11 years ago today, I attempted suicide. Here are 11 lessons I've learned every year since.

1. It's okay to not be okay

You are not your situation. But it can teach, mold, and make you better. Sounds great, right? You know what sucks? Living it day-to-day. And it's in these moments that we need to give ourself grace to not be okay. Acknowledging this was the first step in getting help mentally after my attempt.?

2. Serving others is the best medicine

It was easy to let myself fall into the trap of being a victim. This still happens and times when I have, I’ve noticed I can’t possibly love my wife or even simply notice others around me because I’m only thinking about myself. Take time to recognize those who are hurting around you and serve them. It will in turn heal you.

3. You are who you spend time with

One of the main contributors to my depression was loneliness. My entire friend group shifted. I wasn't connecting with anyone. One of the most foundational changes that brought me out of my pain was community. A new core of men that I could do life with. That would encourage and call me out and up. If you don't have this, find it. And if you can't find it, create it. It will change your life.?

4. Travel breaks your bubble?

Orange County born and bred. Not until after college when I decided to ditch a Master's Degree or pursuing playing pro basketball overseas, and go on a year-long missions trip around the world. 11 countries. 11 months. I often refer back to this as a "pre/post Cody" event. I was entirely different returning home. What I thought I knew of the world or even my worldview, had either been changed, deleted, or at best, reshaped. International travel has a way of doing this better than anything else.?

5. Your network is your net worth.?

After my travels, I started working at young and upcoming startup, QALO. I started with packing rings in the warehouse and before I knew it, I was running the influencer program. QALO doesn't represent to me anything but the people I met and still have relationships with. It's those people that helped me start Kynship, became clients, referred us employees, etc. Work your butt off and take advantage of every opportunity. It can pay massive dividends.?

6. Marriage is the most important decision of your life

I met my wife and we were married 13 months later. For some its 13 years later. Whatever it is, make sure this is the one. This person will be the person you communicate with for the rest of your life. 4 months after we got married, I wanted to leave my secure-salary-safe job and start Kynship. My wife was my biggest support and cheerleader.?

7. Just do it

When I was considering leaving QALO, I wrote down a list of characteristics that I wanted my next job to have: autonomy, leadership opportunities, ability to bring change, etc. Starting Kynship checked all those boxes and it became an easy slogan to follow, so I did it. If you're anything like me, you value making wise decisions. But when it gets to the point of just doing it, it's a struggle. Just do it and it will make you more of a person who takes chances.?

8. Celebration is a discipline

Depression is still something I struggle with time to time. It's ever-creeping shadow that peeps it's head up every once in a while. One of the most foundational things of kicking depression in the face is celebration. The small and the big. Celebration most of my life was going to a birthday party or a holiday where no one knew why were there besides, "well, it's Christmas." I've realized it takes discipline to carve this out in your life. Start small. Write things down. And take time to recognize the good that is happening.?

9. Pay attention to your self-talk

This was part of the downfall that led to my suicide attempt. I was my own worst enemy and still have a tendency to be. It’s easy to spiral into a mental and emotional breakdown. What keeps it from happening = communicating right away. “I feel down” or “I’m fearful of ___” or "I keep thinking this...". Allow others in so you're not alone in it.?

10. Giving is a great habit

One of my favorite quotes, "What is obvious to you, is amazing to others." Just sharing what I know and giving it away, has led to more business and relationships than I could ever imagine...and I never asked for anything back. Whether it's your knowledge or skills, or your time or money, start giving it away. You will be amazed how freeing it is.?

11. Suffering reveals gold, if you let it.?

My wife and I experienced a near-death, traumatic accident 9 months ago. It is the hardest thing that I've ever had to go through. But man has it revealed who I am, who my wife is, what we believe and what we value. Now that I'm almost on the other side I can say this: embrace suffering. It is the great educator. If you do, your mess will become your message and you will inspire us all like I hope this thread did for you.?

If you relate to my story at all and are experiencing depression, Talkspace is a great online therapy resource. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts right now, please call 911 or the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255

If this inspired you or you think it may help somebody experiencing any of this, please feel free to share. Thank you for reading.