13 reasons & counting... behind the heartbreaking student tragedy in Kolkata

Trigger warning: Mention of abuse, violence, suicide.

I never thought I will ever come to write an article with such trigger warnings, and least of all on Linkedin. But the recent incident at a reputed university in my hometown has shaken us up to the core, and it is important for us to wake up to make amends to the system before... well. it's already late.

But better late than never, they say?

For the uninitiated, a brief glimpse of the incident can be found in a simple Google search. In rather juvenile words - "The first-year student of Bengali honours allegedly jumped from the second-floor balcony of the university’s main hostel on August 9 after he was allegedly ragged. He died at a hospital on August 10." - HT reports

Many of us have been obsessively reading up, discussing and discovering more and more unspeakable, dark facts that have been uncovered by media, police, observers, eyewitnesses, recollections by alumni students, etc.

That's what a "System Failure" look like, actually! Multiple factors ranging from administration to mental health, personal discernment to peer pressure, and beyond...

And for a System failure, we need to fix the system. Neither deflect, nor blame. But examine, reflect, review, consolidate, action. Urgently!

Especially as a fellow parent, this incident has not only deeply disturbed me but also reminded me how turning our face away from the discourse is no solution. This is the time to look at the issue in the eye. To look at systems, administrations, education system, parenting philosophy, and to look at children: who mirror it all.

We need to have conversations, we need to fix this before it's late.

And it's already late.

And it's not enough to take refuge in seeking justice, alone, through penalties and punishments.

For what is perhaps most disturbing in such discourses is the fact that we do NOT know what can actually help.

The reasons are intertwined, the culture runs deep roots, and the emotions are conflicting among the otherwise sane people.

Let's look at a quick list of how everything went wrong:

1. Anti-ragging committee - UGC regulations were not followed.

2. CCTV - There is no CCTV installed in the open public areas including the hostel balcony where the incident took place.

3. Gated entry - The students do not need to show ID cards to enter the premises.

4. Illegit hostel occupancy - Passouts and alumni continue to stay in campus, occupy rooms, and make such facilities scarce for the new admissions.

5. Separate hostel for First-year students - Talking of which, there is a provision for separate accommodation for new admissions which was not followed.

6. Whistleblowing - unheard of. No safety, confidentiality and protection. Huge threat of "what if" and "or else" looming over any voice that contemplates reporting to authority.

7. Role of Authority - And then, their timeliness, activeness and effectiveness - enough said!

8. Student Politics - the student bodies at the said university are many, intense, and are affiliated to organised politics. I am not getting into details here, for obvious reasons.

9. Powerplay - The aforementioned seniors and alumni/ pass-outs allegedly rule over the space and decide room allocation and other such provisions for the hostel

10. Academic elitism?- Many of the contrary voices - even in current times - are being countered by slogans such as "agey chance peye dekha" (First you make it to the merit list, then we talk). Even yesterday I came across multiple threads that said, anyone who comments on this issue, ask them: which batch, what roll number, and what qualification to participate in our matters. Unfortunately, this tragic response only results in divides and reflect poor taste.

11. Lack of bystanders?- Lack of whistleblowing culture directly threatens and reduces any roles bystanders could have played.

12. Alumni voices - Some people have a largely selective memory. Especially when it involves nostalgia.

13. Sadism & Sexual Perversion - Some of the narratives coming out both from that night's incident as well as recalls of accounts of older alumni paints an unspeakable picture of psychological, physiological and sexual torture. The boy's father mentions how his body is full of cigarette burns, for example.

14. Glorification of toxic masculinity - Allegedly, he was stripped and pressured to "prove" his "manhood". He was found in the same condition.

15. Sexuality shaming?- The boy (he was 17!) allegedly muttered and pleaded "ami gay noi" (I am not gay) in the face of what was happening to him, and also to his mother on the phone, just hours back. Until he could take it no more.

16. Sociopathy - Once the incident occurred, the students got the main gate locked and called a General Body meeting to immediately plan their next moves as a group, while debarring entry of police or paramedics. The child lay at the crime scene, bare bodied, bleeding away his life.?

17. Debarred police & ambulance entry - students stood guard and only let a yellow taxi and an auto-rickshaw enter to take the wounded out.

18. Herd behavior?- Many of the alumni and students, when confronted with conscience, vaguely admit they didn't what else to do or where to stop. At what exact point it crossed the limits and a joke became "harm".

20. Social condoning?& academic elitism?- Reprimand, but why? Media approaching the parents of accused and arrested children have the same exact words: Our kid? impossible!

21. Parenting roles - where do I even begin? Here's the thing. Many of us parents look the other way as parents as long as the report cards shine, bank accounts tinkle, and society validates our parental success with scalars of academic and career glory.

22. Lack of EQ in the education system - well. We are left career unready, society unready, and life unready much. The loss is paramount.

23. Mental health awareness - enough said.

I know, I know.

It was painful to read this note.

It was painful to write it, just as much.

Let this pain be our reminder.

We need to overhaul the system.

We. Need. To. Wake. Up.