12 ways to be more positive about speaking to yourself.

Just about everyone talks to themselves. I do it all the time.

The difference, many people conduct an extremely negative conversation.

It may seem harmless until you understand the psychology behind what's taking place.

Most people engage in negative self-talk. We recall negative events and childhood experiences that fan the flames of Self-doubt. Anger. Resentment. Fear. Guilt and shame which create a heightened sense of hopelessness.

Positive self-talk frames the world differently. We create a world of possibility based on optimism and self-confidence.

"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love." Brene Brown

Here are 12 ways to practice speaking to yourself more positively.

Higher calling. Believing in something bigger than yourself is a great place to start. All the evidence suggests people with strong faith lead happier lives.  They posses more; confidence, self-esteem, and humility.

Remove toxic people. I talked about this in an article I wrote last year. 8 toxic people to be avoided at all cost. I suggest reading that article to identify the toxic personality types that reinforce our negative discourse. Keep negativity under control and your demeanor will change. 

Gratitude. When we express gratitude each day, we get in the habit of speaking to our self with a positive vernacular dedicated to good fortune and contentment. Get into the habit of conducting a daily conversation based on gratitude. Your attitude will change immediately.

No comparisons. When we constantly compare our self to other people, it creates a litany of negative feelings. Focus on yourself and don't buy into the bs on social media. Most people pontificating about success are posers. They are struggling to become "influential" so they can use popularity as tool for getting rich. 99% never do. Real influence looks vastly different and influential people don't have time to make comparisons.

Words matter. Speak to yourself and other people without impunity. Negative thoughts lead to negative words. This can become habitual and smart people pick up on it. Intelligent people recognize toxicity immediately. Remove negative words from your vocabulary and watch the quality of your friendships improve.

Believe. Self-doubt is a sure way to guarantee failure. If you show up for an interview already believing you are under-qualified, you lose. Learn to believe in yourself. You may be the only one that does.

"If you hear a voice within you say, 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." Vincent Van Gogh

No fear. Fear is the main reason people castigate themselves. Reciting failures and rehearsing a diatribe of negativity will ensure paralysis. Once we let fear of failure take root, it is exceedingly difficult to remove. Work smart and overcome failure by realizing it is not fatal.

Think positive. Replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. Catch yourself being negative and correct it immediately. Positive affirmations help and so does focusing on things you can control. I am strong. I am capable. I am proud of myself. Sound silly. Try it.

No ruminating.  Living in the past is a common problem. If we are not focused on the present and looking to the future with hope and optimism, we are likely dwelling on the past. Except for occasional good memories, leave the past behind. Get present and create a beautiful future.

Get fit. One of my four tenets of equanimity is better health, mentally and physically. Focus on better health and productivity will soar. In addition, you will create a steady stream of the positive chemicals in your brain naturally.

Visualize. Visualize yourself succeeding and picture that positive feelings that coincide with success. Then set off to make it happen with a solid plan and plenty of discipline!

Less news. Limit your intake of the bs on television. News today is nothing more than opinion programming driven by big business with political agendas. Toss in narcissistic journalist with massive egos and little integrity, and you have a recipe for disinformation. Most people consume information that reaffirms their distorted bias. Do not make this mistake and your negative talk will have one less thing to lament about.

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." Oscar Wilde

Sum it up

Learning to communicate with our self is critically important to eliminate the incessant noise of negativity.

What are some of the ways you reduce negative self-talk? Share your thoughts in the comments section and please like and share this article. I love learning from you as well.

About Steve:

Steve Wohlenhaus is CEO of Weatherology, the leading company in the world at disseminating audio weather information.  Steve began his career as a major market television weather anchor in Minneapolis, where he received several Emmy Awards for science programming. Steve is an author and host of the podcast program Anatomy of Success. Reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn!