107 Reasons to buy your kid the dog

OK, so I ran out of steam at 27. I would argue that this is more than enough ammunition to convince loved ones and hesitant family members.

I am going to preface this by saying I was that annoying kid. Every birthday, every Christmas, I asked for a dog. Well, I did mix it up and sometimes asked for a pony to go with it too.

This is the list your kids are hoping you will read:

1.??????You can warm your feet on them in bed, and you don’t get shouted at

2.??????It's impossible to be too overweight if you own a spaniel. Those little fur balls need a walk and a half

3.??????They act as if you have risen from the dead when you return from work/school. Great for the self-esteem

4.??????If you don’t like your parents/spouse cooking the dog will hide the evidence when they leave the room

5.??????Meeting people. Dog people are a different breed. We will chat with you in the street. I do want to know where you got smuckums new collar from and whinge that it’s raining AGAIN

6.??????They can't talk back

7.??????They fucking love a cuddle

8.??????I might pretend here that they will teach your child about responsibility. Hell, they might! What’s more likely is that they will teach your child what it is like to be loved. Loved with no expectations.

9.??????They cheer you up. There is something about the little furry critters that is good for your mood. Don’t ask me why, ask science.

10.??For some reason, they improve your immunity. It is more likely due to the fact you are exposed to more germs and dirt than you could have ever imagined

11.??Good listeners

12.??Deter burglars

13.??They are a great judge of characters. They help sift out the rubbish friends and the wanker boyfriends

14.??Fun

15.??Loyal AF

16.??You don’t have to go for a walk alone looking like a weirdo

17.??They are everyone's favourite party guests

18.??Funny

19.??Good for content. My Instagram is fantastic. It’s a glorified photo reel of the woofers

20.??Do anything for a treat

21.??Easy to keep entertained

22.??Can train them to do anything!

23.??You can dress them up in cute outfits

24.??They will go anywhere with you

25.??They don’t judge

26.??They make you very popular at the school gates

27.??Cheaper than a pony

Let's be honest. The kid will not pick up the poo. Regardless of what they are promising you. If you're lucky they will kick some leaves over it. They will whinge about walking it when it's cold and raining.

They will most likely forget to feed it from time to time.

Your house will never look and smell the same again. But I guarantee it will be a happier place!