13. Does networking leave you out in the cold?

Does networking leave you out in the cold?

In 1998, I became deeply aware of the power of social networking. It finally made me enjoy getting to know new people online. Note the word ‘social’.

This was a time when social media had not been invented and people actually enjoyed connecting deeply, and found getting to know the person they were connected to, was rewarding in many diverse ways.

We can’t always push against trends in business, we need to adapt and understand the world of online communication, since 2009, social networking has been pretty much dropped and a more transactional method of connecting has been adopted. Social Media overtook Social Networking, broadcast, replaced conversation.

The ways people tend to use ‘social media’ is far more like my first experience of sales, back in 1983 when I was taught telesales. A volume play, whereby you seek to generate a conversation with of as many people each day, prompted with a similar message and hope that your message lands positively, at the right time to the right person, and often it can. Systems like LinkedIn have enabled many automated messaging, today, for example, I received 10’s of ‘congratulations on my work anniversary’ for example.

This is selling, perhaps at best, a shake of the hand from a passer-by, but it is not social networking, and I am okay about that. I am polite when I get an unexpected connection that seeks to sell to me, in the same way that I hoped, when I was doing telesales, that the person at the end of the phone would not be rude. I have a deep awareness that we all need to feed ourselves somehow, and we all have varying skills at achieving this.

Then there is the concept of pure Networking. this is far more blurred as a skill. Often shrouded in friendly chat, we all know, that most of the time the agenda is to qualify you in or out of the ‘useful to know’ bucket. Done online or offline, it is as subtle as the person doing it!

I love sales, I love friendship, I do not love networking. I guess I am rather desperate for transparency when I engage with people and I like to serve them best in the time given, and if they are purely seeking a direct business relationship, then tell me that, I can live with that, when it is honest and transparent.

My worst moments in business are when I used to attend Networking Events. My confidence would literally be in the toilet. All my ability to connect and walk up to strangers would leave me and I would stand out in the cold, frightened to approach people who were already having a conversation. the sense of three’s a crowd would prevail in my head. When forced into these places, I would usually end up sitting in the loos at events and desperately wait for the opportunity to leave. This might surprise many of you that know me, I don’t lack social confidence, however, I do lack confidence in business networking. Asking me to stand and do a 30 second ‘elevator pitch’, is hell. Asking me to stand in front of thousands and share what I believe in and am passionate about, is heaven.

The past 5 years of social media mania is starting to dwindle in my opinion. The posts, like this one, will get less and less eyeballs and interaction; people tell me that they rarely browse, they just post. Well, that reminds me of a moment at a Networking event when the leader stood up and said “who is here to sell?’, 90% of the room put their hand up, and “who is here to buy?” and no one put their hand up. Content is great validation of skills and beliefs, and so I will always do it, hoping that my content has some impact at the right time and lends a hand in my credibility on a subject. So I won’t stop writing. However, networking in the 2010 decade style of winning business is dwindling and we are seeing the emergence of the word ‘Community’ now.

This makes me so happy, community is about providing connection, a culture of contribution and makes people feel they are significant to one another. Image being in a place like that, or creating a place like that.

Change is happening, perhaps faster than we realise and they are guided by our human needs, not by machines, how wonderful!