12 First Date Do’s and Don’ts

By Margot Finley?

If you have ever introduced two people who fell in love, you may know the exquisite joy of receiving the wedding invitation, second only to the warm feelings of gratification when witnessing the “you may now kiss the bride” at the altar.

As I thought about one client’s betrothal and 'save the date’ I received this week, I couldn’t help but think of how far he had come, and considering where he started.??He was, as many successful people are, a bit less confident in the dating jungle.???What made a big difference for this client was dating guidance and style revamp in conjunction with his introduction.???Our clients are provided with personalized guidance, tailored to their needs, but some tips are universal and can be shared here, such as:

DO curate your social media.?It matters.??43% research their date's online presence and dates do get cancelled as a result.

DO be authentic.??The right one will be attracted to the real you.??Presenting as other than we are attracts people we were never meant to attract.

DON’T invite future heartache by demoting key criteria like values and compatible relationship goals when good looks walk in the door.??

DO ditch expectations of “I will know in the first five minutes”.???Attraction matters, but that highly sought-after intense initial rush can represent an unhealthy attraction rooted in childhood trauma and foreshadow the start of another unhealthy relationship pattern cycle.???

DON’T add to the number of people who are disillusioned about the opposite sex due to their negative experience dating.??Be kind.

DO turn your work thoughts (and cell phone of course) off and enjoy some flirty banter.

DO dress appropriately.??“Don’t wear a tank top to Capital Grill, and don’t wear Versace to the local pub,” says a friend.

DO widen your definition of a compatible mate by releasing the thought that you only have one "type."?????

DO reciprocate questions in a relaxed volley of sharing.??A monologue does not promote connection. Look online for great first date conversation starters if you need some ideas.??“He/she did not ask me any questions.”??When we hear this, a second date rarely happens.

DON’T share your private details too soon.??Self-disclosure should unfold gradually over time.

DON'T get lost talking about your heartaches, or your ex.??The number one conversation killer on a first date is past relationships (49%).

DO get in a good frame of mind, and for goodness' sake, do not complain or grumble.??Negativity is passion’s fire extinguisher.?

Please give yourself the grace to make mistakes and do not vilify yourself if you think you could have been or done better.???We all make gaffes and wish for do-overs but to expect yourself to be perfect is a needless burden.??

Dating experiences create great stories.?Relax, have some laughs and?you may just fall in love.