11 Things to Expect From 1 to 1 Coaching

When I was in the corporate world and people asked what I did – they got it straight away when I said I was an HR Director. That’s pretty clear right? Now when people ask me what I do, unless they've experienced coaching already – most folks don’t really get it. That’s ok. I definitely didn’t before I started down this road either! People can take on that “oh right” slightly perplexed face. About a minute or so later, you can tell if they're curious and then they ask what I actually do or what’s it like for my clients.

So if you're one of the coaching curious, this is for you……..here's what you need to know about working 1 to 1 with a coach.

1. OK first up – you need to do the work. Sounds obvious, but definitely worth being up front about this one. Coaching is a partnership. Your coach can be there with all the questions, skills and knowledge in the world. But they cannot do the work for you. One of my mantras is “it doesn’t happen by osmosis” – and it’s true. It’s like buying a self help book and leaving it on your bedside table. To get the most out of coaching, you’ve got to show up; you’ve got to be open and you’ve got to do the work.

2. A lot of the magic happens between sessions.  A good coach will help you transform. Sometimes clients get huge realisations and transformation happens there and then in the coaching session itself. Sometimes they won’t. Sometimes it's much more gentle as your mind and body process change that took years to build up. When I tell new clients “a lot of the magic can happen between sessions”, they look at me rather doubtfully – but all have come back and said it’s true!

3. You will remember what is important to remember. Some of my clients worry about remembering every little thing we talked about. So if they want, sometimes we record sessions and very occasionally I’ll send them a follow up note. Most of the time I don’t. The reason is I find the brain remembers what's important. You may not be able to recall every detail but some part of your being holds on to it and works subconsciously to help you change.

4. You will hit resistance – lots of it. I would love to tell you that making change is easy. Sometimes it is. Most of the time it’s not. That’s why working with a coach is so helpful. Even if you are desperately longing to make a change, a part of you will start resisting, second guessing, doubting and just plain getting in your own way. A coach will work with you to figure out what's really going on and help you to move past it. I am a firm believer in that old saying “what you resist, persists” – it will keep popping up to try and teach you until you deal with it.

5. A whole new world will open up. Once you start to rediscover what you truly want you'll start to get hungry for more. To learn more, to know more, to experience more. The world is becoming more conscious and personal growth is addictive. Coaching sessions may just be your start.

6. Yes it will likely get all emotional….this is the one that makes most people want to run for the door. But my best advice is to just stay in the room. No apologies are necessary. A good coach will create what they call a safe space for you to get in touch with your emotions. You can get angry; you can shed a tear; you can sob uncontrollably and surprisingly tricky for most people – you can luxuriate in feeling happy and joyful. Most people suppress their emotions for years. Then they bubble up at the most inconvenient times. Coaching allows you to reconnect with your emotions and work through them so you can take action from a more positive space.

7. What you came to coaching for will only be the tip of the iceberg. Every client I've had say they want coaching to help them with a particular thing e.g. get a new job; get a promotion; improve a relationship. Normally within the first session, (the second at the latest!) – they realise what they want coaching on is much bigger. They want to change their lives; regain energy; reconnect with themselves and get out of their own way so they can live the live they have dreamed of and become the person they know they are deep down. And yes – as the coaching sessions progress, they usually achieve what it is they came for too – if they still want it that is!

8. You will achieve more than you think is possible right now. A coach will see you in all of your glory – all of your potential.. You may suspect it’s there or you may have no inkling. You may be terrified of looking too closely with no idea really why. Once you start working together, the coach will hold a larger vision for you than you even imagine. They help you connect with what you truly want and will work with you to clear all the blocks that stand in your way. If you're up for a challenge – your coach will help you on your way. All the while you're free to choose – but like most people, you may need a little push to get out of your own way and a coach will give it to you.

9. Once you embrace change, more opportunities will come your way. This one is downright weird at first. It’s like when you decide to buy a new car and then start seeing that same car all over the place. Or when you find out you’re pregnant and start seeing babies everywhere. Your brain looks for opportunities once you're open to receiving them. Woo woo? Maybe. True? Absolutely.

10. You can’t force change on anyone else. At some point you'll be frustrated that you are changing and all around you – no one else is. Yup – it happens. Here’s the thing – you can’t force anyone else to change. You can influence them; you can offer advice – but in the end the only person you can change is yourself. Your reactions, your actions. Working with a coach will help you to own and accept this and help you come up with strategies to manage it in your life.

11. You will tell your coach things you have never told anyone – even yourself. I left this one till last because it always comes as such a surprise. A surprise just how much people are willing to tell another soul and also how much they uncover about themselves for the very first time. People usually think all this unburdening is something that others do – but certainly not them. And yet – they do. Professionally trained coaches are bound by confidentiality. More than that – they are completely on your side. They are your champion. They want good things for you. They will tell you the hard truth. They will challenge you. And – they will love who you are now and who you are becoming. That’s why we coaches do the work we do.

Next up in the series is 13 things to expect from your coach.....

Nicola

And of course, if you'd like to find out more about working with me, message me here and we can arrange an intro session. 1:1 coaching costs ￡375 a session if you're funding privately. No big tie in - we simply work together as long as it helps you.