15 Healthy Practices for your Emotional Well-Being
Jean-Francois Cousin
Global Executive & Team Coach, MCC ? Keynote Speaker ? Author ? Former Chairman, ICF Global Board
A very good morning #GameChangers and I hope that you had a spectacular start to the new year for the first week of January 2018!
In my new article today, we'll be talking about your emotional well-being and how we can further enhance it :) As with everyone else, we are prone to suffer occasionally from anxiety, bad temper, irritability, anger or even mood swings.
Let's review a number of ideas which can help you take better care of your emotional health, or - to put it simply - your ability to understand and appropriately express your emotions, and to nurture meaningful social interactions and connections.
We will focus here on 'negative' emotions, as they are indeed quite a 'dragon-to-tame'. They feed in the darkness of your fears and insecurities, often fueled by feelings of:
- Not being 'good enough'
- Not being loved, or
- Not belonging
You will also become emotional when some of your other 'core-needs' are not being met, such as:
- Physiological needs
- Financial needs
- Need of security / safety
- Need of self-esteem, respect, praise, achievement
- Need of personal growth
- Need to make a contribution
- Need of freedom, autonomy, independence
- Need of fairness / justice
And you can struggle with your emotions if you hold on to (unhealthy) beliefs that can never be satisfied, for example:
- "I must be wealthier to be financially safe."
- "I must prove that I am better than people think I am..."
- "Others owe me respect / obedience / ..."
Whilst coaching can best help you actualize your needs and evolve your belief system, a number of practices can help you enhance your emotional health. May I invite you to select a few among this list?
Healthy Practice #1- Do Walk
Just keep in mind:
" A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world."
Paul Dudley White
Healthy Practice #2 - Power your Life with (at least) 3 boosters!
Imagine you would walk on 3 feet... When one or even two are weak, you can still move ahead. The same principle applies to positivity boosters. So find yourself a third passion beside family and work. It can be sport, community work, arts, gardening, traveling... as long as it keeps you positively moving forward ;)
Healthy Practice #3 - Identify your recurrent emotional triggers
Identify patterns, and then work-out the 'downward arrows technique', to build up an action plan to improve things; that technique is described on pages 11 and 12 of this document available from my website.
Healthy Practice #4 - Take responsibility for your emotions
Say "I feel angry", not "you make me angry".
When in conflict with another person, remember to address his/her behavior(s) and not to criticize the person.
Healthy Practice #5 - Hold yourself back from reacting immediately when you are upset
Imagine you just received that aggressive or disrespectful email and you are enraged...
'Take five' to cool down, and don't respond before your adrenaline is fully released.
Go out for a 5-minute walk when the pressure is high, or just go to the washroom and freshen yourself up with a splash of cold water to your face...
Listen to your favorite soothing music for 5 minutes when you 'boil' inside...
Look for a while at an object or picture you love, until you calm down...
Then set up a face-to-face discussion when possible - they diffuse tensions way better than email wars!
Healthy Practice #6 - Don't sleep over your negative emotions
If they keep you awake, stand up from your bed and write them down, then apply the ‘downward arrow technique’.
“ If you can’t sleep, then get up, and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.”
Dale Carnegie
Healthy Practice #7 - Focus on the positive, 5 minutes a day at least
Take five minutes in the early morning to meditate or just reflect about the positive things in your life and what you can be grateful for.
Healthy Practice #8 - Consciously choose to see the positive in dangers
Train your mind to see the good in every situation, for in every 'risk' or 'crisis' there is opportunity aside of danger. The Chinese chose to signify 'risk' or 'crisis' with the 2 characters on the left.
"There is no education like adversity." said Benjamin Disraeli...
So be thankful for the next challenge in your life or career and cheer yourself up with the attitude of "I will rise to the occasion and learn from it."
Healthy Practice #9 - Start with 'Thank you' when you reply to a statement you believe to be hostile
When you perceive someone communicating aggressively with you, start your answer by 'Thank you for sharing your thoughts / feelings.' It helps 'disarm' your counterpart and shows you are not afraid.
When you believe someone is combative with you, ask her/him - "Can you please elaborate (on your intention here)?"
Healthy Practice #10 - Stay detached but empathize with the other party in a conflict
As Steven Covey phrased it, "Seek to understand first." Ask the 'opposing' party about their concerns, fears, beliefs, assumptions, interests before you share yours.
Healthy Practice #11 - Surround yourself with enough positive people
If some people stay deeply negative around you after you read this, invite them to go... and seek professional help.
Healthy Practice #12 - Do at least one kind act a day
With absolutely no expectation of return. Try it out: it does wonders to your inner happiness, which in turn keeps you more at peace.
Healthy Practice #13 - Tell 'significant others' they are important to you
As easy as that is, it strengthens the relationship and enhances all parties' self-esteem. It makes it easy to address issues later on.
Healthy Practice #14 - Laugh enough... At least once a day!
" Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine."
Lord Byron
Save short videos of your favorite stand-up comedians or pet animals on your computer or hand-held devices, and play them.
Healthy Practice #15 - Give a long hug to someone you love! At least once a day
Seriously, research has shown that a 20-second hug releases oxytocin, the natural bonding hormone and neurotransmitter which is anti-depressant and anti-anxiety.
What about your own ideas or tips about enhancing your emotional well-being? Do share yours in the comments below!
For a partial illustration of a transformation towards greater emotional well-being, read pages 15 and 16 of this document.
Those practices will not help out a grieving or depressed person enough. I recommend to those grieving, suffering from insecurities or trauma from their past, or feeling depressed, to offer themselves sessions with a qualified support professional.
Next week we will review gifts for your inner-peace and mindfulness.
Meanwhile, enjoy the gifts of your greater emotional well-being this week!
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Jean-Francois Cousin
Speaker, Author and Master Certified Coach
Director at the Global Board of the International Coach Federation
Greatness Leadership Coaching
Commercial Connector - Membership Business Associations - Corporate Events & Hospitality Professional
7 年Happy New Year and looking forward hearing more from you on the 8th of February ??