15 Practices For Your Well-Being

Everyone suffers from anxiety occasionally; be it a bad temper, irritability, anger or mood swings. In my article today, I'd like to a number of simple practices which can help you take better care of your emotional health over the course of 2023.

Let's start off first with ‘negative’ emotions, as they are quite a dragon to tame. They feed in the darkness of your fears and insecurities, often fuelled by feelings of:

• not being 'good enough',
• not being loved, or
• not belonging

You shall also become emotional when some of your other core-needs are not being met, such as:

• physiological needs
• financial needs
• need for security / safety
• needs for self-esteem, respect, praise, achievement
• need for personal growth
• need to make a contribution
• need for freedom, autonomy or independence
• need for fairness or justice

And you can struggle with your emotions if you hold on to (unhealthy) beliefs that can never be satisfied, for example:

• "I must be wealthier to be financially safe."
• "I must prove that I am better than people think I am."
• "I must become the best at..."
• "Others owe me respect or obedience..."

Whilst coaching can help you actualize your needs and evolve your belief system, I'd like to share here some very simple practices that can easily help you enhance your emotional well-being. Why not pick a few to try out and see what works for you?

Practice #1 - Just walk!

'A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.' - Paul Dudley White

Practice #2 - Adopt 3 power-up boosters in your life

Imagine you would walk on 3 feet - when one or even two are weak, you can still move ahead.

The same principle applies to positivity boosters; find yourself a third passion besides family and work. It could be sports or outdoor activities, community or charity work, arts or music etc. as long as it keeps you positively moving forward.

Practice #3 - Identify your recurrent emotional triggers

Identify patterns, and then work-out the ‘downward arrows technique’, to build up an action plan to improve things; this technique is described on pages 11 and 12 of this document on my website.

Practice #4 - Take responsibility for your emotions

Say 'I feel angry', not 'you make me angry'.

When in conflict with someone else, remember to address his/her behavior(s) and not to criticize the person.

Practice #5 - Hold yourself back from reacting immediately when you are upset

Imagine just receiving an aggressive or disrespectful email that enrages you.

1. ‘Take five’ to cool down, and DON'T respond before your adrenaline is fully released.
2. Go out for a 5-minute walk when the pressure is high, or just go the washroom and freshen-up your face.
3. Listen to your favorite soothing music for 5 minutes when you ‘boiling’ inside.
4. Look for a while at an object or picture you love, until you calm down.

Then set up a face-to-face discussion when possible:?they diffuse tensions way better than email wars!

Practice #6 - Don't sleep over your negative emotions

If they keep you awake, stand up from your bed and write them down, then apply the ‘downward arrow technique ’.

“If you can’t sleep, then get up, and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep” - Dale Carnegie

Practice #7 - Focus on the positive for at least 5 mins a day

Take five minutes in the early morning to meditate or just reflect about the positive things in your life and what you can be grateful for

Practice #8 - Consciously choose to see the positive in dangers

Train your mind to see the good in every situation, for in every ‘risk’ or ‘crisis’ there is opportunity aside of danger. The Chinese chose to signify ‘risk’ or ‘crisis’ with the characters (shown above).

“There is no education like adversity” said Benjamin Disraeli

So be thankful for the next challenge in your life or career and cheer yourself up: “I will rise to the occasion and learn from it”

Practice #9 - Start with 'Thank You' when you reply to a hostile statement

When you believe that someone is communicating aggressively with you, start your answer by ‘Thank you for sharing your thoughts/feeling’. It helps ‘disarm’ your counterpart and shows you are not afraid..

When you believe someone is combative with you, ask her/him: “Can you please elaborate (on your intention here)?”

Practice #10 - Stay detached but empathize with the other party in a conflict

As Steven Covey phrased it,

“Seek to understand first”

Ask the ‘opposing’ party about their concerns, fears, beliefs, assumptions, interests before you share yours.

Practice #11 - Surround yourself with enough positive people

If some people around you stay deeply negative after you read this book, invite them to go… and seek professional help.

Practice #12 - Do at least one kind act a day

With absolutely no expectation of return.

Try it out! It does wonders to your inner happiness, which in turn keeps you more at peace.

Practice #13 - Tell 'significant others' they are important to you

As easy as that is, it strengthens the relationship and enhances all parties’ self-esteem. It makes it easy to address issues later on.

Practice #14 - Laugh at least once a day!

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. “ - Lord Byron

Save short videos of your favorite stand-up comedians or read some joke online and play them once a day.

Practice #15 - Give a long hug to someone you love at least once a day

Research has shown that a 20 seconds hug releases oxytocin, the natural bonding hormone and neurotransmitter which is anti depressant and anti-anxiety.

Enjoy the gifts of your greater well-being this week!

Here's to your Greatness,

Jean-Francois Cousin?

Global Executive & Team Coach, MCC

Speaker, Author, Former Chairman of ICF Global Board