Now that the COVID threat is more or less contained, many people have reverted to the bare-faced look. My own opinion is that it’s safest to keep your mask on not only if you have existing health conditions, but anytime life is stressful and your immune system is already overworked. But enough about “mask up for health,” on which everyone has heard enough to last three lifetimes. I'm here to tell you that a mask has multiple practical uses beyond the obvious.
- Sun shield.?Going outdoors at high noon? Slip on an extra barrier between your face and those nasty ultraviolet rays.
- Sneeze guard.?Even noncontagious allergy sneezes (or loose saliva droplets, if you’re given to enthusiastic chatter) can be bad for your social life. Block off their escape routes.
- Air freshener.?That is, if you had garlic for lunch and can’t brush your teeth immediately, a face covering will keep the air in your vicinity a tad fresher.
- Diet aid.?The extra step of unmasking buys you an extra moment to think before dipping into that office snack bowl.
- Makeup alternative.?Got acne or age spots? A mask provides a quick and easy covering job.
- Haircut relief provider. If your barbers are like mine, insisting on bare-faced haircuts comes at the price of stray clippings up your nose.
- Face warmer.?On a cold winter day, a mask stays over your nose and mouth better than a traditional scarf. (Many masks provide warmth only until your breath saturates them, but one can’t have?everything?perfect.)
- No-refills signal.?Traditional etiquette frowns on covering your glass to signal you’ve had enough wine or coffee—so cover your mouth instead. (Hey, anything’s worth a try when it comes to overenthusiastic servers!)
- “Introvert” signal.?If you were a social distancer at heart long before the pandemic, a mask can discourage pesky extroverts from talking right in your face or greeting you with an unwanted hug.
- Passive-observation assistant.?Ever been unpleasantly surprised by a concert director demanding, “Now everyone sing along on this one”—when you can’t, or hate to, sing? If you have a mask on, no one need know that your mouth isn’t actually moving.
- Tactlessness enabler.?Covering your mouth also makes it?somewhat?less likely that others will overhear what you mumble about them under your breath. (This author disclaims all legal responsibility if your target has sharper ears than anticipated.)
- Fashion accessory.?If you’re still determined that your face-covering days are over, but have cloth masks too pretty to throw away, convert them into bandannas or headbands. Or save them for Halloween, or another occasion where everyone wears masks without fear of political arguments!
