100% of Suicide Deaths are Preventable!

We often hear about people who, on their death bed, look back over their lives and assess what they did right, what they did wrong and, if they had their time again, how they would do things differently. Well, why do we wait until our final hours to make this important life assessment? Surly this is too late, surly we need to stop, take time and restructure when we have time in front of us to facilitate such change.

I was a typical male in my early thirties, no wife, no children, and a perfect career which unfortunately only existed in my daydreams. I was coasting through life, and I couldn’t believe that I had got to this age and nothing that I had set my sights on as a young sixteen-year-old had materialised. Where had the last fifteen years gone? Through bad decision making, I was in a job which I simply didn’t enjoy, and I found myself wishing the weeks away which led to non-descript weekends which of course, passed by in seconds. I was depressed at how my life was turning out, but most of all, I was depressed at my lack of success.

Unfortunately, suicide is the biggest killer of males under the age of 45. Many males within this age bracket are experiencing high levels of depression because of a self-critical appraisal of their own success in life to date. Males are inherently programmed to be the hunter gatherer, the bread winner and “the man of the house” but in our modern-day society, this is a pressure which is accentuated by the success or perceived success portrayed by others on social media. This pressure is leading the UK into unprecedented levels of suicide, a total waste of young life which leaves devastating large holes in the lives of families and friends who are left behind. This needs to change.

We have seen a massive shift in dealing with mental health, never more so has an old saying been so relevant “A problem shared is a problem halved”. Unfortunately though, I feel that in the UK we tend to deal with the cure instead of the preventative. Instead of dealing with the effects of depression, let’s try and stop it from happening in the first place! And let’s remember, 100% of suicide deaths are preventable!

So, back to the beginning, if you were given just a few months to live, how would you change your life? How would you prioritise what is important? When I started to consider these questions, my first thoughts were about my family, my loving parents who have always supported me in whatever I wanted to do, my friends were next and then, my career!

It made me realise that I had spent so much of my time wishing for more than I had, and as a result, I had missed out on so many opportunities to enjoy life with family and friends. I had also not had the confidence to follow my own path because I was worried that I was going against external expectations, and this re-evaluation taught me that you need to stay true to who you are and not what society wants you to be.?

The whole process was liberating and made me feel much more positive towards my future, so much so, that I decided to write my thoughts down and record them over a piece of music that I had written. I called it “32”.

“32” is written as a message to the wider public to take time out of their busy email filled lives and consider what is most important to them. Hopefully, it will help people who are feeling that the pressure of life is getting a little too high and enable them to take a step back, take a breath and think about making a change. Of course, this change doesn’t have to be dramatic, I’m not suggesting that everyone should hand in their notice and head off around the world, because a small change can have a massive effect too.

Writing “32” helped me to see more clearly and allowed me to concentrate on what made me and my family happy and I feel that this might not have been the case before I decided to act. So, give it a go, grab a pen and a piece of paper, and think of ways to get a little bit more out of life and enjoy what we’ve been given. As it says in the song “Have a Blast!!!”

George Barnes

“32” by George Barnes is available on itunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/32-single/1233613304 and on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04wt8Ox2PCI