#12: Responsibility: Give or Take

In the dream world of many managers, tasks are assigned, and people take them—as simple as that. The reality, however, is harsh. Teammates question the nature of tasks and the authority of a manager and ask so many questions. Jeez. As an indirect consequence of that, there are a lot of trainings and classes on how to motivate your team or how to make them more responsible. Or how to make them live up to the commitments they take so lightly sometimes.

Unfortunately for carrot-or-stick seekers, the responsibility does not grow on a tree. As with any other value-based conflict, it is almost impossible to resolve it, let alone by giving the responsibility to others. It only works when people are ready to take it by their own will. Christopher Avery described the defense mechanisms of taking responsibility in his amazing book The Responsibility Process. In a nutshell, he offers a nice schema:

• Denial: The initial reaction to a problem is often denial. We may overlook or minimize the issue, hoping it will resolve itself or simply disappear. My project charts show that we are starting to overuse the budget. I refuse to take action since the deviation is "so small."
• Lay Blame: When denial proves unsustainable, the next stage involves assigning blame to external factors or other individuals. This phase can be characterized by finger-pointing and deflection of responsibility. When confronted, I blame my lazy team or unresponsive stakeholders for the budget overrun.
• Justify: Following blame, individuals may seek to justify their actions or the situation. Rationalizations and excuses become prevalent as we attempt to alleviate feelings of guilt or shame. I convince myself that I am an outstanding manager and that I did everything by the book to avoid a budget overrun.
• Shame: As the weight of responsibility becomes apparent, individuals may experience feelings of shame or self-doubt. This stage can be particularly challenging, as it requires confronting personal limitations and failures. I blame myself for being the incompetent moron.
• Obligation: Moving beyond shame, individuals may recognize the obligation to address the problem or take action. While this stage represents progress, it still lacks the full embrace of responsibility. Since I do not have another choice, I HAVE TO deal with it. I am trapped.
• Responsibility: True responsibility entails acknowledging our role in the situation and actively seeking solutions. It involves a willingness to own our actions, learn from mistakes, and strive for improvement. I am bigger than the problem. I have all the means and competencies to solve it. Then, I learn from my mistakes to avoid them in the future.

Sometimes, the weight of responsibility may feel overwhelming, leading individuals to consider quitting or giving up. This stage is a critical juncture where perseverance and resilience are tested. It's important to recognize that quitting is a temporary escape and does not ultimately resolve the underlying issue.

The goal isn’t to be able to say, “I’m always in Responsibility, and I never fall out of Responsibility.” The goal of knowing and practicing The Responsibility Process is to recognize the real problem and to pull ourselves up to the place where we can actually solve it. It lets you be conscious about your current state and the future steps.

The biggest insight from this all?

The Responsibility Process only works when self-applied.

Good luck!