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?? They say we all need somebody. I say, I need me. I need money. But somebody, well it isn’t a necessary need. I can use somebody. But need???? I can’t congregate those thoughts. I lost my need years ago. Back in 2013, maybe 2014. It was three to four years into my homelessness and no one around cared I was homeless. I slept in a record breaking snow, that beat records of 1996 length of snow, and right before the snow hit my siblings called as a way to rub in my face how happy they were that I was living in a horrific situation. Granted, they never said that. But their excitement and consistent desire to call me at moments before bad weather told me they enjoyed my difficulties. By this time I had been living outside on and off since 2010. Yes, that makes 3 to 4 years of Homelessness. The winter snow hit and all I had was about $30 in my pocket. I spent $15 of that for the night on an extremely thin blanket, which probably was for toddlers,? in which, I bought out of a convenience store. I was sitting? right outside of a local store on the sidewalk that had just enough overhead covering to keep the snow from falling on top of me. I could only sit with my knees to my chest because that's the only way I could stay under the overhead covering without snow touching me. At those very moments, as the snow fell down I knew my days of needing someone had to be over. Years ago in 2010 prior to this current default? I lost my place and my child's mother left me before my child was born. The only joy I ever dreamed of was having a family of my own had been was swept away from me. So, me sleeping in this blizzard weather was the icing on the cake for my need for people or anyone to become non existent.?
? I needed someone on the lonely days, during the difficult times when I didn’t understand anything. It’s like needing a life guard when you are drowning in a pool and don’t know how to swim. But instead you are left drowning with everyone knowing and aware you can’t swim. Yet some how you muster the strength to swim without help and people hoping you drown and sink. It is 2024 and I am 14 years in. If homelessness was considered drowning in a pool. I guess I would be in an ocean swimming, still trying to get to land. I guess land would be a home and place to stay. 14 years later and these imbeciles still think I haven't experienced nothing. Well that is barely the beginning of my difficulties. There’s more!!!!
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By Sean Perry