12 Lessons I Learnt In 2014

How was your 2014? Was it the best year of your life ? Or was it perhaps the worst year of your life? Whatever type of year it was I'm sure you encompassed dozens of milestones and life lessons which produced a breakthrough within you. Let me share with you the 12 lessons I had learned in 2014.

1) Pays off to bite your tongue

Are you a natural born fighter? Someone who will never ever give up and is totally convinced that you need to "fight" for what you believe in? I "was". That was until I realized last year.. That sometimes no matter how much you believe in your vision and no matter how influential you are in your command of language there are people who will continue to be stuck in their own ways and have no interest in keeping an open mind or will give you the light of day even if it means opening themselves up to the abundant number of opportunities that are present in this phenomenal world. Don't take it personally. Sometimes people are not ready to hear what you have to say and it's more of a reflection of the phase they are going through.

2) Takes more strength and courage to walk away

This one can also be a further elaboration of the lesson above. Once you bite your tongue it certainly takes more strength and courage to just walk away. When you come to the conclusion that the matter being discussed at hand is leading down the "destructive path" and neither of each party is benefiting then it is best to thank them for their time and proceed with the strength to walk away. If need be, the matter can be further resolved in the near future but for the time being just accept the current state of things.

3) Real time gratitude

I'm an avid fan when it comes to the significance of "gratitude" and what it has done to change both my life and those around me. It just makes complete sense that "he who is thankful for what he has is worthy of more". But there's just one thing I find to be missing in so many of these gratitude related books, article, etc. and that is this.. that most gratitude which is taught is indeed a "reactive" approach. We will proceed with having a great day, a great outing with our spouse or a jolly good time with friends and family.. and then perhaps the next day, the next week or even the next month we will choose to reflect and be thankful of that particular moment.

So what's wrong with this? Well by then, that particular memorable experience would have just become a distant memory. Now I'm not saying that reactive gratitude is insignificant.. I just want to point out that there is indeed a more strategic and rewarding way of maximizing the value of gratitude in a way others may not have told you in the past.

And that is: "real time gratitude". The act of being thankful in the moment. Why is this so significant?

1) It allows you to further enrich the experience of that particular moment.

The next time you're at dinner with a spouse, family or friends or any other significant person in your life . Just pause for a moment (not too long otherwise you may wander off into fairy land) and name 3 things which are thankful for in that particular moment. It could be that you are extremely thankful to have such a beautiful spouse, a loving family or even such supportive friends. I could list a thousand examples but I'll let you unleash your creativity within this exercise.

2) Allows you to be more present.

Once you do the above step you will then notice a shift in consciousness and your ability to further maximize the time you are spending with those who are currently with you. Not only will you be happier and much more vibrant but also further pleasant to be around which will make the other people around you have an even greater time!

4) Don't stop believing

When I started my first business back in 2009 I thought that I had encompassed a huge amount of resistance from those around me. 99% of people told me "I would fail" and that "I had no hope". Fast forward to 2014 and I had realized that I had tripled my level of success in all areas by cutting out those 99%. Sound a little harsh? Hey, we are all here to do remarkable things in this world.. and when you know your big WHY and what gets you out of bed every morning then you owe it to both yourself and those who will be touched by your vision to uphold that vision. So cut out the "deadbeats" and don't ever stop believing in both yourself and your vision.

5) Reflection should be a daily habit

Reflection is somewhat like gratitude as it is also taught via a "reactive" approach but when performed proactively can significantly empower you to further be at your best self.

After all, how many times have you gone ahead and thought "Why didn't I think of this beforehand? I should have spent a little bit of time before making this silly decision." ?

Committing to making reflection a daily habit is paramount. I set aside 30mins every morning with my green tea with lemon and literally reflect on what's happened, what is happening right now and what I would like to happen moving forward. This simple 30 minutes daily habit allows me to adjust the flight of my course just like a skilled pilot would make micro adjustments to his navigation.

6) Value of detachment

After one has mastered "real time gratitude" you will inevitably realize that you will also benefit from the value of detachment. That is, the value of knowing how to detach yourself from unexpected or even unpredictable outcomes which a lot of the time are outside of our control. However, how many times have you been upset that "things didn't go according to plan", "that business deal didn't follow through" or the "relationship that could have been". This is strictly a result of being attached to the outcome which "we" wanted. Moreover, the act of expressing gratitude on a real time basis would have empowered us to enjoy the journey, the experience and taken the life lessons learnt during that entire process. Instead of being attached to "what could have been" shift your focus to being grateful for "what did I learn most in that particular moment?".

7) People will surprise you when you least expect it

The late, Jim Rohn once said "always stand guard of your life". This couldn't be more closer to the truth especially when you are a social butterfly like me who is constantly networking and meeting diverse types of people on a daily basis. However, the consequences will only happen once you choose to "let your guard down" or even worse "lower your standards of yourself and of others" so no matter what the occasion keep your standards high at all times for life, business, relationships or whatever field of life you are looking to transform.

For instance, are you halfway through doing a business deal only to find the prospective client has completely different values to you and simultaneously you're getting a bad gut feeling about it all? Don't do business with them. Wish them the best of luck and refer them to your competitor. Not only will you see it as a blessing in disguise but both you and that "client who could have been" will thank you for it in the near future.

Got a "friend" who is constantly trying to provide life advice but deep down inside is completely miserable with theirs? It's about time you reduced your time spent with them or just walk away.

By now, I'm sure you get the point.

8) You're either an entrepreneur or you're not

In 2014, I took a group of "friends" together and strategized an entire business model (all for a big cost of $0) which would allow anyone who had a passion to live life on their own terms (work whenever, work wherever) and a hunger to build a remarkable web based business to break them free from the "time for money" hamster wheel only to find that:

1) People don't appreciate "free". I thought mentoring and coaching a group of close friends for free was a gift from the heart but was in fact a not so strategic decision that had led to much frustration and the opportunity cost of missing out on helping others who were willing to maximize my mentorship and coaching as well as appreciate the transformational knowledge I would provide.

2) You can't convince someone to be an entrepreneur. They either have the entrepreneurial character (i.e. open mindedness, drive, willingness to add remarkable value, etc.) or they don't. Business skills can be built and crafted but character is either there or it isn't.

9) Continue caring more despite those who don't

"In a world that doesn't care less, BE someone who couldn't care more"

Although 8) had impacted me it just further encouraged me to care even more about my consulting and coaching clients who really do appreciate the hard work I do for them and if you are one of my clients reading this now, I would like to say a BIG thank you!

10) Stop searching for the "light"

One day we read "happiness is a journey not a destination" and another day we read "stick through it, there is always light at the end of the tunnel". So which do you follow? Option A or B? I challenge you to take on Option C: "You don't need to find the light. YOU are the light and when you let your personality shine through you can light up the world" - Sally Hogshead

Say Option C at least three times and I guarantee you will come to the realization that just by you deciding on making strategic decisions which further allow you to become more of being your best self that you indeed are in control of your own destiny.

11) Keep looking. Don't settle.

If you haven't yet noticed I'm not an entrepreneur who will sugar coat anything in life. I keep it real and speak with an open heart. No BS here. I won't say that 2014 was a smooth ride as there were dozens of times where I felt stuck, lonely and unsure of what decisions to make but thankfully I have an amazing mentor who has a holistic view of where I am and where I want to be and I tell you what, all too often we give up when we are "3 feet from gold", we give up too early before we reach that remarkable breakthrough only to find later on.. that the ship has already sailed or even worse, sunk. So when you find yourself in periods of darkness, uncertainty or the unknown just remember that "a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor".

12) Acceptance of reality

Are you an intense and curious character who always wants to know WHY? I sure am. But what did I "really" learn in 2014 in regards to trying to understand why? Why things sometimes don't go according to plan? But wait a second.. Isn't there a quote that says "if you fail to plan then you be plan to fail?" ? BS. That quote is only congruent 80% of the time.. for others who are daring enough to pursue the real 20% (creating something new which has never been tried or tested) then you will encompass times when the anticipated result could indeed be a 180 degree flip of what you wanted it to be. You are then faced with a decision.. either try to understand the irrational reason behind it all (which I don't really suggest as it was irrational for a reason) or you possess an acceptance of reality and continue moving forward closer to your goals.

So here's a summary of the 12 lessons I learnt in 2014:

1) Pays off to bite your tongue

2) Takes more strength and courage to walk away

3) Real time gratitude

4) Don't stop believing

5) Reflection should be a daily habit

6) Value of detachment

7) People will surprise you when you least expect it

8) You're either an entrepreneur or you're not

9) Continue caring more despite those who don't

10) Stop searching for the "light"

11) Keep looking. Don't settle

12) Acceptance of reality

So enlighten me, what did you learn most in 2014? Would love to hear your responses in the comments below. Wishing you a great 2015 and beyond!