10 ways for women to embrace their boldness

If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard a woman say to me “I couldn’t possibly do that” I’d be writing this to you sipping a rum cocktail in a hammock under a palm tree on the pristine beach of my own private island!

The lessons women are taught are many and come from a diverse pool of contributors; our families, partners, friends, employers, society.

?Don’t be too loud, ambitious or confident.

? Don’t expect to be paid the same as a man.

? Express your opinion all you want but don’t expect it to be heard.

? Pick a career that embraces your feminine abilities of nurturing.

? Always put your partner and children before you.

Well, not around here.

My coaching is about embracing your inner boldness.

So, here’s ten ways to do just that:

1.??????Find a champion. Not just a mentor but someone who will have your back and make things happen for you. Find someone you admire you a step or two further down the road. Want to get something done? Ask them for their feedback and, if it’s positive, ask them for their support in getting it done. Note, this action is a world away from asking someone “to pick their brain”.

Men champion younger men all the time. They recognise themselves in their younger colleagues, they give advice on the golf course or over a pint, they hire the son of an old school friend.

Women need champions like this. And don’t forget to pay it forward by becoming a champion yourself!

2.??????Don’t work for free (also known as “it’ll be good exposure”). I had a client last year who was asked to contribute an entire module to an online course. A module that could then be taught by anyone the course owner chose to have teach it. A good 40 hours of work for “exposure”. I can’t tell you how excited I was when she said no. She was met with “but everyone else is doing it for free”. That’s not an excuse!

3.??????Stop worrying about what other people will think of you. This is part of the whole “know your place” mindset. Cultivate a mindset of shame resiliency. Once you learn to shut the door on that worry, you’ll be amazed at how liberated you’ll feel.

4.??????You’ve got to learn to embrace failure. You will fail. We all fail. You can let it break you, you can ignore it or you can stop and ask yourself “What are the learning points here?”

5.??????Confidence, confidence, confidence. I know, this is a tough one. But the more risks you take, the more you’ll succeed and the more confident you’ll feel. Until then, fake it ‘til you make it. Stand tall, walk into a room like you own it, look people in the eye when you shake hands. Tell yourself you are confident – your brain believes the stories you tell it, so make sure you’re telling it the good ones!

6.??????Learn to say no. Don’t take on extra work when you’re already drowning in it to make other people happy. And don’t say yes to things that don’t align with your vision, goals or values.

7.??????Set goals. If you want to have a bold life, you need to know where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Taking control of your journey lets you stay in control of it.

8.??????Speaking of taking control, don’t let people tell you what to do with your money. Whether that’s your partner or your family. If you have money to invest and you want advice, seek it from someone who knows what they’re talking about. If that is a partner, make sure asking their advice won’t cause problems if you decide to not take it up.

9.??????Fix your money mindset issues. Setting your own path means being comfortable making the money you need AND want. Freedom comes with financial independence, allowing you to make decisions based on your wants and needs, not on needing money. You’ll never be able to leave that job you hate or make your own business financially successful if you’re scared of money or worried that financial success will bring you more problems than happiness.

10.??Be your own authentic self. What works for others won’t work for you. People can tell when you’re not showing up as yourself (hello trying too hard!!) and they’ll see you as insecure. No matter what you do or how hard you try, you’ll never be able to make everyone happy or please them all.

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. Value your success happiness and peace of mind and that will filter down to everyone in your world. And the ones who aren’t happy for you when you do this? Well, maybe they don’t deserve to be in your life.