#14: The Implicit Goals Paradox

When chatting with my clients, we often discuss their long-term goals and ambitions. They share exciting plans about future roles they aspire to, the success they envision for their businesses, and the innovative products they aim to develop.?

But then I throw them a curveball: “Imagine you’ve achieved your goal. What important aspects of your life have you taken there with you, without which your achievements would feel meaningless or leave you unfulfilled?”

After a pause, they say, “If I'm too stressed and tired all the time to enjoy life, I doubt I could truly enjoy launching a global product.” “I wouldn't really enjoy receiving an award on stage if I were overweight and tired,” or “What's the point of becoming a CEO if my kids don't want to hang out with me?”?

So, everyone shares their crucial, non-negotiable components—one or two really important things. Without them, their accomplishments—even CEO status or business success—wouldn't make much sense.

Then, very often, I hear, "I've never asked myself this question before."

I call these things 'implicit goals.' They are often invisible but critical parts of our long-term vision for ourselves, our lives, and our success. Here's the paradox: despite their importance, they're rarely part of the agenda. All the resources throughout the day are allocated to explicit goals, leaving little to none for implicit ones. For instance, someone whose professional success won't bring joy if they lose touch with their children might not spend even an hour a week with them. It's like working on a project and overlooking a critical component that ultimately impacts the outcome—similar to building a house and forgetting to install a heating system.

These crucial things are often overlooked because people, especially those deeply driven by their work, might not even recognize these critical parts of their visions. As a result, their conscious efforts are optimized only for the visible aspects of a goal.

So here's the main risk: even if we pursue the right ambitions, we might not feel satisfied with the results after putting in a lot of effort, simply because we overlooked an important component.

What can we do about it? Start by figuring out your non-negotiables. It's simple—just go back to the question I asked at the start. Then, treat these implicit goals with as much importance as the explicit ones. A good way to begin is by looking at how you spend your week and making sure you're allocating time to these essential parts of your life.

To make these implicit goals more tangible, some people use visual cues, like marking them with a special color or symbol in their planners. For example, one of my clients, a techie who works like crazy, now dedicates Thursday evenings to uninterrupted family time, marked in blue on his calendar. This simple change has made a huge difference for him. Another client began paying real attention to his health, reasoning, “What's the point of working yourself to the bone if you won't be able to fully enjoy the life you're building?”

In summary: Let's take these implicit goals seriously. It's not about being maximalist or 'having it all'—it's about focusing on what's truly significant, the game changers. No career decision aimed at fulfillment will pan out if the really critical factors are overlooked.

This is the newsletter series about hidden biases that often cloud our career decisions. We’ll break down the 30 most important ones I've seen in my practice over the last decade—the ones people often say, 'I wish someone had told me about this earlier!'?

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Did this resonate with you or remind you of an experience you’ve had? Please share your insights and stories.