#10Years of @Defying Gender Roles

“To defy harmful, outdated, toxic, gender norms and roles that deny rights and shape our experiences in life with a focus on exploring what it means to be a man today”

This is the mission that has guided the work of Defying Gender Roles for the past ten years. I launched the website and the Facebook group pulling an all-nighter during a work trip in Bolivia. I had no idea that pursuing this mission would become my mission, and DGR would become my home -and the home of others- to do it. Thanks to this work, I have learned so much and so deeply about gender issues, and masculinities, about the power of sharing your dreams with others, of building them with others, and of letting others make this part of their dreams. Also, I have learned deeply about power abuse, misogyny, transphobia, and gender-based violence.

I am so grateful for each of the people who in small and big ways have been part of this work. Some people donated their time and ideas to help me get this right and keep me accountable. Others open the spaces of their classrooms, their offices, their blogs, and their home, to make room for these ideas. Some gave me unexpected gifts, like the chance to do a TEDx talk with three days' notice or invite me to give a talk at their office to then extend a chance to be part of a broader, bigger change, beyond my dreams and expectations. Some people have given their talents, their image, their hearts, and ideas to build collective campaigns, podcasts, blog posts, and even the #ManUp t-shirt. The image of DGR was done in a professional studio, by an outstanding photographer, with Alexander Leipziger serving as the model, bringing his little son to do it. There was no hesitation in any of them to do it. When I think about it, I still get the chills. The spark that powerful ideas bring is magical.

Defying Gender Roles has been my space to try new things, to learn, to fail, to test ideas, and to welcome people who needed encouragement, mentorship, or simply a chance, to pursue their own passions and interests.

As time has passed, DGR has evolved as well. We are still training organizations from the private sector and NGOs who want to talk about gender and what it means to be a man. Since 2018, as I became a parent, the #MasterInLove blog has become my way to document this journey and build the path I am trying to walk while sharing it with others. I have learned that care is the pathway out of patriarchy. Care is the answer to the crisis men and boys have in their hands today.

Defying Gender Roles has been my home, my heaven, my way to translate resistance into action, my shield, and at times my burden. Yet, there is no possible way that I would be the person I am today without it. I would not be working at Oxfam without it, I would not have launched a men’s group in my workplace without it, I would not have met so many wonderful, empowering, sassy, defiant, smart, and caring people without it. I love Defying Gender Roles because not even in my wildest dream I could have imagined the joy and the growth this adventure has brought to me and has been shared with others

This is my first time using “I” when talking about DGR because it has always been “We”. Today, as I take time to reflect on these years, I want to say to you all, thank you. Thank you for believing in me, in these ideas, for making them yours, for daring to imagine a world where we can uphold each other’s rights with love and expansion, with curiosity and joy, with a relentless sense of urgency. Thank you.

We will continue doing our thing. Writing for social change, working with others to develop moments of collective reflection in training and conversations, and advising organizations big and small to help them navigate change. But especially, I hope that DGR continues to be a garden where people can come and grow, as nature does.

Amos Irwin Sean Lyngaas Joya Taft-Dick Ana Garcia Sofia Ciprian Monica Mihalciuc Carolina Hidalgo-McCabe Camilo Prieto Bridget Leigh Snell Jake Stika William Molano Luisa Fernanda Ruiz Camilo Avenda?o Cárdenas Sergio Andrés Moreno Virginia Vigliar Oscar A Castro Amanda Pickett Hector Portillo Catalina Aycardi Sarah Dickins

Check out our work at https://www.defyingenderoles.org/master-in-love and follow us in the LinkedIn group https://www.dhirubhai.net/company/defying-gender-roles/