12 Common Limiting Beliefs and 3 Steps to Overcome Them

You are not "crazy."

You are not alone in the voices that come up in your head.

Last week, after a session where my client dismantled a 17-year-old thought pattern that had plagued them, and we finally got down to an understanding of the fear they have of intimacy, they looked at me and said, "Am I crazy?!"

"No," I said. "This is shockingly normal."

In my job, I get to see everyone's fears. I get to see their most vulnerable parts. We move through those fears together and unpick them, treating them like a necklace that has been abandoned and tangled and rusted in an old box.

We find the necklace, unpick the tangles, clean it off, and let the client wear it.

Understanding your fears and limiting beliefs and where they come from is the first step to transforming them.

This post is to normalize your fears and limiting beliefs and to help you move through them.

Common limiting beliefs I see in my business:

1. What if I start a business and no one will buy from me?
2. What if I leave corporate and I'm poor and homeless?
3. Who will date me if I’m fat?
4. What if I can’t find a partner?
5. What if I’m a bad parent?
6. How will I afford that house in Mossman?
7. What if I can’t have another child?
8. How am I going to get that job if I can only work six hours a day?
9. I should be working out more.
10. I shouldn’t be eating chocolate
11. I’m not good enough
12. I don’t deserve time off

In the first two weeks of my signature program, The Life & Work Transformation, I gather the common fears from our weekly exercises and present them. The same fears always come up.

I do this so everyone in the program knows they're not "crazy." Having these belief systems is "normal."

But you don't have to accept these beliefs, nor should you let them run your life.

Step 1: Observe. Do the same phrases come up over and over?

If it’s the same phrase, this fear likely belongs to a “part” of you stuck in time. Sometimes, these parts may think that you’re a child, and their behavior is trying to protect you, even though it can be damaging. The thought patterns are maladaptive and as a way of coping for that part.

Notice: is the voice/fear childlike?

Step 2: Find expanders.

Expanders are people who are living your dream life but a few steps ahead. For example, if you want to leave corporate for a more soul-aligned business, focus on finding people who have already done that and who show you it’s possible. Curate your social feeds, friend groups, group programs, and communities with these people.

Notice: do you regularly interact with people who are living your ideal life?

Step 3: Don’t ask “how.” Instead, ask “who.” -Tony Robbins

Focus on who can help you overcome your fears and get to your ideal life, instead of wondering how. If you knew how, you would have done it already. Find the people that can show you the way.

Notice: do you have the right support to take you to the next level of awareness?

Have you let your belief systems hold you back in life? If so, what steps are you taking to address them?