15 Lessons I’ve Learned over 48 Years

Sometimes I can’t really comprehend where 48 years of my life so have gone!

But good times, bad times, fun times, sad times all mould you into the person you become and develop into.

Not trying to get all philosophical here or pretend I am an ancient “wise man” but just wanted to think through the lessons I’ve learned, for my own benefit even if no one else thinks it’s a worthwhile read ;-)

Here goes… a snapshot of some of the things I’ve learned, some deadly serious, some just a bit of fun!

See what you think and whether you agree!

1.    Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans

Yes I do know I stole that from John Lennon but it’s true.

It’s true in life and it’s also true in business. I’ve never written a business plan that was relevant a week after, nor have I written a life plan… umm ever! 

Just when you think you've got life or business sorted, something or someone slaps you around the back of the head when you least expect it!

Learning to roll with the punches and pick yourself up again is vital along with trying to not be complacent.

Be aware that ALL of us know this, but ALL of us suffer from complacency and the issues that follow it so don't beat yourself up too much!

2.    Have a plan and be ruthless

Ok so I know I said don’t write a plan but now I say do write a plan?!?!

To clarify what I mean is have a moving set of targets, goals or ambitions. The steps to get there you may have to work out as you go but as long as you know where you’re going and continually strive to get there, you’ll make progress!

For me, this is not just something you do when starting out… it’s relentless throughout your “journey”!

Don’t let time disappear without moving forward to the next goal and make positive decisions that will get you to where you want to be. Do not rely on others to make it happen for you.

Just make sure YOU make it happen for YOU!

3.    We are ALL making it up as we go

I used to look at successful people and think they must just KNOW what to do!

What I’ve learned is we all just make (mostly) educated guesses at stuff and go with it! The people who are successful are just great at making decisions, are not scared of making wrong ones and if they do, so what, move on and learn!

I’ve also seen people and worked with people in great jobs and wondered how on earth they got there as they were muppets!!!

Do your thing, watch and learn from others and work out what they do and model (or copy as it was called when I was a kid!!) so you progress too. Give credit and appreciation where it’s due to those who help you in whatever way and avoid the ones who keep screwing up!

4.    Time is precious

A cliché but it’s true.

Treasure it. But also, don’t stress over the days when you need to kick back, relax and chill. Just make the productive hours count!

My kids have grown SO fast it’s scary.

All parents say that stuff but until you have your own, it really is boring to hear. Parents don’t care as they feel it and it’s genuinely painful. Make notes of exciting times.

Take photos and build memories… relentlessly with friends, colleagues, family and sometimes even strangers!

5.    Self-made is bullshit!

No one is “self-made”. 

People never succeed on their own.

Even if it’s the motivation and support of their parents, spouse, partner or kids. If people have a great job or a great business, the colleagues, customers and suppliers ALL pay a part.

Of course, making great decisions and being smart is important but you can’t do it alone!

6.    Don’t stress over academic qualifications too much

So here is how I was torn as a parent on how much to push my kids.

I was ok at school. I didn’t go on to Uni so I don’t have a degree.

I know many people the same who are seriously successful.

Obviously, I am not saying don’t try at school as it’s vital to learn how to apply yourself.

If you want to go into a profession such as law or medicine, then of course you need to be great at school!

If you want other types of success, then application is equally important, but it doesn’t have to be academic!

Work ethic, commitment and drive is more effective than a lazy person with an average grade in a meaningless degree.

Though some of those do have EPIC student loans (if that is a competition !!!).

7.    Never stop learning

If you are at a stage of life when you can’t be bothered to better yourself then sorry but don’t be a dick!

Never stop trying and never stop learning.

Forever.

Find what floats your boat to do this.

Reading, audio books, podcasts, seminars, home study, video, tutoring, mentoring… there are so many ways.

We are in the information age. Don’t make idiotic excuses as to why you can’t better yourself.

8.    Love your body

Loads of us when we are young are insecure about our bodies.

Learn to love yourself… in a non-self-indulgent, egotistical way.

Perhaps appreciation is a better way of describing it, but as you get older you have to work damn hard to keep it in shape… and yes, I know round is a shape but it’s not the most healthy for a body!!

If you look after yourself, you can work harder AND play harder!

Don't obsess over it and stop yourself enjoying yourself but everything in moderation!

I've binge drunk with the best of them and still do, but balance it with healthy diet and regular exercise and mostly you'll be ok!

9.    Listen to your parents

Most of us think we know it all when we are young.

Most of us definitely don’t. Parents are in the majority of instances, correct about what is best for you.

If… they are forward thinking and make intelligent decisions most of the time!

It’s because they have something you can’t buy and its’ called experience! We have made almost ALL the mistakes you have or are about to make! I’m constantly learning from mine.

Appreciate your parents as none of know what’s around the corner.

Pick up the phone, visit them, message them and talk to them. Spend as much time as you can with them… before you want to punch yourself in the face… but make sure you come back for more once you’ve gone outside to breath ;-)

10.  Invest in mentors

Free advice is often free for a reason.

It’s often crap!

Unless it from your Mum or the old man but even then it can be if that person is just trying to help as their a parent but don't really know what they're talking about!!

The old saying about you get what you pay for is true!

Invest to work with people who can help you progress to where you want to be. Don’t just think about cost. Consider return on investment and the savings you can make from not having to make all the mistakes they’ve already made and enable yourself to fast track to better results!

11.  Stick to the knitting

I’m a firm believer in doing what your best at or as it’s being described… your genius!

Then hire, partner or outsource to others who have specialist expertise you need. Of course, it’s good to understand where you are putting your money and time if you’re investing in people, products or a service, but only so you can truly measure the results.

Once you know… you can scale up and grow quicker. 

12.  Don’t worry about failure

Of course, when things go wrong it hurts. It hurts because you care.

But as Churchill, one of my heroes said...

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”

Keeping going, when the chips are down is the most important thing, but only really worth it if you ensure you learn what caused the failure and you endeavour not to do the same thing again!

13.  Be happy

Life is bloody tough.

It’s a constant challenge.

In fact, in can be terrifyingly brutal at times.

But it’s also beautiful, invigorating, exciting, rewarding and just simply amazing! Enjoy every little moment as well as the major events.

Laughs with a loved one or friend over something silly can be memorable and the opportunity to live is a miracle and sadly taken for granted by all of us regularly. But making a conscious effort to enjoy the simplest things will only enhance your life and love every day. 

14.  Stop bloody comparing yourself to people on social!

The trouble with social media is it’s a snapshot and it never paints a true picture. I can take a selfie next to a Lambo but jump into an old banger afterwards, but people perceive I’ve got a Lambo!!

Remember this...

There is ALWAYS someone better off than you and there is ALWAYS someone worse off!

Don’t get too big for your boots if you start to make a few quid and don’t panic forever if you lose it all! Things are replaceable and there’s always a way to make more money but stop comparing your own life to others online and thinking you life is terrible!

Being happy and content is not a one stop but a life lasting journey.

Be proud of what you achieve but work out how you can move forward in whatever way is right for you… this doesn’t always mean money!

15.  Be positive and move away from negativity

Some people lift us up, some drag us down.

Learn about this as fast as you can. Work out who both these sets of people and just bloody make sure you move towards the positive uplifting people and get rid of the ones who want the worst for you and drag you down.

There are many of both in the world.

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Well I could go on and on!!

This list is almost endless, as is the lessons we continually learn about in life!

I hope this has stimulated thoughts about what you’ve learned.

If so, please share them in the comments below!

Have a great day and keep learning and moving forward!

Stefan

ABOUT STEFAN BOYLE

Stefan Boyle is a UK based entrepreneur, author and founder of Marketing Republic, a B2B Business Development Agency that build social selling campaigns to find new sales opportunities for clients across the world.