. We just handle them differently.

They just think you got lucky, you got the connections, people that believed you. But how did you and i got those?

Yes, i have connections. Yes, i was lucky that i met the right people that believed in me, supported me and gave me knowledge. But i had to work for it also. I don't come from a wealthy family, but i come from a family with good values and dedication. I am grateful for that. Because i had to work for it.

The thing is, there are things we call ourselves lucky for. And yes, i acknowledge that that is true. But getting successful? You can have luck on your way, but 90% of the time it is hard work, making sacrifices, being lonely, walking the road alone, being pulled back by people. 5% is maybe luck, the other 5%? Tears, hate, ...

#9 - They don't really know you

Sounds familiar, right? Most of the haters don't know you, never met you, never will. They just see your life online, on TV, hear about you and they don't like it because they are not you.

That's the hard truth, they heard about you. But they don't know you. Do they really know what you went through? The failures, the hard times?

Nope, they just heard your success. Which i can only admire. How would they see you with your past and the road to where you are now?

I had once a conversation like this. A small group of people mocking me and laughing because i mostly go alone to things to exercise, grab a drink, relax.

One of them came to me mocking, the group followed. Laughing at i got it from birth the success. But hej, i was sick of that and i told them a lot about my road. They sat down, shocked, mouth open. they just left in silence, knowing they had it wrong.

After that, they never spoke to me again, never laughed. They went friendly and gave a friendly nod or smile. But that is it.

A few years later, i saw one of the group alone with a new friend. I went to him and asked what happened to the others? He said to me: "Why would you even bother after what i did and how i treated you?"

I sat down besides him and said: "What is the thing of not being open minded? You're actions don't define who you are and don't make you a bad person."

He started explaining and has really changed his life, he now owns a few companies which he runs successfully. He is happy, and closed the fake friends out. That is what i call a better success than i have.

#10 - They want to be you

The last paragraph confirms this. They hate us, mock us because they want to be us but don't know how. Even though the solution is in front of them.

Once they find the courage and open their blocked off mind, they can achieve it through our inspiration.

If i look back, i see that those people hate me, want to take me down. But i also see they are kinda looking up to me. If they can put aside their proud and open up, they also have heartbreaking things. They use it in a wrong way.

In these days, most people i know, they tell me i don't want to be you. Which has a different reason, what i went through inspires them for sure. They just know my full path and road i took. It is not that easy and they know. But those are not haters.

The haters i still have on a regular interval, when you look through them, they are really broken inside and don't know a way out. They need support, love and care in a good way. And that starts also by listening to them. They have a wrong vision about me, and others.

Without going through hell, acknowledging my true feelings, my true pain, letting myself be hurt,... I made myself vulnerable and grow for it, i healed myself, looked back and took the pain as a lesson. that's where my transformation started.

#11 - They never invest in improving themselves

Yes, investing in myself to improve. That's where haters lack behind. I started my transformation to be better and grow. Invested in going through my feelings, my goals.

Start learning day after day, denied my pleasure, lost friends.

The first thing i invested in was setting myself open and vulnerable, this let me go through a hell of a time. Which only 2 people supported me in. But it didn't stop there, i started to expand my knowledge, my studies, my mental health.

I putted boundaries for things after that to protect myself. Instead of denying my feelings, i put boundaries and grew into someone who isn't scared of walking away. Even if the future can be scared and unsure.

Even now, i try to learn, see things, be open for things. It is a very powerful thing to improve yourself daily. The only competition i have in myself from yesterday, i want to be better then him.

#12 - They probably stalk all your profiles

Ofcourse they do. That's how i, and others in the same road, see views and people coming by daily without interactions. They want to see everything and try to find the smallest clue to prove that it is fake.

What if they find something? They gonna spread it without knowing. And ooh yea, i see that a lot. People finding something, spreading it and getting false things out because they saw something.

Then they come against me, doing big and thinking they got me. Keep pushing and trying to destroy me. Until, i am sick of it and fire back 1 time with the truth. Guess what? They shut up and go back into their dark cave, brainstorming and being miserable.

They open all your things again to see where there went wrong. How could they be so wrong? What have i done wrong? All those things they question themselves.

They start to ghost you, following you without you knowing (they think) and then, they realized they put themselves in a loophole they cannot get out.

Moral of the story? They keep looking at you, people gonna be wondered, do research and you get true followers and people. Mostly, they where true to your haters.

I think that's what you get to spread false things and think you know all of it. When in the end, it is just big talk and do's with your fake friends in a restaurant somewhere they feel safe and praised for the fake things.

#13 - They gossip about you with their friends

But hej, that's good right? Being praised around your friends you talk with? Ofcourse, they have the same mindset and believe you blindly.

Gossiping about stuff that isn't true makes them feel valuable and good. They always have the exciting stories about me or someone. those friends they have support them and are like ooh really? See we knew, but he didn't want to listen, and so on.

I saw a lot of that, even till physical attacks and being unable to work after that. But you know, they are right. At least, they think they are. In the end, they are scratching their heads in finding solutions to come out of the lies they told everyone, sitting alone and all that hate firing back at them. They end up alone.

who do they have to talk to then? I understand it gives them pleasure, assurance and so on. But be aware of what you tell others. They always bring up my name and talk a lot.

The funny thing? they spread my name and make you famous. Do they realize that? I don't know. I got a lot of clients and friends because they keep bringing up my name. Some people have more brains then those haters and do research. Which proves them wrong always.

#14 - They're only going to fuel your ambitions

Did those haters stop me? No.

Will they ever stop me? No.

Are they gonna help me? Yes, They fuel my ambitions. The hate, the talking, the ending in those things? It all gives me more strength, ambitions and motivation.

It even inspires me actually. They are telling stories how far they made it in life. Look making X amount a month.

Few weeks later you meet them and they are complaining about being in trouble and have to sell stuff.

Think that? How is it possible you earn so much like 5x more then your spending. And still need to sell things because your bank account is below zero?

Why do you even talk about it in the first place? You wanna mean something or feel better because you got something nobody cares about?

#15 - Haters gonna hate

Well yea, Haters will always be hating on others instead of learning and improving themselves. They maybe not know better but that is something they have to work on.

Those things is said is without judgement. It is my vision, experience from what i saw and went through which learned me all this. It opened my vision to them.

It is a hard lesson and takes years to improve, but as long as there are haters, they will be hating on you, on me, on others. I think we build our own success, happiness and circles of people.