12 Years, 12 Lessons

This week marked a special occasion for me. On August 25th, 2008, I arrived in Hong Kong for the first time, representing both a college acceptance and a life decision. To say that it has been a rat race is perhaps a bit too much of a poor blend of culturally influenced puns, even for this city, but it's also true that the pace is too high to make it even remotely possible to post this on a Tuesday when I'm working, which was the ambition. Looking back, I remember that I instantly felt that if I could cut it here then I could anywhere, and it became an obsession of mine. I'm still not there, but what better time to reflect as I now complete one lap around the zodiac, book-ended by two extremely transformative global crises? Here are the 12 most important lessons I've personally learned, either in a professional or personal context.

鼠 Rat, 2008. Lesson 1 - Humility

This was the year I had to come to terms with not knowing anything - be it in finance, in school, or in life. Moving continents and enrolling in a university I was woefully unprepared to attend while a financial crisis raged and I got in way over my head with all the opportunities on offer, I took a lot of hard hits here. Going from "the nerdy science guy" in basically every one of my circles of friends, to some loser it was better to not talk to in case 'poor grades' were contagious was not easy. Nor was making and losing more money than I had ever thought of before via the stock market very healthy. Combined with things like there not being anyone to prepare all the celebrating my parents had spoiled me with, and realizing that I actually had to take care of myself when sick (the horror), this was a bit of a wake-up year that showed me humility. Saying that one has learned that trait though, is a bit... counterproductive.

But nimbleness, adaptibility, choosing friends and learning to interact out of my comfort zone and in situations that were not necessarily on my terms were definitely traits and skills that made me learn when to turn down an appetizing slice of cheese.

牛 Ox, 2009. Lesson 2 - Focus

This was a year that I don't... truly remember a lot of. there was a lot of effort that went in here, based on just really tough course work. I decided to make it even tougher on myself, with the goal to have a chance of enjoying my last year of university, and loaded up on even more classes. This combined with running a student society was brutal and required a lot more focus of me than I have ever needed before. I know that I can do it now, but it was a lesson that came at the cost of a year.

It might not have been the most fun, but looking back, if I wouldn't have put my head down, focused on putting one foot in front of the other, and just getting through plowing that field, I feel that my options now would be a lot more limited. Not saying that the bull-headed approach was net positive (I would consider faster ways of getting the same lessons if younger me would, well, no be so bull-headed), but I am saying that something good could grow out of that field I plowed up.

虎 Tiger, 2010. Lesson 3 - Exploration

From the first time I felt confident taking an internship at the "fresh" age of 20, to just exploring various courses, spare time activities and travel destinations, this was a very interesting year that allowed me to broaden my horizons and reflect a bit on the path I was on. Broadly, it felt right, but this was the first time I could realistically compare and contrast different experiences in a way that really allowed me to reflect. Up until this year, "myopic" is an apt description for much more than just my visual acuity. If I would have ran through a jungle this year, I would be easy prey for a camouflaged feline!

A whole (concrete) jungle to explore, and no threats to tamper the confidence, this was one of the better years I've had in Hong Kong! Also, money seemed to fall from the sky, so this was a time to really enjoy the fact that I cut down on my overall responsibilities. There were so many things that I had sown the seeds to that came due this year. It really helped me be open to success not needing to be measured on someone - everyone - else's schedule, and seek out experiences like a year in Taiwan!

兎 Rabbit, 2011. Lesson 4 - Appreciation

This was when I moved to Taiwan, and started studying Mandarin Chinese. It took up basically my whole existence for this period, but taught me to appreciate why I had struggled so much in the prior three years, taught me to come to terms with some of my earlier failings on a personal level, and taught me to appreciate just how much culture I had adopted but not appreciated in my choosing to stick around. The mechanic work of learning character stroke order - and repeating them dozens if not hundreds of times for every piece of homework - turned on a switch inside me that made me realize I had applied a Swedish learning style in an Asian university. As much as Sweden still shapes my thought patterns, there is always now the understanding of me perhaps being assessed not on finding a clever solution, but on delivering an adequate one confidently and on a really quick turnaround. It made me appreciate the context behind things I had heard in college like "If you've done the exercises you will not need a formula sheet for the thermodynamics exam." Rote learning is not a substitute for insight, but an impressive way to gain a basic understanding to build that insight from while also building resilience and efficiency,

Also, Taiwan is just a very fun place that I like a lot! This year I made incredible friends, and caught up with all the dumb, fun stuff I didn't have time for in my teens. It was the first time in years I had enjoyed and appreciated living life. It was more than just chasing the next high of securing some achievement, some options trade, some poker hand, or some girl. All of those came with their own blend of sleepless nights, frustrations, and heart-pounding stress, which seemed all so different in the heat of the moment but are really hard to distinguish any further with this much perspective. Being centered, mindful, and focusing on building myself to be worthy of all those things rather than fighting to get them was a better way to stay healthy while still getting to enjoy the good things in life.

A hare that cares not for where it jumps will not win any races, against tortoises and otherwise. And one that runs fast will likely not run far.

龍 Dragon, 2012. Lesson 5 - Valuation

More for life lessons than the financial concept. Not to deny that I took a class in it during my Master's degree, but it was very secondary to the valuation I could now put on my prior experiences. Because when that autumn started this degree was nothing more than the last chance I had to apply for "doing something meaningful" to avoid facing up to the fact that a year had gone by and I had not scored any job offers. This year really was the start of starting to value myself as a person more than a calculator, and valuing my most defining experiences as more than an investment of my youth hoping to earn some academic certificate paper. All the challenges I had gone through during university in learning complex and advanced concepts, structuring organizations, and establishing a new circle of friends really helped here. Coupled with the better cultural and educational understanding, this was a much easier time which gave me much better results.

Stepping away from a world-class institution into one where I could really take the additional time and talk to professors and aim to learn from them - rather than the books they taught from - was very helpful. The value was never in the desk I sat at in class, but in the teachers and their experiences. Rather than throwing myself like a half-cooked spaghetti at any wall I might stick to, I was more judicious with my activities than I had ever been at university, but still managed to balance studies with two or three part-time jobs while never feeling like I had to give up a good evening with friends for studies.

Although dragons might hoard gold and treasures in front of them, it is really their wisdom that holds the riches - a lizard in a vault of gems does not have the potential of a free dragon.

蛇 Snake, 2013. Lesson 6 - Timing

This was when I first let things take the time they needed. While I felt like I could have finished my Master's studies and thesis within 3 semesters, I did not see a reason to. Companies would be more keen on hiring fresh grads in the fall than in spring, I was sustaining myself financially, and actually enjoying the learning from being at university. No reason to writhe out into the cold hard reality when I could leverage on entering at the warmer, welcoming times.

I had never had a problem with delayed gratification, but one of the things I always feared was to "not follow the clock", and while I had learn to snooze the alarm that rang internally back in the spring of 2011 in Hong Kong, I had yet not learned to fully dismiss it before. Taking an extra semester to get the most out of my master's was a very out-of-character step for me! (Looking back, I was 3 years in after college and was worried about another 6 months...) Lying coiled up and waiting for the time to strike is productive, although it appears like nothing much is happening.

馬 Horse, 2014. Lesson 7 - Acceptance

This was not a great year by any stretch. At least I was in Taiwan. But even there going without a full-time job for a year was a challenge. I actually had to pick up a new skill set to get through. Some times, as hard and as long as you knock for, the doors may not open and some barriers I had not spent enough effort breaking down. Although only coming to that realization after 6 years was not ideal, it did teach me to learn varied skills such that if your primary bet doesn't work out, not so much is lost on it that you have to leave the poker table. Stay on and keep riding, even though I might not win any races. I saw the door to institutional risk taking at a trading desk close, and it opened my eyes to what else I could do. This helped me network in the startup space, research growth valuation models and how to raise capital, and look around. Surprisingly, an opportunity opened up through a prior part time job!

羊 Ram, 2015. Lesson 8 - Risk Tolerance

If you think that gambling, options trading, or moving around the world feel like big risks, then I would disagree. They feel insignificant compared to picking the wrong career path. I took two rather short-term jobs in this period, both with the ambition to aggressively turn around or grow the respective companies. Only in startup world would anyone let a fresh grad loose at corporate efforts like this I guess...

More than SaaS growth metrics, networking, or the challenges of living on a tight budget in Singapore while working 18 hour days for months on end, this year taught me about my risk tolerance. Because as fun and exciting as it is not knowing what in the world you are doing - and hence being forced to learn and network at lightning speed - it's not the greatest way of building a career, domain knowledge or financial security unless you are one of the 5% - 8% that make it. Not great odds. All the insights from the hard work were still there, but they didn't look like much on my resume. Imagine investing in a lot of good food and realizing that your cooking skills are bad so you pivot to making compost. Even when you succeed in making compost it will take a long time and additional effort to get any value out. Two jobs in twelve months that center on networking is a great way to build a wide but not necessarily deep stack of calling cards.

I learned that I had no challenge bashing my head against the wall, but in making sure that there was something worthwhile and realistic to get to on the other side.

猴 Monkey, 2016. Lesson 9 - Failure

This was not a fun year. I had managed to fail on multiple fronts: career-wise in securing a rebound, legally in managing to tie myself to Taiwan*, and financially in allowing myself to bet so hard on my prior ventures that my bank account would take a while to recover. A monkey that had swung from tree to tree and tried to cover a gap too far only to fall to the ground. Prior lessons didn't stick too closely.

• Legal issue, for clarity: I was declared a resident of Taiwan in 2015 for tax purposes and rolled that over in 2016, allowing no withholding tax to be taken out (roughly 40% of my salary). This really saved me from going into debt when staying in Singapore for the few months duration of a startup accelerator program. However, leaving that firm and having spent the first half of 2016 abroad from a Taiwanese perspective (and thus not accruing the days required for residency status) without paying the withholding tax meant that I would have to stay in Taiwan for the remainder of 2016 at least, or face tax / legal consequences likely to be the financial equivalent to at least a year of salary plus potential tax evasion registry entries with my name on it. The simpler and cheaper solution would simply be to stay in Taiwan to ensure the residency requirement for 2016 would be met, resolving all the issues.

And at my lowest, I learned that the best investment you can make is in spending the time and effort to make Really. Damn. Good. Friends. I would not remain in Asia if it weren't for you guys who supported me more than I can realistically ever repay. From the spare room where needed, to the part-time job to get me through and help recover enough finances to make flying around Asia for interviews feasible (not to mention having enough saved to cover a relocation), or the shoulder to cry on when the pressure and self-doubt just became too much, me getting through that year is all due to my friends. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I couldn't spend more time and thought to solve a problem, and where the sheer depth of the challenge made it seem impossible to solve at all. This was scary for me, and being scared isn't the best mindset to be left alone in. Thanks for being there.

I have been asked to do things since which would have impacted my ability to give back for all the favours I owe, or which might have strained relationships. Before this year I might have been willing to de-prioritize my friends, but after this year I know that jobs can come and go. What allows me to get through the latter experience should it happen involuntarily is the support of others, which is more important to me than any paycheck.

It isn't surprising that the job I have had since came through mutual friends!

雞 Rooster, 2017. Lesson - Character

The rooster rises like clockwork, and calls the rest of the world to activity. And as certain as that is the case, my character breaks in given situations I should be able to foresee. I had everything I had been so worried about seemingly always failing to get. Job, sensible housing, life in Hong Kong... and yet...

While not impacting my relationships where I could avoid it, I had a moment that, with no punches pulled, taught me just how painful of a person I can be to be around for those that become closest to me. It taught me just what it takes for me to become that person again, and made me reflect a lot more on my character and what I am willing to do for career, progress and achievements. Reconnecting and reaffirming my friendships was really important for me here. Thanks again! And luckily, I came out of this year plenty richer in terms of friends.

戌 Dog, 2018. Lesson - Growth

This was the first time I did something with real professional value that I felt I was good at which was both tangible and enjoyable. And it made a world of difference in how sustainable it was. Rather than running around and forcing the built of a network, it felt like it happened organically. Rather than forcing someone to mentor me I found people who genuinely wanted to take a stake in my growth. Rather than seeking out learning I felt like some of those business meetings almost brought me back to the classrooms in Taipei, learning from interacting with people who have valuable experience.

There is something to be said for growing out of adversity, but to really make use of those lessons I have needed to have the possibility of focusing on other things than the challenges I have set up for myself. If playing a couple of hands of poker against drunk people allows me to stack enough to step up to a bigger table - and play against better players to learn from - overall it will advance my game. I don't have to learn in all of the development areas at the same time. After all it will be difficult for anyone to give you any management responsibility if you are constantly challenging yourself so much that it looks like you can't handle yourself.

Dogs develop best from well-managed play and treats, after all!

豬 Boar, 2019. Lesson - Resilience

Things don't always go as planned. Projects you hoped to see to the end might get budget reductions, leaving you to have to see on the news if they ever go live. Things might happen in the broader world that closes you off from that world. And things might happen personally. But this year I really had the chance to review what resilience means, map out my future, and reconnect with the things that really matter. Rather than looking at the mud as a dirty depressing mess, learn from the pigs to roll around in it and have fun, before cleaning up and moving on.

Reflections on Going Full Circle

Having things I am passionate about to pour myself into offers me a lot more energy, allowing me to go through other challenges and draining experiences with much more ease. Putting some effort in every day, staying consistent and feeling like I can move the needle is something I like very much, to see progress being made. Failure doesn't seem so scary, because more than someone holding me to my worst moments in my life, I have learned to fear when I expect the best out of myself. Looking back on a history of growth is a meaningful exercise, and one I hope to take with me as I go into the next zodiac cycle here in Asia for me personally. Hopefully, that cycle will see me not reaching my potential but expanding it.

Have you ever heard of the version of hell where, at the end of it all, you meet and have to talk to the version of yourself you had the potential to be all along? A lot of people fear that a lot, seeing all the aspects of themselves they could have developed, where they could have been, what they could have done, how much they could have earned, who they could have inspired, etc. The reason why that scares me, reflected in my biggest failures, is that this person would have ran up towards their capacity. There would have been no further room for growth. Like running on an accelerating treadmill, having to run faster and faster just to stay still.

As one of those passion projects I have set for myself to challenge myself, grow, enjoy my time and have a record of development - my blog on the whisky investing journey I've set out on is now live and meaningfully populated!

While writing and recording things like this might seem egotistical, I've also learned that unless I imprint lessons really hard, I am bound to repeat the mistakes that led me there, as you might have seen if you read this far. So forgive me this indulgence, and let me know where these lessons might offer any value to you. After reading this far that's the least I owe you, and a meaningful ambition to add to my next 12 years.