12 Things I'd Tell My 21-Year-Old Self

End of year conversations. A lot of them have been leading to reflecting on this past year and making plans for 2019. I can now say I have a decade of wisdom to share to someone like me 10 years ago.

I just finished listening to the 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B Person. Who reads anymore, anyway? (This is quite lengthy so feel free to cut to the short list at the bottom if reading isn't your thing. We do, after all, live in a world of Instagram and instant gratification.) This prompted me to think on what I would have liked to understand back then.

Practice self love.

No one talked about this when I was growing up.

It's OK to be alone.

Practice self care.

Moisturize. Wear sunscreen. Exercise. Stretch. Tell yourself you are enough...

I heard it all the time but rarely did I understand its importance. The little things you do or don't do add up. By the time I hit 30, I felt the impact of those choices. Do yourself a favor and start those things now, no matter where you are.

Forgive and let go.

Holding a grudge has so much negative influence. Not only is it a mental blocker, it has physical manifestations.

I was only hurting myself holding on anger and resentment. The other person had no clue how they impacted me years ago and no idea what I was going through because of it. The only person was suffering was ME.

Declutter your emotional space as well as your physical space. People attach a lot of feeling and emotion to 'things.'

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Find a creative outlet.

Music, art, dance. Try it all!

I've fallen in love with a phrase I heard a few years back and keep this in my planner as a constant reminder -

Find 3 hobbies that you love... One to make you money, one to keep you in shape, one to be creative.

Life is not all about work like I used to think. It's about enjoying life. While it may come sooner or later, be on the look out for happiness and creativity!

Write. A lot.

Learn to express and articulate yourself. Writing helps you become a better and more confident speaker.

Writing helps express feelings that might not otherwise be shared or understood by someone else.

An app popped up on my phone to try. Day One. This is quite serendipitous since I've been talking about writing more. This app is supposed to help enable daily journaling and allow you to easily capture your moments in text, photos, and audio.

Travel.

I always perceived traveling as a luxury. I also made excuses why I couldn't do it. Whether it was "I'm too busy right now" or "I'm too broke" or "I'm busy AND broke," I didn't take action to break this cycle. I also had a fear of traveling alone. There are times I longingly reflect on "the summer I could have backpacked through Europe" or "the East Asia enlightenment adventure I didn't take."

Experiencing different cultures gives us a deeper perspective on life and enriches the colors of our own.

There are companies out there like The Table Less Traveled that I came across that solve all of my inhibitions I mention above.

Ask lots of questions, then listen.

Miscommunication has been a source of a lot of conflict in my past. Lack of clarity let to problems at work and at home. I now intentionally try to ask a lot of question. The more important part to this equation is actively listening. I'm not great at it by any means, but I try to be better at it each time.

Ask for help.

It's OK to be vulnerable.

Boy did I have feelings. I was always scared of being judged or someone seeing that I wasn't perfect. No one is. It's the hardest thing in the world to admit sometimes, but the reward can mean the difference of failure and success.

Never stop learning.

No one says you need 3 degrees to be successful. There are a myriad of ways to stay educated without going completely broke.

I then decided I wanted to get into tech but had no technical knowledge or experience.

In lieu of going back for another 4-year degree, I opted for non-traditional education: short-term bootcamp immersive. While the courses aren't accredited, institutions like General Assembly offer real-world experience, networking, and career-relevant knowledge. They have built up enough relevance and reputation that employers have a level of respect for GA on a resume.

This was a fit for me. Self development. Growth mindset. The perpetual student.

Create a vision boards and write out your goals.

Goal setting takes practice. I learned the concept of writing my 10-year vision and began the practice of writing my goals while working at lululemon. Part of new hire on-boarding is to have all employees complete a goals worksheet. While I could list things that I wanted to do in the next year with ease, writing about my life in 10 years was daunting!

With each attempt at rewriting and refining the words that made up my 10-year vision, the picture got clearer. I didn't know what company I wanted to work at or which city I would be in, but I learned what kind of company I wanted to work for, the people I wanted to surround myself with, the feeling of accomplishment and self-worth I wanted to posses.

If you are an employer or lead a team, I highly recommend incorporating extra curricular goal-setting activities to help develop your people and see where they want to be within your team or company.

Write down your accomplishments.

I recently discovered an amazing little planner changed the way I reflect on my week, month, and year. This concept is new to me but makes perfect sense!

I love the fact that my planner prompts me to review my accomplishments weekly. By the end of the year, there is a page to choose my top achievements. The idea is simple, yet can have a huge impact on asking for a promotion or writing a great resume to land that next job.

Try the Ink and Volt planner achievements tracker for yourself!

Find a mentor.

This is my most impactful lesson. I didn't understand the value of a mentor until I hit 30.

Once I learned the power of having a mentor and that most successful people had one, I came to my next roadblock. How do I get one?

This is the best part - Just ask. It's that simple.

Don't just ask anyone. Find someone you believe in, that you can learn from. Do your homework. I compare it to dating. Find the professional things you want to learn from in a person and ask them for coffee. Yes, you'll get turned down. Even a lot. But the day you get a yes from a person you look up to can literally change the trajectory of your life.

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There you have it!

Here are the cliff notes:

1. Practice self love.
2. Practice self care.
3. Forgive and let go.
4. Find a creative outlet.
5. Write. A lot.
6. Travel.
7. Ask for help.
8. Ask lots of questions.
9. Never stop learning.
10. Create a vision boards and write out your goals.
11. Write down your accomplishments.
12. Find a mentor.

Note: All references and links are to help whoever is reading this based on my personal experience. This is not a sponsored post. Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash