15 solid ways to tap into your worst self

Enough of posts with good advice. Let's share some bad advice and see what we can learn from them.

1) Let complaining be your most active hobby. The traffic, the boyfriend, the girlfriend, the wife, parents, boss, colleague, neighbor, country, economy, selfishness, greed. PM me for more.

2) Sleep whenever you feel like, get up just in time to go to office. There is no dearth of time in life - optimize it for rest.

3) Stay at least 1 hour away from your workplace, 2+ hours is ideal.

4) Take pride in being unsocial - "I love being alone most of the time, I am an introvert", "I hate people who do x,y..."!

5) If you are the social/fun-seeking type - party every night. Party definitely means consuming alcohol till you pass out. You anyways know all the ways to beat a hangover. Keep a log of the number of days you skipped partying. Don't let it be more than 5 days a month.

6) Lie/cheat whenever you can. You are smart, you wouldn't get caught. If you didn't get caught, you didn't cheat - simple.

7) Be short-sighted and plan only for the next week. You never know if you would be alive the next year, why bother planning for it?

8) Don't spend on others. The money you earn is just for you & probably your very close ones. Let others pay for you if they feel like. Not you. You save. As much as possible. After all it's MONEY that runs the world. Save for what? No idea, since you haven't planned. Probably for a very rainy day.

9) Don't read any books - in fact don't read anything except anything written on your Twitter/Facebook feeds. And the hoardings on the roads.

10) Eat only for taste... and optimize your meals - eat all you can in one shot till you get very hungry again. And never bother about junk food, healthy food - that's for the diabetics and the ill. Eating time of the day - doesn't matter.

11) Stay away from sports - your age of playing is long gone. Sports is for kids - it makes you look less mature.

12) If you want to keep the play alive - play dirty office politics. Become a schemer. You will achieve your target of misery very soon.

13) Exercise - come on. That's for the old and 50+. Or may be for someone less fortunate and agile. You don't need it. You are gifted to live till 100 without much trouble.

14) Don't believe in love - that's for the movies. Life is about having fun and moving on.

15) Don't care for your parents. You didn't ask them to bring you into this world. They will be fine. No need calling them very frequently, they don't have exciting topics to discuss anyway. They are old-fashioned.

Please feel free to help with more tips, the world needs them!