That 100 ft journey - part 3

That 100 ft Journey – part 3

In the last 2 episodes of the ‘the 100 foot journey of starting up’, I wrote about how tough, sometimes grueling, sometimes unpredictable a startup/entrepreneurship journey can be. ??

Just to recap:

In the first part, I wrote about how the initial days of a startup journey can be: How you lose your identity once you give up that CXO designated business card, how known people change their attitude towards you, how unknown/unexpected people come to help, and how important having a co-founder with opposing views is, and so on. You can read more of that here : https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/100-foot-journey-from-3-million-sqft-01-mn-arun-anand/

In the second episode, we covered about how grueling the journey can be just because we have to get everything right in order to succeed– as in, just as we hit a wrong number if you get 1 of the 10 digits wrong in a mobile number, you can hit failure even if just one of many factors go wrong – be it the luck factor, be it a pandemic, be it your company culture, be it a relationship with co-founder or client, be it an assumption gone wrong and so on.?You can read more of that here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/100-ft-journey-part-2-98454-13576-sorry-its-wrong-number-arun-anand/

The journey of start-up, is of course not devoid of Funny or interesting or intriguing moments either. There are many awkward instances when you don’t know to laugh or to cry. Sometimes, it is worth laughing it over than crying. This time I thought I shall share some of such moments, where you are confused and you just don’t know how to react.??In a mallu’s parlance these moments are called ‘Gulumal’ moments, much named after the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NA2E1a18Ro

Some interesting Gulumal moments that i came across in the last 18 months:

·????????You never solicited any investors, but a potential high profile investor approaches you all by himself after hearing your market success stories, and then meets you 5 different times over multiple beers, agrees upon a valuation, investment amount and associated T&Cs. ?You drink all those beers (which is ok), make time for meetings and do decks+excels only because he sounded very genuine and are moved by his keen interest. Then, when the time to cut a cheque comes, he goes RNR. No response. No call or text backs. Why the Hell he approached you at all? Why the hell he met you for a 5th time? Some questions have no answers. Just have a 6th beer alone and move on with your life. Some people just show up from time to time to just distract you :)

·????????Many people had told me this well before I had started – But It’s Funny! When you work on a services based business model, the mood of a B2B client can be mathematically mapped by way of a graph as directly proportional to the % of his problem you have solved (Its also called Arun's principle of Client Molecular uncertainty) In our case, sales is the delivery metric. The Metric can be different for different industries. It goes like this - When First 25% sales is done (you are beginning to solve his problem): He treats you like god and buys you gifts & beer every week. When Next 25% sales is done (part of his problem solved): ?He becomes your best buddy and he discusses future ideas & long term collaborations. ?When the Next 25% sales done (most of his problem solved): He is your self-appointed mentor/guide. He begins to advise how you should ‘up’ your own game. And The Last 25% (his problem solved fully): He behaves like he knows much more than you and highlights various deficiencies he experienced in your delivery. F=Ma. Remember?

?·????????Another famous investor, approaches you for investment, tells you that he believes in real money making steady businesses and not in loss making tech startups. We thoroughly agree. Leave aside our small weakness of extreme tech illiteracy, What can beat the real businesses (!!) All this amazon and FB and zomato are just farce (!!..pun intended). After many meetings, He is convinced of business model, growth potential and other aspects. Then he asks us to send the financials. Once he understands your balance sheet well, he writes saying he doesn’t think our business model needs external money to grow. ?WTF!!!! If you are loss making, then they won’t invest. If you are profitable also they won’t invest.

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·????????Just when 3 of your competitor’s top employees interview with you for a job stating that the competitor’s culture is bad and that salaries are delayed, and just when you feel a bit proud about yourselves and what you have built, 2 of your top employees get offered 70% hike by the same competitor and they put in their papers. What to do? Hire those 3 or fire these 2 or just keep quiet?

?·????????One of your team members publicly comments on a head hunter’s hiring linkedin post that he’s interested in applying and I happen to see that. When I ask him why he did that, he, quite embarrassed, says ‘next time I shall be careful.... and I shall use incognito mode’. Sigh!! He then promptly deletes the comment too from the post. There are people who always keep looking out and still stay with you for years. Logic doesn’t prevail. They are Just like God.

·????????When our gen folks went out to seek new jobs, the employers negotiated hard. Their snooty HR heads said things like: “8 lacs CTC ?final – Take it or leave it!” and you, the fresh engineer, accept the offer with half heart. After many years, you become the boss and interview a 20 something guy from the tech-boom-spoilt generation Crypto (whom you’d not meet in your career ever if you were pursuing a corporate CXO role). And when you finally make an offer after interviewing him, the guy coolly says “15 lacs CTC is what I want – let’s take it or leave it”. ?Earlier, the employers screwed us. Now the employees screw us. Our gen always suffers.

?·????????You go to pitch for a high value business deal and just as you enter the client’s office, your (ex-) best friend turned competitor just comes out of the same office and you have no option but to smile and make small talks and you ask: how’s market? He says: it’s good. Then you whisper to yourself: Mother F__er! After 2 weeks we get to know, a third unknown party from Mumbai has grabbed the deal. We both become friends again. Thanks to Mumbai competitors.

?·????????In your pervious employment as a CXO, you have particularly taken the case a junior employee who shows no growth potential at all. After 3 years, As an entrepreneur, you meet a new potential client, who then loops in his new sales head to liaise with our company to take this forward. And guess who is their new sales head? ....Gulumal!

?·????????When one of Your friend refers to you a potential real estate client, you go and meet them for formality sake. ?The client, who is building his first project says: “After Acropolis, we are about to deliver the second best land mark Bangalore will ever see. This architecture is inspired by that of the Taj Mahal”. You are thoroughly excited. Your love your friend even more now for the sweet reference. Suddenly then the client brings a rolled sheet and opens it to reveal a Mughal cellular prison like plan that has densely stacked 200 units of 1 & 2 bhk ?apartments starting 30 lacs per apartment. Location - just 10 mins before mysore city. So you excuse yourself out to the washroom and leave from there quietly without informing anyone. Scoot!

·????????Just as you get splashed whenever you wear crisp white: In the middle of an important presentation, you step out for a leak and your pants’ zipper gets stuck. You move it, push it, and finally pull it forcefully and Alas it comes off!! Malfunction is not just for ramp models. Then you try to fix it for over the next 20-30 mins from inside the bathroom, and finally your co founder calls on your phone and says: “ Is all ok? we have been waiting for you".. What would you do in such a situation? Stay inside or come out? Reply below on comments.

There are many other moments:

o??Your driver comes late only when you are already late for a meeting. So be prepared to drive when u are really getting late. Whichever meeting you are headed to on that day, that office building will never allow visitor’s parking. Its Murphy's law.

o??Just when you think there is enough money in the bank account, GST date of 20th comes. And the CA sends you a GST payable statement and says last 3 month’s GST is pending. This happens every month how much ever you comply.

o??Just after you bitch about your ex-employer, and explain why you left them and all that, the new potential client says that he and he are best friends and they play golf every sunday.

o??In all client meetings, as a matter of courtesy, you keep your dues/payments as the last topic. The client actively participates on all other points, we revisit his stories of 1972 war and 2007 financial crisis, his new porche and so on. Just when you broach up on the last point in the agenda, the clients next meeting is well due. And he says: lets discuss your payments coming week. Next week what happens? Repeat.

o??Just like your wife, always treat your cofounder like your boss. If you mess up there, you will get into many Gulumal moments.

?Have you faced similar funny moments in your corporate or career? Please do type in comments below. Also please do forgive for typos and/or grammar. This was written in a jiffy without much edits or proof read.

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More soon!