13 y/o Client Testimonial

I received this testimonial from a mother whose 13-year-old son I helped. Our work together went far beyond video games:

“Cristian has been a true blessing to our family. When we started with him, our 13 year old son was on ADHD stimulants and an antidepressant. He was drifting into a very dark place. Therapy and meds just weren't helping him. In fact, traditional therapy and meds were making him worse. Cristian focused on empowering our son instead of enabling him. It was not an easy road, but after 3 months of Cristian working with our family our son was off all medications! He supported our family on a much deeper level that no mental health professional was able to do. Our entire family grew spiritually and it all started with Cristian. Our son has been off meds for months. With a lot of hard work our son has shifted his mindset and has the desire to help himself. We thank God for Cristian coming into our lives. He helped our son move away from a very dark path and take control over himself. We believe he saved our son's life!”

Read the full testimonial below ????

"Our Story

Our son XXXX was diagnosed with ADHD by a neurological psychologist when he was 6 years old. When he was in 3rd grade his teachers had a lot of concerns about his ability to focus in class. At this point, we had tried multiple therapies, counselors, doctors and supplements to help him with his focus. A teacher who we respected said to us, "I know you have tried everything So now it's time to try meds." She was a very loving and wonderful teacher with 30 years of experience so we valued her opinion. We decided to put him on a stimulant medication that was managed by a psychiatrist. We had tried horse therapy, interactive metronome,natural supplements,physical therapy, occupational therapy, play therapy and Masgutova. We believed this was the only choice left for us. During the first 2 years our son was on medication it was working great. XXXX was an A/B student and we rarely got complaints about his behavior or focus in class. We didn't have any issue with him getting his homework done either.XXXX was always a happy and intelligent kid. His love for reading really took off when he was around 9 years old. XXXX was always a happy and intelligent kid. His love for reading really took off. He went from being pulled out for extra reading help to reading anything he could get his hands on. We assumed the meds were giving him the focus to realize how much he enjoyed reading. At this age, he was interested in video games and YouTube videos about gaming. We limited him to a couple of hours on the weekends and rarely did he get to play during the school week. Things seemed to be going just fine.

The most consistent comment we heard from teachers was that he was always smiling and happy.

At the start of his 6th grade year, he was doing well. He had friends and good grades. Puberty seemed to have hit him overnight. He was growing like a weed, he got acne and his voice changed. Then he started to drift. His focus was getting worse in his classes. His doctor believed he was growing so it was time to increase the dosage of his ADHD medication. He increased it multiple times over that year. With each increase we noticed our once very social and happy kid was developing social anxiety and complaining about intrusive thoughts. He had different tics that would come and go with each increase. His anxiety increased a lot that year. Understandably, he had more academic and social pressure. He felt like nobody liked him or understood him. This wasn't actually true, but he believed it was.

The doctor assured us it was going to calm down once his body adjusted to the higher dosage. He said his dosage was still on the lower end of what most people take.

We tried to lower his dosage to help him. It helped his mood, but then he was getting into trouble for talking and being disruptive at school. He could not focus on things he didn't enjoy without the meds. So we went back up in the dose. One day XXXX confessed to me that he was pulling out his hair because it gave him a lot of relief from his intrusive thoughts. He showed me the bald patch on his scalp. He said he had been thinking a lot about suicide and he couldn't stop the thoughts. His dad and I were terrified and we contacted his doctor immediately. His doctor recommended we put him on a 2nd drug to help with the side effects of the ADHD stimulant. The 2nd medication was an antidepressant. XXXX was so relieved that something was going to help him. At first, we did see improvement. He stopped pulling his hair and he said he had less intrusive thoughts and anxiety. This was over the summer so he didn't have the pressure of school on him. His doctor and his therapists assured me that XXX was going to be OK. We all believed he had intense compassion and feelings which made him a beautiful person. Unfortunately, it also hurt him because he wasn't able to understand his own emotions.

At the start of 7th grade things weren't going well from the first week back at school. He was zoning out more and more in class. He was also struggling socially. I started getting calls from teachers telling me his character was different. They were concerned about the change in him. He wasn't putting in much effort at school. He was getting in trouble a lot and he wasn't getting along with his classmates anymore. His behavior wasn't great at home either. He started lying. Something we had always bragged about him never doing. He seemed very hyper after school which was new. So his doctor added a 3rd medication to help take the edge off of his stimulant.

He didn't seem to worry about consequences; he was just acting on every impulsive thought he had. His self esteem was very low and he was convinced he didn't have any talent or hope for anything other than video games. He believed he had no friends and nobody liked him. Despite the limits we put on video games XXXX truly believed it was the only thing he cared about anymore. XXXX still had a desire to help himself but it was fading.

Our son always had a team of people in his corner. Teachers, therapists, coaches, friends and family all had a soft spot for him because of his heart. Despite all of this support he did not like himself. His self esteem and self worth was getting lower and lower.

Enter Cristian

My husband heard about Cristian and how he was helping men quit video games. He felt we should give him a call. I wasn't getting my hopes up because we had already done so much intervention and nothing was working. During my first phone conversation with Cristian, he explained that his program wasn't just about quitting gaming. It was more about learning how to get the most out of your life. He focused on mental, spiritual and physical behaviors. He explained his philosophy on why boys love gaming. His goal was to teach men that the joy they find in their pretend video game world could be achieved in the real world. This was such a fresh perspective and it made a lot of sense. Instead of villainizing the games he used them as a tool to get to the root of the issues.

It made sense to me, but I didn't know how my son would feel about another person coming into the picture. I knew my son would have to want to work with Cristian and I wasn't sure if he would give it a shot. Cristian suggested that we show him some of his video content to see how he would react to it. When we showed him the video he was instantly interested in what Cristian had to say. He said, "I want to wake up excited about my life the same way I am excited to play my games." A couple of days later we set up a meeting at our home so Cristian and our son could meet. There was an immediate connection between the two of them. XXXX agreed to try his program for 90 days. I think it was exciting for XXXX to work with someone who was much younger than any therapist or teacher he had before. Cristian explained that they were going to get to know each other and become buddies.

At the start XXXX started meeting virtually with Cristian on a daily basis. He would visit in person every Saturday for a couple of hours. The 2 of them would talk and workout. XXXX enjoyed the in person visits. He really liked Cristian and felt very comfortable.

There were some challenges that popped up. Once Cristian left or their call ended XXXX seemed to go back to his old ways. We were not sure what was going to happen -but we stayed the course. We didn't expect anything to change overnight and we knew there would be an adjustment period. For example, XXXX wasn't finishing the small amount of reading or writing assignments Cristian asked him to do. Even though it wasn't a lot of work. XXXX had no desire to do anything other than chat with him on a call or see him at our house. Cristian was successful in getting him to workout when he was here in person. XXXX never did it on his own. He always struggled with self motivation so this wasn't anything we weren't used to.

As the weeks went by he would take 2 steps forward and then a step backwards. One day, out of the blue, XXXX announced he was going to stop gaming. Cristian never asked him to do this. It was 100% our son's choice! He actually had a plan to taper off and he did it along with our help. He soon regretted his decision- but we didn't let him go back on it. We knew he needed our help to get through it. We knew video games were a crutch for him. He did enjoy a lot of other things in life- he just preferred the quick fix of gaming. Gaming was just so easy and everything else seemed like so much work to him. We realized very quickly that video games were not really his problem. The root cause of his issues were his lack of desire to help himself. He was allowing darkness to take over his mind and was becoming a victim. Cristian realized this right away. He saw through it all and helped us see what was really happening. He kept telling XXXX over and over that he had the power to take control back. We could all feel that there was a part of him that wanted to help himself but the will to do so was weakening. His struggles peaked during the next 90 days.

During this time we were seeing a very good counselor on a weekly basis. XXXX was also enrolled in a martial arts program. The problem was XXXX was losing his desire to help himself. He had everyone on his side, but he didn't want to help himself. He started getting into a lot of trouble at school and he was pulling his hair again. The doctor only wanted to increase his meds again. Cristian has very strong feelings about medication. We didn't like our son being on medication- but we felt like we had no choice at all. Until things got so out of hand that we made the choice to take him off everything completely. Cristian had not only been helping our son, he was supporting us every day. He was always consistent in what he would say to us. For me, the hardest part was not allowing my compassion for my child to get in the way of parenting him. My emotions would make me second guess myself. Cristian was incredibly supportive. He is one of the best listeners I have ever met. His advice was incredibly helpful and always gave me peace. He wasn't just there for our son, he was there for our entire family. He truly cared about all of us.

90 days and beyond

I am a very protective and engaged mother. It took time for Cristian to earn my trust. God knows we went through a lot of different ups and downs with XXXX together. During this time, XXXX was drifting farther and farther away. He wasn't the same person. He was lying all the time and he was numb to everything. Life was so stressful. His hairline was missing so much hair that he could no longer cover it up. He didn't seem to care at all. He became aggressive too. We could not leave him alone. It was like having a baby in the house again. We were always worried about what he was going to do or say. It's hard for me to put into words what Cristian did for me and my family. He gave me mental clarity. With his support and wisdom, I was able to keep my emotions from getting in the way of what needed to be done. To stay the course. The first part of my awakening was realizing how much the labels and mental health rhetoric had confused us and enabled our child. I was able to see that our boy didn't need to be on any of these medications. They were a bandaid that did more harm than good. We decided to get him off of the 3 medications he was on. This was liberating in itself! We never thought we would be able to get him off or even consider it while he was in school.

Getting off the meds

The doctor managing our son's meds was not there for us at all. Despite my desperate voice mail messages telling him that our son was ripping his hair out in clumps and saying terrifying things. He wasn't there for us. We did have a good therapist who was trying to give us different methods but it was like throwing spaghetti at the wall. Nothing was really working. We kept trying. Cristian stayed with us through everything. This was way more than he signed up for. He supported not just our son but both my husband and I. There were times where I was 2nd guessing myself but Cristian was always there to remind me to stay the course. He was very insightful on some of our son's behaviors. He was usually spot on. We are forever grateful for putting our entire family on a path to spiritual wellness! We worked with Cristian for about 6 months. So we continued with Cristian for another 90 days. During this time, we worked together to change his environment, diet and lifestyle. Cristian's support is what allowed me to have mental clarity and focus. The first step was getting him off the meds. Then we needed to reset his lifestyle and environment. Soon I realized we didn't need the therapist any more because Cristian was saying the same things but in a self empowering way. I am grateful to the therapists, but I realized they were enabling him. They didn't mean to but they were making him weaker. Telling our son he had ADHD,OCD, and depression didn't help him at all. Even though they were trying to give him tools to help himself those labels and the meds were telling him something else. What he needed was to be taught that he had the ability to help himself. Cristian acknowledged all of our son's struggles -but he focused on teaching him how he could take control of them. We had to help him build himself up so he could take ownership. The ADHD meds did get him to focus better but the root of the problem wasn't being addressed.

Awakening

The first 30 days of getting him off the meds were really tough. His mind and body needed time to recover. Every week he seemed to take another step out of the fog he was in mentally. It was the hardest 30 days of my husband and my life. We created a military school environment at our house. We hired a trainer to get him physically fit.

He is still working with our son 2 times a day 6 days a week. This has replaced the medications. He has more confidence than ever now! His body is strong and he has a new outlook on life. It's been 5 months since he stopped taking the medication. He has grown spiritually, physically and mentally. He has a new appreciation of his family and his life. We are so proud of him and all he has accomplished. Cristian set us up on this path and we are forever grateful that God put him in our lives."