11 Do's & Don'ts for Relationships & Marriage
Almost any struggling relationship can be rebuilt into a loving, committed and enduring marriage. The question many couples face is: HOW?
It makes sense to say the following, "I live with my spouse 24/7 and so I know what our problems are." Well, the truth is not so simple.
Consider this analogy:
You go to the doctor and report, "I have a pain in my lower abdomen." You then ask, "So, Doctor, why do I hurt?" You have presented a symptom. The doctor doesn't yet know what is causing the discomfort. If at this point your doctor says to you, "You have neurons that are sending pain signals to your brain. I don't know why they're firing. But this is what you should do. Take painkillers every 4 - 6 hours as needed to mask the symptoms. If things continue to get worse, I know a good undertaker. He charges a very fair price."
Yikes!
A doctor needs to identify the cause of the symptoms in order to provide an appropriate course of action. So, let's say you report, "My spouse and I can't communicate well anymore. There's a lot of tension. I'm resentful and I'm hurting," and then you ask, "What should I do?" Any recommendation to alleviate your feelings would be equally ineffective, unless one other, key recommendation accompanied it.
The FIRST thing that you need to do is identify what causes are behind the symptoms that your relationship is displaying.
Let's look at the first issue mentioned: Communication.