13 Going on 40: 10 Tidbits of Wisdom for My Younger Self

Am I where I expected to be? Have I accomplished all the things I wanted by now? What else do I still want to accomplish? What could I have done differently?

After thoughtful reflection, the answers to those questions go something like: no, no, a lot, and a lot – respectively.

If I go a layer deeper, the reality is: I don’t know where I expected to be; I don’t know all the things I wanted to accomplish by now; I don’t know what else I still want to accomplish; and if I did many things differently, I wouldn’t be where I am today… and I quite like where I am.

I turned 13 in 1997 - about 10 years later than the girl in the movie referenced in my title. I was obsessed with the movie Titanic (Leo + Kate), reading Fear Street by R.L. Stine and teen magazines, calling radio stations over and over again to request my favorite songs, using babysitting money to buy CDs at Media Play, and although a good student, not thinking at all about my future.

If I could share some tidbits of wisdom with this younger version of myself, it would go something like:

1. Grades are important but not as important as you think. Give yourself room to fail, to be imperfect… to enjoy life outside of excelling in the classroom.
2. Be proud of who you are and how hard you work to achieve your goals. Growing up, you’ll know a lot of people who have much more than you, but there are so many people in this country and the world with far, far less. Be thankful for what you have; don’t waste time being bitter about what you don’t.?
3. Be just as proud of where you came from. Like that tree in your backyard, your roots will never go away; they’ll always be there. That doesn’t mean you can’t also nurture your desire to grow and branch out in new and different ways.?
4. Seek out experiences (sooner) that will broaden your perspective on the world. Trust your instincts that keep telling you there’s more to do, more to see, more to be a part of.
5. Keep setting goals for yourself. But don’t worry so much about planning every detail. Some things in life just need to happen on their own time. Enjoy the ride in the meantime. You’ll arrive at your destination when you’re meant to.?
6. People are in different places of their lives which means they have different priorities. One day you’ll be the one with young children and senior pets just trying to make it through the workday, one day at a time. It doesn’t mean they care any less about their job or well-being; there just aren’t enough hours in the day to do it all.?
7. Don’t be bothered by the adults who call you “bossy” or say you “have an attitude” because you aren’t afraid to lead or speak up at a young age. Cultivate that inclination and use it to do good.?
8. To that end, practice being brave in difficult situations. Like many, you foolishly believe this will get easier as you get older, but you’ll learn that the opposite is true. Practice now so you’re ready for the tough stuff.?
9. Never stop asking questions. You drive most adults crazy with your questions now, and that won’t change much over time. But thoughtful questions are what lead to better ideas, better solutions, better outcomes. Stay curious.
10. Develop healthy habits, both physical and mental. Not only will you feel better, but you’ll be better to others. ?No matter what, definitely don’t skip the cardio. You have no idea how many impromptu dance parties are likely to occur in your 40s.