13 Ways Inner Peace Makes You the Most Powerful Person in the Room - Part One

I used to think of inner peace as utopian, a facade presented by spiritual gurus to scam people out of their money. Why? Because attaining inner peace felt impossible, especially in the world we inhabit today. How can we find tranquility when society constantly demands more—more hustle, more struggle, more titles, more status, more money, and more effort—all at a breakneck pace?

This next statement encapsulates, for me, the true essence of spirituality and why those who have mastered their inner landscape are often the most at peace.

Trigger warning: The following lines may be provocative for some, so please ensure you are seated and prepared before reading further.

In religion, the dread of hell looms in the future. In spirituality, wisdom is gained through transcending life's own hells.

This resonated deeply with me, as someone who identifies with both religion and spirituality. All my life, I've been taught to live in fear—fear of eternal damnation if I don’t abide by a particular set of rules. But religion aside, how many of us live in dread of life’s natural ebb and flow?

When things go well, we anxiously await the next setback. When misfortune strikes, we wallow in victimhood, turning our pain into prolonged suffering rather than converting it into the energy needed to rise again.

Many of us live in perpetual survival mode, fuelled by a litany of fears: fear of job loss, fear for the well-being of our loved ones, fear of societal rejection, fear of financial insecurity. We even fear speaking our truth, as the value placed on political correctness often outweighs truth and facts.

So, why wouldn't we want to cultivate inner peace as a life skill? Why consider inner peace elusive when it can liberate us from within, allowing us to tread the path of life with a lighter backpack and navigate challenges with grace and wisdom?

The commonly accepted definition of inner peace varies, but for me, it means aligning my mind, heart, and soul. The cognitive dissonance of holding conflicting beliefs is minimal, and I feel lighter.

Now, let's debunk the biggest myth about inner peace: it’s not a perpetual state of being. It's a skill set, a state you consciously practice and refine. Through experience, you can learn to enter this state more fluidly and effortlessly.

Another prevalent misconception is that inner peace is reserved for the 'nice' people, the weak, or those who are eternally optimistic.

I've found that some of the most peaceful individuals I’ve met are those who’ve journeyed through hell and back. I am one of them.

On the other side of profound struggle, you either emerge corrupted by life or armed with a sense of inner peace so powerful it feels like you've survived everything designed to break you.

Today, I share 7 reasons out of 13, from my own journey to illustrate why mastering the state of inner peace can make you the most powerful person in any room. And the best part?

You don't have to pass through hell to acquire this invaluable skill set.

The Mastery of Discernment Elevates Your Inner Peace

Imagine you're navigating through a forest. Relying on judgment is like having a map that labels areas as 'safe' or 'dangerous' based on someone else's assessments. Discernment, by contrast, equips you with a compass and the skills to read the natural signs—understanding how to evaluate the safety of a plant or anticipate a rainstorm. While judgment hands you a pre-made answer, discernment empowers you to find your own.

How many of us, myself included, often default to judgment in our day-to-day lives? This habit can mislead you, causing you to dislike innocence and value hypocrisy based on external narratives, rumors, or your own preconceived notions. Judgment can sow division and conflict, while discernment creates an environment where differences can exist without being labeled as 'good' or 'bad.'

As you become proficient in choosing discernment over judgment, you'll find that the negative emotions often spawned by judgment begin to fade. You create a space free of assumptions and biases, allowing for a sense of internal peace that is both liberating and grounding.

Inner Peace as Your Unbreachable Fortress

About a year ago, I was part of a part-time project on a temporary basis. It was a welcome change from the sometimes lonely path of entrepreneurship, offering a wonderful office culture and a seemingly ideal leader to report to—kind, soft-spoken, complimentary, and seemingly considerate.

However, that's the paradox of manipulative individuals; they initially put you at ease, only to subsequently act in ways that serve their interests at the expense of your well-being.

When someone engages in overtly controlling behavior—like raising their voice or openly abusing their power—it usually triggers our survival instincts. This immediate response helps us defend ourselves. However, those who employ subtler forms of emotional manipulation are often far more corrosive to our mental health and inner peace. By the time you decipher their true intentions, it's often too late.

For several months, I tolerated this manager's toxic tactics designed to provoke a reaction from me: ignoring emails, taking credit for my work, failing to keep promises, chronic tardiness, and badmouthing colleagues behind closed doors. I could not figure out how this person made it in such an important leadership position. Leadership comes with responsibility and accountability, which were non-existent in this case. They even employed victimhood as a manipulation tactic, trying to evoke everyone's sympathy to further their control. My colleagues complained about the late night and controlling texts, the gaslighting and disrespectful behaviour but nothing changed.

One day, political correctness will create an empty workforce, leaving organizations with a talent gap so large that they won't survive the social revolution that is happening.

Ultimately, I chose not to renew my contract, making it clear that no amount of money or office perks could entice me to compromise my inner peace and work with someone who had zero respect for people as human beings, no matter how kind and loving they looked on the outside.

Recovering from this experience took time and emotional labor, but it also equipped me with invaluable wisdom. I saw at as a painful refresher course to recognize red flags of toxic behaviour, strengthening my inner peace against future attempts to destabilize it.

The Alchemy of Turning Triggers into Lessons

Roughly two years ago, I faced a difficult period with my son. His rebelliousness escalated to a point that felt unbearable. I remember a specific incident where I picked him up from school, only to be informed of his unacceptable behavior. His subsequent outburst during our walk home left me praying to reach our destination without incident. I was a novice in handling such volatility as a single mom, and my initial reaction was to yell and banish him to his room—an approach that only escalated the situation. I ended the day emotionally drained, questioning my capabilities as a mother and human being.

In the following weeks and months, I sought help for both of us. I began to listen more attentively to his needs, thereby transforming the dynamics of our relationship.

No matter how tough things got, I held onto a single belief: the only way out was through.

Recently, life revisited this test upon me. My son had another intense outburst, albeit not as severe as before. But this time, I observed it as though it were a scene in a movie—I wasn't triggered. The angrier he got in trying to provoke me, the calmer I remained. In the end, he cooled off and apologized, resulting in a diffused situation. Amidst the chaos, I experienced a profound sense of inner peace.

You might wonder about the disciplinary takeaway. While he lost his gaming privileges until the age of 18, the real lesson transcended mere punishment.

Denying love as a form of discipline creates a distorted concept of love for a child. They grow up associating love with anger, ghosting, or a general lack of emotional reciprocity.

True unconditional love emanates from a place of inner peace, a place free from projections and emotional triggers. Having once lived in a state of emotional projection myself, I can attest that the serenity found in inner peace is far superior in every conceivable way.

Transcending Survival Mode to Live Authentically

Imagine holding a glass of water for minutes, then hours, and eventually, weeks. It doesn't take long to realize that the stress of the weight would become unbearable, potentially leading to paralysis. Stress, like that glass of water, is not inherently negative. It's the inability to put it down, to provide an outlet for relief, that leads to chronic stress and, eventually, burnout.

For a long time, I lived in survival mode, adopting a belief system that was more suited to the hierarchical environment of NATO than the entrepreneurial landscape. My daily life became a meticulous choreography of words and actions, all aimed at minimizing risk. This constant hyper-vigilance was a form of invisible stress that I hardly acknowledged, yet it sapped my energy continually.

It wasn't until I embraced my authentic self that I was able to step out of this exhausting dance. I discovered that the entrepreneurial grass wasn't any greener. A focus on profit over purpose and empty words over meaningful actions failed to align with my core beliefs. By centering myself and cultivating inner peace, I've now aligned my entrepreneurial journey with my true essence. The need for pretense has vanished, replaced by the courage to speak my truth without the shackles of political correctness or fear of upsetting the status quo.

Now, some might ask, isn't it hypocritical to speak your mind without regard for others' feelings?

This brings me to my next point: cultivating emotional resilience not just for ourselves but for future generations.

Develop a Skin as Thick as a Crocodile's

Firstly, there are people who seem to wake up every day looking for reasons to feel offended. These individuals are operating from a different emotional state than you. They've already decided who you are in their minds, even if they don't actually know you. They don't engage in self-reflection or cultivate emotional self-awareness, making their default coping mechanism a victim mentality. The more you engage with them, the more you feed into exhausting debates that drain your soul and leave your mind fogged. But when you're in a state of inner peace, you can see things for what they are. You remain emotionally detached and prioritize feeling good over proving you're right.

Secondly, we can examine the state of 'political correctness' around us and see that we have a long way to go in reversing the mental health crisis that is going on. I work on this with my son, and he doesn't like it. Yet, I have peace of mind knowing he won't crumble as soon as someone hurls hurtful words at him.

Just the other day, when I told him his words had deeply hurt me, he responded with a smirk:

"Get used to it; it won't be the last time someone tries to hurt you with their words."

My immediate thought was, "Yes! My boy is becoming emotionally resilient!" My next thought: Now, he's ready to learn about grace.

So, I said to him:

"Adam, so many times we burn bridges with others, especially those we love, when we fail to practice grace. Grace is that little voice inside your head telling you not to say or do what you're about to say or do when you're overwhelmed with intense negative emotions."

He rolled his eyes, but I know these messages are like seeds. Over time, they take root in his way of thinking. He does listen, he does reflect, and his behavior does change gradually through example.

Lastly, when you cultivate inner peace, your words are intentional. You think before you speak and tap into the power of empathy. If your intent is to harm, your words will carry that energy. But if you're aiming to speak your truth, set boundaries, and maintain your standards, your words will resonate differently.

If you are continuously affected by every word thrown at you or every opinion formed about you, you will keep draining your energy reserves. And as a result, you will perpetuate a life lived in survival mode, not one rooted in inner peace.

Mastering Your Inner Beast Through Inner Peace

Believe it or not, each of us houses an 'inner beast.' For some, this beast surfaces through aggression when they feel threatened, revealing they haven't learned to tame it. Others suppress this primal part of themselves through emotional or mental coping or manipulation mechanisms. But those who have found inner peace still acknowledge their inner beast—it's dormant, not deceased.

It's important to remember that some of the most tranquil and kind-hearted people also possess an equally intense shadow side. Without acknowledging and accepting this darker aspect of ourselves—the potential we have to inflict pain—we can't hope to control or temper it.

Let's be clear: you won't make it far in this world if you allow everyone to trample over you, if you let life's hurdles knock you down, or if you expect everyone to support you unfailingly. Life isn't fair; it never will be.

You don't nurture your inner beast to cause pain to others, but to empower yourself. You summon your inner beast when the light at the end of the tunnel seems nonexistent. You call upon it when those you considered friends abandon you in your hour of need. You engage it to drown out the discouraging voices and chase your dreams with resolute conviction. You invoke your inner beast to transcend your self-imposed limitations and fears. You work with your inner beast to build your character that carries more weight than titles ever will. When you have that inner beast under control, you can face fear so directly that it turns away and flees.

But an unrestrained inner beast, devoid of inner peace, is a cataclysm waiting to happen. The truly impactful people in the world are those who've harnessed their inner beast while maintaining a state of peace. You're aware they won't harm you, but you also understand they could if you mess with their inner peace.

Inner Peace as Your Anchor in Chaos

I recall a night, when my financial struggles were so dire I couldn't afford rent. My son sensed the shift—our meals were simpler, the gifts ceased. It seemed like our world was disintegrating, and I had no ready solutions. Despite this outer turmoil, an inexplicable inner peace anchored me. Looking into my son's eyes, I made a promise: we would not only be okay, but we'd achieve a level of financial freedom and fulfillment that would make us grateful for persevering. My inner peace allowed me to focus not on my problems, but on crafting step-by-step solutions.

Imagine you're trapped in an elevator. Would you prefer to be with someone who panics at the slightest problem, amplifying stress, or with someone who exudes inner peace, providing a calming influence that allows clear thinking and decisive action? In crisis situations, would you want to rely on someone acting from a place of fear, making hasty, disastrous decisions, or someone calm, composed, and confident, who collaboratively harnesses their 'inner beast' in a peaceful manner to navigate through the crisis?

Inner peace allows you to operate during challenging times because if you succumb to life's challenges, you will never develop the inner strength to get up, no matter how many times you fall down.

You see, you are not built to break. You are bigger than your problems, you are not defined by people's opinions, and your greatness comes alive during your darkest times.

In Part One of my series on why inner peace empowers you to be the most influential person in any room, I've explored the shadow aspects. Stay tuned for next week when we delve into the lighter side of this transformative journey.

If you're interested in learning how to merge serenity with success, however you define it, I invite you to explore my course, Success with Serenity.

Until next week, stay well and be at peace.

Love, Nadja ?? ?? ??