100 lbs Lost and So many things Found

So I'm back again... 3rd Saturday of the year... 3rd Article on Linkedin... Yay for the small wins.

And today I am fulfilling two promises... one I made to my friend Vicky Fraser, and one that I made to an inspiring LinkedIn connection I've made called Tom.

See, Tom did the bravest thing that I think anyone could do.

He declared some big audacious goals at the start of the year, in a Linkedin post - and he told us all that he was going to take his health really seriously, lose weight and get fit.

Now I was drawn to the post because weight loss was a goal I also set for myself a few January's back. (and I'm not going to lie - it wasn't the first time I set myself the challenge. It was one of those resolutions that kept turning up like a bad penny, because I just couldn't get to grips with it), but I didn't tell a soul. I just decided to quietly get on with it...

Making that kind of declaration is truly bold and inspiring - and helps with accountability, when it does.... but for me it was all too much pressure then, so I just beavered away quietly, doing my own thing, based on research, books and trial and error - but it was the first time that I sustainably succeeded at it.

Indeed as I write to you now in my post-parkrun fatigue, I am pleased to report that I finally hit a magic milestone for the first time today.

Big Losses

I am down 100lbs... or 45.3kg as I count it (I'm not that good with imperial measurements - except when I get to big milestones)

I wanted to hit this mark for so long and I have oscillated around this goal so many times, and yet... it has felt so near and so far so many times.

But, I also have some things to put that into context.

See, I set myself the target of losing 1kg per week. Using Brian P. Moran's life changing 12-Week Year Model - I smashed the 1st two cycles, I lost 30kg in 24 week, and have taken a lot longer to lose another 15...

A lot longer...

A whole lot longer... like it felt like it would never end (as it still hasn't... this is just a milestone along the way)

And yet here we are... I finally made it. Not exactly when I wanted to, and planned to - but absolutely when I was ready to.

I reached that milestone.Not exactly when I wanted to, or when I planned to, but I reached it nonetheless. Absolutely, when I was ready to.

So I have spent quite a bit of time answering the question "How have you done it?" Especially to people who haven't seen me in a while, and always give me a flash in their eyes that they are looking for the rest of me...

And for some reason, it was a bit embarrassing at first. You don't want to admit you're losing weight... because that's admitting that you're carrying excess weight (as though talking about it is the embarrassing part, but anyone carrying excess weight will know what I mean)... So I would brush off the answer like a matrix-come-jedi master and say things like 'Oh you know....', 'The usual...'.

The Usual? Well that's a boldfaced lie, if ever there was one - the usual for me had got me into a ridiculous place!

Looking back at that time, it's so weird to see that's where I was with it all - because I'm so tall, that I had to lose a bunch before anyone even noticed... and then when they did, I wished they didn't... weird eh?

But now, I also realized that I wasn't answering the question because I didn't know how to describe what I was doing... or why it was working? But now I do know.... thanks to an incredible book by an amazing guy...

Atomic Habits

My weight-loss journey has been the adaptation, culmination and refining of some Atomic Habits. None of these ideas are my own, they are from the life-changing book of the same name by James Clear. That book has changed my life, my business, my relationship and my family - and I say that as someone who has something of a 'book problem' - and so have read many many books.

Key principles that I used, and then were given a name or a concept in the book were as follows:

• I started my weightloss journey on 15th of the month. Yes it was a Monday, but not the very first day of the year, month or anything dramatic like that. I made a decision that I was tired of not being who I wanted to be, and wanted to be better - but I knew that some changes I wanted to make were tough.... so I was going to have to do them differently.
• I stepped on the scales for the 1st time in years... and then I cried ("how the hell did I allow it to get this bad?") and then vowed that was the last time I would ever see that number again or let it be that high - and I kept that promise... as every morning from that day to this... I step on the scale. Some days it's scary, other days it's surprising. A fair few it's been downright depressing... but no matter what it is - I do it, every day. I get that daily feedback loop (and yes, there's water, hormonal, digestion fluctuations from one day to the next - the number itself isn't actually always the point) but it also means I don't have a heart attack when the numbers go the wrong way. It also means that I can't put weight on by accident or without knowing... when I take my March Birthday hiatus, or Christmas Hiatus, I know what's happening - and if I want something different to happen, then I do something different. Of all of the Atomic habits I've used over this journey this one has by far been the most consistent.
• Once I worked out my start weight, and then what I reckoned I wanted to weigh - I literally realised I needed to lose a Kardashian... and that was daunting as hell. So I just forgot about it. I stuck to a weekly goal of 1kg a week, and I have won many weeks, lost a fair few too - but I have won more than I've lost, and that's the main thing.

Winning My Vote

In the book James talks about every action being a vote for the kind of person you want to be. He talks about the identity shift that comes from being consistent in your new goals, and that's something that I can say has definitely happened.

I want to be physically fit, healthy, full of vibrancy and vitality. I want to be an active mum. I want to continue to school my sons at football. I have wanted so many things - but I kept voting for Haribos instead. If I was to succeed in this venture, I was going to have to start voting differently, and actually winning those votes.

The fact is that I'd always been voting - whether I realised it or not... and Haribo was winning until that day... ooh and pancakes.... and most cakes too!

He poignantly talks about the fact that you don't need to win a vote unanimously to win... but just by a majority to win... so I'm not going to lie to you and say that I've not had Haribos between that starting day and now...

But not every day

I have lost many days...

One day I put on almost half a stone and it wasn't even Christmas...

But I have won a fair few more, which is why I have reached this milestone today

Big Gains and All Sorts Found...

I would love to tell you that I feel more confident... but I don't - I'm not delusional, and losing weight doesn't suddenly make me Beyoncé. But I have realized that that doesn't really matter. It's not a barrier to me achieving my highest aspirations - and that's the gaining of a new hope that money can't buy.

I've gained a physical sense of adventure and you may or may not see me at an upcoming obstacle course or Tough Mudder (even though mud is not my thang) - or even a London to Brighton Bike Ride. I managed to rack up a PB at today's ParkRun so I know that there's a lot more to come from me on that side.

I've found that Kale ain't so bad. I've found that I have way more control than I ever thought possible, and I found out just how smart and creative I am before I eat.

But the most important thing I've gained from this journey is proof of my power. Proof that I can do anything I put my mind to. Proof that I have bedded in the consistency superpower, that I'm not too old to change - that even big hairy audacious goals are fully attainable - and so for me, as I continue this journey (yes, I still have further to go... - I'm not trying to have one of those 'after' pictures that looks like a 'before' picture) - I know that I can do it... I have done it before, not perfectly, but consistently, and sustainably... and so for me... the stars are the limit in this... and every other area of my life too

P.S: I have actually started pulling together the wisdom that I've learned over this journey, and it fits quite neatly into a little framework... I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with it - but feel free to connect with me, or PM me, if you'd be interested to find out more when I'm done x x