15 healthy practices for your emotional well-being

As with almost everyone, you may occasionally suffer from anxiety, a bad temper, irritability, anger or mood swings. In this short article today, I'd like to share a number of ideas that can help you take better care of your emotional health, or (to put it simply) your ability to understand and appropriately express your emotions, and to nurture meaningful social interactions and connections.

We'll focus on 'negative' emotions, as they are quite a 'dragon' to tame. They feed in the darkness of your fears and insecurities, often fuelled by feelings of;

• Not being 'good enough',
• Not being loved, or
• Not belonging

You may also become emotional when some of your other core-needs are not being met, such as:

• Physiological needs
• Financial needs
• Need of security / safety
• Need of self-esteem respect, praise, achievement
• Need of personal growth
• Need to make a contribution
• Need of freedom, autonomy / independence
• Need of fairness / justice

And you may struggle with your emotions if you hold onto unhealthy beliefs that can never be satisfied, for example:

• "I must be wealthier to be financially safe"
• "I must prove that I am better than people think I am..."
• "I must become the best at..."
• "Others owe me respect / obedience..."

Whilst coaching can best help you actualize your needs and evolve your belief system, a number of practices can help you enhance your emotional health - please be invited to select a few from the following list that I've curated for your emotional well-being!

Healthy Practice #1 - Do Walk!

Just keep in mind: "a vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world." (Paul Dudley White)

Healthy Practice #2 - Power your Life with (at least) 3 boosters!

Imagine you would walk on 3 feet... When one or even two are weak, you can still move ahead. The same principle applies to positivity boosters. So find yourself a third passion besides family and work. It can be sport, community work, arts, gardening, travelling... as long as it keep you positively moving forward.

Healthy Practice #3 - Identify your recurrent emotional triggers

Identify patterns, and then work-out the 'downward arrows technique', to build up an action plan to improve things; that technique is described on pages 11 & 12 of this document.

Healthy Practice #4 - Take responsibility for your emotions

Say "I feel angry", not "you make me angry".

When in conflict with another person, remember to address his/her behaviour(s) and not to criticise the person.

Healthy Practice #5 - Hold yourself back from reacting immediately when you are upset

Imagine you just received that aggressive or disrespectful email and you are enraged. "Take-five" to cool down, and don’t respond before your adrenaline is fully released.

Go out for a 5-minute walk when the pressure is high, or just go the washroom and freshen your face; listen to your favourite soothing music for 5 minutes when you're ‘fuming’ inside; look for a while at an object or picture you love, until you calm down.

Then set up a face-to-face discussion when possible: they diffuse tensions way better than email wars!

Healthy Practice #6 - Don't sleep over your negative emotions

If they keep you awake, stand up from your bed and write them down, then apply the 'downward arrows technique' (again).

"If you can't sleep, then get up, and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep." - Dale Carnegie

Healthy Practice #7 - Focus on the positive, 5 minutes a day at least

Take five-minutes in the early morning to meditate or just reflect about the positive things in your life and what you can be grateful for.

Healthy Practice #8 - Consciously choose to see the positive in dangers

Train your mind to see the good in every situation, for in every risk/crisis, there is opportunity aside of danger. The Chinese chose to signify risk/crisis with these 2 characters.

"There is no education like adversity" - Benjamin Disraeli

So be thankful for the next challenge in your life or career and cheer yourself up: "I will rise to the occasion and learn from it".

Healthy Practice #9 - Start with 'Thank you' when you reply to a statement you believe to be hostile

When you perceive someone communicates aggressively with you, start your answer by 'Thank you for sharing your thoughts/feelings.' It helps 'disarm' your counterpart and shows you are not afraid.

When you believe someone is combative with you, ask her/him: "Can you please elaborate (on your intention here)?"

Healthy Practice #10 - Stay detached but empathise with the other party in a conflict

As Steven Covey phrased it: "Seek to understand first". Ask the 'opposing' party about their concerns, fears, beliefs, assumptions, interests before you share yours.

Healthy Practice #11 - Surround yourself with enough positive people

If some people stay deeply negative around you after you read this - invite them to go... and seek professional help.

Healthy Practice #12 - Do at least one kind act a day

With absolutely no expectation of return. Try it out! It does wonders to your inner happiness, which in turn keeps you more at peace.

Healthy Practice #13 - Tell 'significant others' they are important to you'

As easy as that is, it strengthens the relationship and enhances all parties' self-esteem. It makes it easy to address issues later on.

Healthy Practice #14 - Laugh enough... at least once a day!

"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron

Save short videos of your favourite stand-up comedians on your computer or smartphones and play them regularly.

Healthy Practice #15 - Give a long hug to someone you love! (at least once a day)

Seriously, research has shown that a 20 seconds hug releases oxytocin, the natural bonding hormone and neurotransmitter which is antidepressant and anti-anxiety.

For a partial illustration of a transformation towards greater emotional well-being, read pages 15 & 16 of this document. A word of caution though, those practices there will not help out a grieving or depressed person enough. I recommend to those grieving, suffering from insecurities or trauma from their past, or feeling depressed, to offer themselves sessions with a qualified support professional.

In the meantime, enjoy the above healthy practices for your greater well-being!

Jean-Fran?ois Cousin is a global leadership expert, speaker and executive coach, under the brand ‘Greatness Leadership Coaching’. In his book “Game Changers at the Circus: How Leaders Can Unleash Greatness in Their Organizations”, he shares practical and proven steps for leaders to enhance agile collaboration in a ‘VUCA’ world. He can be contacted at [email protected].